


Whatever You Do, DON'T Fall In Love!

by Lynning



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Superman/Batman (Comics), Superman: The Animated Series
Genre: Character Death, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Polyamory, Reluctant Do-Gooder Joker, Unrequited Love, superbatjokes, universe hopping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-03-02 20:03:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 41,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18818029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynning/pseuds/Lynning
Summary: The Joker has vowed, come Hell or high water, that he will keep the man of steel from falling in love!(This fic has its serious moments, but is less serious and more casual than my first series.  Just wanted to play around with this idea that's captured my imagination. XD)[Warning: rating has been bumped up!  I did it to be cautious and would call it 'tamely explicit'.  Still, read at your own risk!]





	1. Seeing Double

**_Ah, Metropolis, the ideal city; it is clean, orderly and futuristic. And who inhabits this bustling burg? Why, none other than the productive citizens that come from all walks of life! From doctors to baristas, the people of Metropolis are doing their best to make society a better place. And no one is working harder than the shining example of the cities' can-do spirit, Superman!_ **

The figure watching the news play from the window of Ken's Electronic shop rolled his eyes, before flicking a pair of dark sunglasses over them. Metropolis; what was so good about this city, anyways? The weather was too hot, the skyscrapers were too shiny and the people were too nice. Even _he_ didn't smile that much. Well, not anymore. The man shook himself.

"Snap out of it, ole' boy! You can drowned your sorrow in a tub of ice cream later! Right now, you've got a job to do!"

A flash of red and blue cut the sky above. The man on the street smiled for the first time in days.

" **Ha**! Speaking of which!"

"Superman, thank you for saving me. I thought I was a goner back there."

"Anytime, Lois."

"So, I was wondering. What does a Superhero get up to in their spare time?"

"Well, I-"

Just then, a pressurized stream of water came out of nowhere and hit Superman square in the face. A normal person would have been knocked off the building. Thankfully, Clark was anything but, normal. Once the water died down, he turned to see the perpetrator. Waving at him, like they were old friends was none other than the clown prince of crime.

"Yoohoo!~ Supey! **Ha**! Soaked to the bone's a good look for you! _Hoohoohoo_ -"

The Joker didn't even have the time to make a run for it. Superman had him by the nape of his purple, pinstripe coat, his eyes as serious as a heart attack. Lois made herself discreet, but she was still nearby. Seeing Gotham's most notorious crook would have made a more sensible person run for the hills. The clown prince cut his eyes at her, as she snapped _less_ discreet photos with her phone. But, since when had that woman ever been sensible?

"What are you doing in Metropolis, Joker?"

"Oh, you know, just thought I'd stop by, sight-see-"

"You hate Metropolis."

The clown prince removed his sunglasses and presented the larger man with a mock look of innocence.

" _Why_ , Superman! **Ha**! I didn't know you _knew_ me so well! Has someone been watching me in his spare time? I don't doubt that with those pretty, super-powered eyes of yours, that you could catch a man taking a piss half a world away!"

"You're going back to Arkham."

"Spoiled sport." those painted lips muttered with a pout.

The Joker didn't even put up a fight as the man of steel wrapped an arm around his waist and made for Gotham. He merely placed his hands on the unyielding limb and leaned forward a little; almost like a child on a Ferris wheel, enjoying the ride. Clark rose an eyebrow. Something was off.

The Joker was just letting Superman carry him to the last place he should want to go. Clark heard enough of Bruce's stories to know that the only time the notorious clown prince of crime ever gave up without a fight was when he was getting exactly what he wanted. That meant that he was playing right into the mad man's hands. But, that begged the question; what could the Joker possibly be getting out of this?

Well, no matter. The Jester of Genocide was Batman's problem; something the cloaked vigilante always made explicitly clear. Speaking of which, Clark supposed he should warn him of his visit; the Bat also hated when other heroes dropped by _his_ city unannounced.

"Batman, come in. This is Superman."

**"Superman, this is Batman. I copy."**

"I have the Joker and am en route to Arkham Asylum."

**"Negative. That's not possible."**

"What? Why not?"

**"Because I have the Joker in the Batmobile and am en route to Arkham, myself."**

"Then, who is-?"

Snickering caught his attention and drew his eyes back to the man in his arms, who was now wearing the most shit-eating grin the Kryptonian had ever seen.

"Curious?"

Superman closed his mouth, which he only now realized had parted in bewilderment, before giving his best, no nonsense stare.

"Tell me what you know, Joker."


	2. Not My Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark struggles with his conscience, while Joker sleeps off brunch.

"Talk."

"Brunch."

"This isn't word association, Joker."

"It wasn't suppose to be, Supes! I'm _starving_ here, **ha**! You want answers? I want brunch! Let's make a trade!"

The man of steel sighed. How did Batman handle a villain this random? But, as he held the man, he realized that this waif weighed less than Lois and that was saying something. Clark had been raised a farmer's son. Hospitality was the name of the game and no one was ever turned away from the dinner table.

"Woah!"

Superman held the Joker out at arm's length to look him over, large hands now cradling the man's middle. He could feel every rib; so very, very skinny. Maybe he should just feed the Joker on principle.

"Earth to Boy Blue! Have you made up your mind yet? And stop _looking_ at me like that! It's Hella creepy and that's coming from a guy who's used to a grown man in a Bat suit glaring him down!"

"Hm? Oh, I'm sorry. And quick question. Who am I?"

"You mean without the red cape, tight spandex and heroic one liners? Why, none other than The Daily Planet's Clark Ke-"

Before he could even get the last word out of his mouth, the clown prince found himself in the kitchen of a small apartment. He groaned, reeling from the tipsy feeling of those break neck speeds, before shaking it off and taking stock of his surroundings.

The dwelling was nothing like what he expected out of a hero of Superman's ilk. It was small, but not cramped; simple, but not bare; clean but, still cozy. And that _smell!_ Joker's senses were soon filled up with the most delicious aroma. It drew him like a lure to sit down on one of the nearby stools, as he watched the other man cook.

"And here I was thinking you were going to take me to one of those greasy, back alleyway dives! Instead, Superman's serving Gotham's most famous baddie a home-cooked meal!? **Ha!** Now, I've seen _everything_! Say, where did you learn to cook, anyways?"

"Ma taught me. Pa was more of a traditionalist, but Ma insisted that a man needs to know how to feed himself, too."

"I side with your mom on this one." Joker muttered, as he greedily eyed the flapjacks piling up on his plate.

Clark smiled at that. Of course the Joker would say that, since he was benefiting from Ma Kent's good sense and foresight. Once he assembled the plate, he placed it before the Joker, who was looking at it like he'd found the Holy Grail. A pile of flapjacks, bacon, scrambled eggs and garlic with rosemary home fries.

Superman sat down with his own plate, just in time to see the massacre. The Joker began to woof down his meal, starting with the bacon, only to end with the pancakes, obviously saving what he considered to be the best, for last. Superman furrowed his eyebrows, his own fork falling by the wayside. He may not have known much about Batman's nemesis, but he knew a lot about how people who hadn't eaten in days reacted when placed in front of food.

"Slow down." Superman said, as the clown tried to stuff a whole flapjack into his mouth at a time, "You're going to-"

Right on cue, the clown found himself fighting for air. Superman sighed, as he began to pat the clown's back to help him get the rest of it down, "-Choke."

Once the clown recovered he gave a coy grin, before eating slower, even allowing himself to savor the taste. Clark sighed in relief, drinking some coffee to help settle his nerves. He let his eyes sweep over this Joker, again, really soaking in every, last detail, as he hunted for the truth. This was more Batman's department, being able to flush out clues based merely on a person's appearance; the man was a regular, Sherlock Holmes. But, surely being Superman, he could find _something_.

Blue eyes subtly brightened, as they took a peek at what the clown had in his pockets. A stained handkerchief, a pair of sunglasses, a twenty dollar bill, a hand-buzzer and- A set of hands covered his eyes. He took the man by the wrists and peeled the hands back with ease, finding himself practically nose to nose with the bombastic criminal.

"Uh uh uh, no peeking Supey, **ha**! Besides, it's not like you could see my last, little toy anyways."

"Why's that?" he asked, as the Joker eased by into his seat.

The clown smiled his widest, "It's in a lead box."

Clark blinked in surprise. Now that was interesting. 

"So, that means, you came to Metropolis to target me, specifically?"

"Bingo!"

"Why?"

"All in good time, Clarky-Clark! All in good time. Now, after a meal that filling and tasty, I'd like a nap. So, I'm crashing on your sofa! I know you won't mind, _hoo_!"

Clark watched in slight shock, as the man flopped onto his couch making himself at home, before practically passing out. Soft, whistling snores began to pour out of the pale man, prompting the hero to sigh. Well, his pa always said that being welcoming was a Kent virtue and to never leave someone out in the cold. Not that it was cold in Metropolis today. In fact, it was a stifling eight nine degrees. Did that mean he had wiggle room to squeeze around that particular moral principle?

Superman observed the Joker a few moments more, before shaking his head to rid himself of temptation; no. He may have been a villain, but he was also a person. A person who needed help. But, at the same time, this was Batman's territory; this was **Batman's** _villain._ The entire Justice League had meetings to discuss this kind of thing. Having the Joker here in his city, in his apartment, was a breach of agreement. So, without further adieu, he snapped a picture of the prone clown, before sending it to Bruce Wayne's phone; the message back was immediate.

**I'm on my way.**

Superman nodded, before grabbing up a throw blanket and gently covering the Joker to shield him from the chill of the air conditioner that he had on full blast. Knowing that Batman would take at least thirty minutes to get there, Clark set about cleaning up the dishes. Every now and then, he spared a glance to the man in his living room to make sure that he was still there.

Without his animated movements to distract him, he could see more than ever before concerning this Joker's state. He was thin and exhausted. There also seemed to be a lot of bruising peeking out from under his left sleeve. Clark shook his head, before wiping down the counters.

Not his business, he reminded himself. Not his villain. Not his problem. He spared another glance, when the man groaned in his sleep, rolling over and curling into a tiny ball. A mystery gadget in his pocket, in a box made of lead.  Coming to Metropolis to see him, specifically.  Wanting Clark to feed him. It wasn't his problem; or **_was_ **it? 


	3. God Complex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Joker meets his double and declares himself a god.

The ride to Arkham Asylum was incredibly awkward; that was the understatement of the year. The Joker was still out like a light, snoring softly in the back seat, Batman was as silent as a stone, lost in his own head and riding shotgun was none other than poor Clark Kent, aka, Superman, who was wondering how on Earth he got stuck in the middle of this mess.

"So, uh, Bruce-"

"Did the Joker say anything?"

So much for lightening the mood. But, then again, what did he expect? With the mask on or off, this man was all business.

"I asked him to tell me what he knew."

"And?"

"And he asked me to feed him."

That caused the tension to go out of the vigilante's body as shock filtered in.

" **Feed** him?"

"Yes. And then he passed out on my couch. Bruce, I don't think he means to cause any trouble. He's not even carrying any weapons-"

"Everything's a weapon to the Joker. Even something as benign as a spoon. Don't underestimate him, Clark."

The hero sighed, before he spared a glance behind him at the clown still curled up in his fluffy, light blue blanket. He knew of the Joker's horrific crimes. But, as he watched him sleeping like this, it was almost hard to believe. However, Clark didn't have any more time for contemplation. The squealing of the rusty gates of Arkham opening up to receive them brought him back to the present. He steeled his gaze. It was time for Batman and Superman to get to the bottom of this.

The two clowns were placed side by side. They marveled at one another, like someone who saw their reflection in the mirror for the first time.

" **Ha**! You're _me_! Well, kind of!" said the Joker in the Arkham uniform, "Kind of _scrawny_ , though, aren't we, pal?"

" **Ha**! More like you're kind of **chubby** , buddy! What's the matter? Been spending too much time sitting on your keister at the ole' ha-hacienda?"

Their smiles grew sharper as they glared holes into one another with crossed arms, as Batman and Superman observed them from the other side of the one way mirror.

"They don't get along very well-"

"Good."

Clark could see Batman's point; two Jokers getting off on the right foot meant two criminal masterminds working together to make a mess of Gotham, instead of one. But, then again, how could these two possibly get along, when they were so different?

The Joker who belonged to this world had broad shoulders, while the one who showed up in Metropolis was of a slighter build. The local clown sat with his legs splayed wide open, while the other crossed one leg over the other. Straight, spiky hair juxtaposed trimmed on the sides with silky, wavy locks adorning the top. Trench-coat versus coat tails. Sloppily stretched lipstick contrasting painted precision. It was like comparing night and day. No, that wasn't right. It was more like.. like..

Just then, the larger clown made a remark that Clark missed, only to have the Hell smacked out of him by the new arrival. The man of steel snapped his fingers as it came to him. It was like seeing a Samurai and a Geisha seated side by side. Both were elegant, but their differences were clear.

" **Superman**."

Batman lead the way in, just in time for a brawl to break out. Both clowns had each other by the throat, as they rolled around on the concrete floor, fighting fiercely for dominance. Gotham's knight managed to snatch one of the Jokers up, realizing that he had managed to catch the smaller clown. He hauled him away from the original, which Superman secured with ease.

Just then, the later blinked in surprise as he felt blood trickle down his neck and soak the collar of his cheap, Arkham issued uniform. The slighter nutcase smiled, revealing that he had clenched in his teeth none other than the larger man's ear. Superman gaped in shock. Okay, now he could believe that the Joker, in any form he came in, was dangerous. And dare he say, the smaller the Joker, the meaner the clown.

He spat the ear onto the floor, showing off his blood-stained grin to the other man, before suggesting rather unhelpfully,

"Might want to get that sewn back on, while you still can, buddy-boo! _Hoohoohoo!_ ~"

" _ **Oh**_ , you're gonna get yours!" the larger clown said, kicking his legs and throwing an absolute conniption fit, even as the guards rushed in to secure him, "You better believe it, you little twink!"

The doors slammed, as Batman carried the smaller of the two clowns out off the cell.

"You shouldn't have done that." Superman said, admonishing the villain, as he used his own cape to clean the blood from the other's lips, even as Batman handcuffed him.

"Had to show Mr. big, large and thinks he's in charge, who's _really_ the boss." he shrugged, "Now, he won't get in the way. **Ha** , famous last words, but here's to hoping!"

"Get in the way of what?" Batman asked, as he plunked the clown down onto the hood of the Batmobile, getting in his face in an attempt to intimate him, "What are you planning, Joker?"

The slighter clown shuddered, closing his eyes and humming in delight.

"Do that again, Bats."

"What?"

"Growl; I _like_ it!"

Batman rolled his eyes from under his hood, before backing off. They were getting no where with this interrogation. Sensing the dark knight's rising impatience and not wanting to see this new Joker on the business end of a Kevlar clad fist, he decided to give it a try. He lowered himself down, until he was face to face with the other man.

"Joker, you promised you would tell me why you were here, after I fed you brunch, remember?"

The clown prince stared into those pure, clean, blue eyes, feeling his resolve wavering.

"You wouldn't.. break your promise, would you?"

The painted man twitched a bit, before finally deflating like a worn out, party balloon.

"Alright, Supes. I'll tell you and Batsy the truth. But, not here. There's listening devices all over Arkham; not just yours, either, Bats. So, to the Batcave! _Hoohoohoo_!"

Batman and Superman watched as the clown hopped off the hood and dove into the backseat. Bruce turned to eye the man of steel, who was looking quite pleased with himself.

"What?" Clark said, offering a light shrug, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, you know."

The Dark Knight seemed to consider his reasoning, before giving a non-committal grunt and leading the way to the car. Superman followed with pep in his step. The next ride in the Batmobile wasn't nearly so nerve-wracking; Clark supposed it was because the Joker's chattering helped fill up the silence.

"Wow, **ha**!"

Once they were inside, the clown opened his arms and twirled around and around as he stared up into the endless darkness of the Batcave. The wonderment and fun was cut short, however, when a splatter of white landed on the clown's lapel. He blinked at the dob for a few moments in surprise, before shaking his fist and cursing the bats that lived just out of sight.

As he dug around in his pockets for his blood-stained handkerchief to clean himself up, Clark, who was nearby, clamped a hand over his mouth in an effort to stop laughing. Batman shook his head at the two; but he would be lying if he said that a smirk hadn't snuck its way onto his features the moment the realization of what had just happened to him hit the Joker like a ton of bricks. Still, this was no time for games.

"Superman, Joker.  Sit."

"We're not dogs, Bru- I mean, Batman." Superman said, but took a seat, nonetheless.

" **Oh** , _please_. If I know _your_ name, you think I don't know **his**?"

Batman exchanged glances with Superman, before Clark nodded. Yes, it was true. This Joker, unlike the other one, seemed to know who they really were. Batman grit his jaw; this was troubling news. A Joker who knew their secret identities. What else did this Joker know? How high a threat level was he? Was Batman going to have to enact plan Jack-In-A-Box?

Almost as if being able to sense the vigilante's rising panic, the Joker dug something out of his pocket and placed it in the middle of the table, sliding it carefully to the center. The object gained the attention of the other two, while their expressions were carefully picked over by the Joker. The container was as long as a pencil, half as wide and covered in odd zigzag patterns; there didn't seem to be a lid.

"Try to touch it."

Superman was the first to take action. The moment his finger tips came within a meter of the box, he felt pain. Honest to goodness, **_pain_**.

"Ah!"

"Now you, Bats. Come on!"

Bruce narrowed his eyes at the Joker and his sadistic smirk, before also trying and receiving the same effect. He managed to keep any sound from escaping but, by the way he was gritting his teeth, the Joker knew he got the message. Now, the clown prince let his finger tips caress the mysterious box. The odd markings lit up green where ever he touched.

"I think you boys are getting the hint, **ha**! This box can't be opened by anyone, but _moi_. And if it's taken from me, it always finds its way back to me. And what's in the box? I can't tell you that. What I can tell you is that this box practically makes me God. The decisions I make will end up shaping this world, as you know it."

"How's that?" Clark asked.

"Can't tell you that either, Blue Boy! But, I can say one thing! I'm ultimately here to do one thing and one thing only!" he glanced at Batman, before jerking a finger at Superman, "I'm here to keep **this** guy from falling in love!"

" **What**!?"

"That's right, Clarky-Clark!" he said, taking a seat on the larger man's lap and looping his arms around his neck ever so coyly, "Get used to me cutting in between you and that obnoxious Lois Lane! I'm your own, personal cock-block! But, don't worry, Clarky-baby. I'm doing this to save the world and what little there is about it still worth saving! Why, I'm practically your own guardian angel! _Hoo!_ No need to thank me!"

Superman blinked at the clown, before exchanging a look with Batman, that the Joker couldn't quite read. Why were they smirking like that? Had his carefully practiced delivery backfired? Were they not picking up what he was putting down?

"Hey, boys! Feelin' a little out of the loop here! What's with those grins?! I just told you that I'm practically a motherfucking god! Why aren't you telling me, 'Joker, you'll never get away with this! bla bla bla!' Where's the shock!? Where's the outrage!? Where- Where are you taking me, Superman!?"

The man of steel had tossed the clown over his shoulder, holding him there like a sack of potatoes.

"He's all yours, Clark. Call me if you have any problems."

"Will do, Bruce. I'll let you know how things go."

"How _**what** _goes!?" Joker squawked, managing to grab his box right before take off, " **BATSSSSSSS**!"

It was no use. The ground was getting smaller and smaller by the second. The clown groaned and finally just opted to go for the ride. Perhaps he wasn't as in control as he thought. This wasn't going anything like he expected. But, no matter. As long as he could keep **it** from happening again, this was fine.

Let Batman have his fun chasing his Joker. Let Riddler make his riddles and Johnny do his experiments. Let the world turn at its usual pace to make a new dawn. As long as things stayed the same, the Joker was content. Everything would be fine, as long as Superman never fell in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Yes, that's right! The Joker our story is centered around is, out of the two of them, the 'cute one'. XD That being said, these two Jokers are very different in style, so they don't get along very well. Something Batman thanks his lucky stars for, I'm sure. XD Also, they are beginning to realize that Jokes has a weakness for Clark giving him the puppy dog eyes. Oh my. XD And yes, there is a hidden joke between Superman and Batman that the Joker is not being let into. He isn't telling them what is in the box? Well, they aren't letting him into what's so funny. XD So, I guess it's even! What do you guys think is in the box? What do YOU think the hidden joke is? Let me know in the comments below! =)
> 
> Have a great day, folks! ^^


	4. Relax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker shares one of the things making him so nervous and Clark finally accepts some of Bruce's generosity.

"Alright, let's see. Hold these." Clark dug a few sheets, a blanket and a spare pillow out of his closet, before stuffing them into the Joker's arms.

The clown could barely see over the pile, but he still managed to make it down the hall into the living room, just in time to see Clark convert the sofa into a bed.

"Thanks." he said, as he took the linens back and began making up the mattress for him.

Once he was finished, the man of steel turned around to find a very perplexed clown staring at him.

"What's the matter, Joker?"

"You and Bats are taking this.. surprisingly well. And you, well, you're not fighting this at **all**!" he said, as he motioned toward the makeshift bed, "You've practically rolled out the welcome mat!"

"Did you _want_ us to fight?" Superman asked, before sitting down on the bed.

The Joker held up one finger, about to launch into some kind of tirade, only for the weight of what Superman said to strike a cord with him. The clown prince shut his mouth and stroked his chin, mulling things over.

"Well, **no**! It's best if you and Batsy don't make my job any harder, after all! It's just.."

"-Fighting's what you're used to."

"You've hit the nail on the head, big boy." Joker said with a sigh, as he flicked up his coat tails, before taking a seat beside the man of steel on the bed.

"Not everything has to be a fight, Joker."

"Doesn't it, though?" the clown asked with a half-hearted grin.

That told Superman a mouthful about the place this Joker had come from. Yes, things could get gritty and often times were downright unfair, but there was still a lot more light and joy in this world than anything else. Perhaps this Joker had seen too much darkness. There was a sadness in his eyes that he was fighting to hide behind that coquettish smile. A weariness he was fighting to conceal. It was like looking at an animal that had been backed into a corner with no way out.

Was that what every action and moment had become to this Joker? A battle? A spark ignited in Superman's chest, as his gaze became more serious. It shouldn't have to be that way. He knew that their original Joker was violent and a trouble maker, but this one had committed no crime. He also said he came to save this world. It was an outlandish claim, but he should still be given the benefit of the doubt and a chance to prove himself. But, first and foremost, he should be able to have some peace of mind.

With that resolve held close to heart, Clark placed a hand on the clown's shoulder comfortingly, only for the other man to jolt like he was struck by a live wire. Superman's eyes softened; so much anxiety; so high strung. His grip remained firm, as green meet blue.

"You're my guest, Joker. You don't have to be so tense."

" **Hpmh** , you'd be tense _too_ , if you ended up in a world where everyone looked like they'd taken a hit of Titan before you got there!"

"Huh?" he blinked in confusion, as he removed his hand.

"You _heard_ me! Do you know that in my world, I was a half an inch taller than Batsy! I come here and everyone's towering over me, like giants! Been eating our Wheaties, have we?"

"You mean, in your world, everything is _smaller_?"

"No, I mean in this world, everything is **bigger**! Pay attention, Supe-head! I'm the _perfect_ size, thank you very much!"

Clark shook his head, before eying the Joker, who was doing his best to look offended. One word came to mind; fun-sized. A genuine smile crossed Clark's face, before he took the clown by his shoulders and dragged him closer.

" **Hey**!"

Clark didn't say a word; he just started rolling those strong, miraculous hands over the other man's shoulders. The Joker froze, before he slowly melted under the attention of those magical fingers.

"Mnnnn." the clown purred softly, all of the fight going right out of him.

"You need to relax." Clark said softly in the smaller man's ear, "No one's going to hurt you. I promise."

"Nice promise. Bet ya can't keep it." the clown slurred, as he leaned more into the touch, grunting as Superman worked on a particularly stubborn knot.

"We'll see about that." Clark said with assured confidence, before he finally let the Joker go.

The Joker, however, pushed back, expecting more and drawing a chuckle out of the man of steel, who decided to allow the clown a few more minutes of massage time. It wasn't like it mattered; his hands didn't get tired like other people's for one and for another, while the clown was somewhat sedated, this was a good time to go over house rules.

"Since you're going to be staying with me, there's a few ground rules."

"Oh?" the Joker hummed in between noises of joy.

"Yes. No explosives, no guns and no shoes on the furniture. No criminal activities of any kind. You've got to be a good boy."

" **Mm** _hmmm_ ~"

"Huh, that was.. easier than I thought." he muttered as the Joker pulled away to look at him.

" ** _Now_ **who's expecting everything to be a fight?"

They shared a grin, right before Clark's phone went off. As he opened the text, the Joker, who seemed to have no concept of privacy, peeked over his arms to see it.

 **I'm wiring over expenses for his care**.

Clark opened the amount and the Joker gave a low whistle; Bruce had just sent Clark one hundred thousand dollars. Joker rubbed his hands together, flush with the greed of consumerism.

"Nice clothes and expensive body lotions, here I come!"

"Bruce, I hate when you do this." Clark muttered, before hitting a few buttons on his phone.

"What are you _doing_!? Don't send it **back**!"

The Joker managed to grab the phone from Clark, clutching it to his chest, defensively. Superman sighed.

"I don't need Bruce's money."

"You don't need it, but **I** sure do!"

Clark shook his head, before prying the phone from of Joker's greedy paws.

"You sure as heck don't need one hundred thousand dollars worth, Joker."

The man of steel's mind worked quickly, as he added up what he thought it would take to care for the clown properly.

"Ten thousand. I'm sending back the rest."

The Joker was a little pouty, but the compromise seemed to pacify him. At least he would get some new clothes out of the deal and maybe some of those strawberry body lotions he liked.

"There." he showed the new amount to the Joker, "Now, let's go out and get you some clothes."

" _Ooohoohoohoo_ , I **love** shopping!" the clown prince exclaimed, as the other man shimmed into his alter ego's attire, "Though, thanks to you, looks like we'll be slumming it at the mall, instead of spending all our dough at Shay Chaz!"

Clark shot the Joker a mildly stern glare.

"Still, beggars can't be choosers, I suppose. Even if **said** beggar is going to save the world! Just thought I'd remind you of that, Clarky-Clark! _Clark?_ Wait for me!"

With that, the two men hit the streets to find the Joker some new threads and to grab something quick for dinner, failing to notice the limousine that rolled down its window after they had passed by.  Bruce grinned as the Joker chattered incessantly, before asking if Clark liked Chinese food.  

"Are you quite certain that Mr. Kent was the right party to leave a rogue like the Joker with, Master Bruce?" 

"Clark will be fine.  The Joker has no Kryptonite on him.  I made sure."  
  
"That's all well and good, sir, but I meant more along the lines of Mr. Kent's ability to keep that rascal out of mischief."  
  
"Practice makes perfect."

Alfred sighed, before putting the car into drive.  There was no reasoning with Master Bruce when he was like this.  Said man seemed to have something in mind; Joker's weren't the only ones who could come up with an elaborate scheme.  And once his mind was set on something, there was no use trying to change it.  Instead, like the rest of the world, it seemed that he, Alfred Pennyworth, would have to wait and see how the events unfolded and who's plan put them on top of the heap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Just a short, domestic chapter to start off what Clark and Joker have going on! And Bruce is watching from a safe distance. And now, two plans are in motion! The Joker has a mission, Bruce has an agenda and Clark is the only man without a plan, stuck in the middle! What are those two up to? Will their plans bring them closer together, or put them at opposite ends, as they usually do? Like poor, ole' Alfred, I guess we'll have to wait and see! ^^


	5. Netflix and Chinese Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark assists Joker with his shopping trip and they stay in for Chinese food, afterwards.

Clark heard giggling behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to see three women, who quickly turned away and busied themselves, if only to not be caught gawking at the adorable scene in front of them.

"They're so cute!"

"The smaller guy is lucky to have such a dedicated boyfriend!"

"Yeah, wish _my_ boyfriend was that attentive!"

Clark sighed, before turning his attention back to the dressing room.

"Are you done yet, Joker?"

All Clark got in response was a discarded outfit to the face. The sound of the Joker's frustrated growl told him all he needed to know. They weren't anywhere near the finish line.

"Another reason I hate this burg! It's like Metropolis' designers have the fashion sense of a goldfish! Why, if I ever catch any of those philistines in a back alleyway, they're gonna wish they'd packed up and moved to- IT'S PERFECT!"

The clown prince's mood swings were jarring, but he wasn't going to complain. This was the fifteenth store they'd stopped in and if the Joker finally found something he was happy with, Clark would thank his lucky stars for it. And that wasn't the only thing he would be thanking them for. Out of the dressing room, strutting like a model on the catwalk, was a truly dressed to the nines Joker.

Gone was the pinstripe suit, replaced by a mauve dress shirt hugging the lean man's frame until it gave way to sharp skinny jeans that cut the clown's figure just so. A pair of deep purple, leather dress shoes completed the ensemble.

"So, whaddaya think, Supes?"

"Uh, it's.. You look.."

Should he tell the other man the truth?

Deciding there was no harm in it, he shrugged before confessing, "You look very nice, Joker."

"Aw, Supey! Now, you're just making me blush! But, I do look kind of nice in this, don't I?"

Joker observed himself in the mirror, giving a spin, before he hung off of the taller man, one foot up in the air, causing all of the fan girls behind them to squeal in approval. Clark, meanwhile, rolled his eyes.

"You're going to be impossible to live with now, aren't you?"

" _Hmmm_ , **nah**!" the clown said after some thought, before he pulled away from Superman and ducked back into the dressing room to gather up the few pieces he liked, "Just feed me on a steady diet of compliments and coco-puffs and you'll be fine!"

"You'll need more than just coco-puffs. I could feel every rib, Joker. From now on, I'm going to be feeding you a lot of home cooked meals."

"If the rest of your cooking is as scrumptious as that brunch, you won't have nearly as much trouble getting me to eat as the folks at Arkham did.  At least I know the food you're giving me's not drugged." the clown muttered the last part, before rapidly changing focus, "Just don't fatten me **too** much, C.K.! I've still got a girlish figure to maintain, you know!"

The Joker wore that outfit out of the store with Clark carrying the growing number of shopping bags. But, it seemed that even the Joker, with his seemingly boundless reserve of energy, could get shopper's fatigue.

"Whew! I don't know about you, but I'm pooped, **ha**! You said you liked Chinese, right? Let's go get some chow!"

"Sounds good. Do you want to go out or order in?"

"Depends! Any good shows on tonight?"

"Well, the current season of Survivor's playing."

"Ooo, I **love** that show! The manipulation! The betrayals! The blindsides!"

"I like it for the challenges and tropical locations, myself." Clark said with a smile, "So, order in?"

"Yes! Lead the way, Supey!"

Stepping out of the steam of the shower, Clark sighed in relief. It'd been a long day; a very long day. One that promised to bleed into an even longer week.  In his blue striped pajamas, Clark sank down into his recliner, as the Joker took up an armload of clothes and took his turn in the bathroom.

Tomorrow was Monday. He wasn't like Bruce, who could shuffle his schedule around at all. He would have to be out of the house by seven and be seated at his desk at the Daily Planet by eight, no delays, no excuses. That meant trusting his 'house guest' to behave himself until he got home. 

Did he trust him? Could he? Clark ran a hand through his dark hair. What had he gotten himself into?

Just then, the Joker came scampering out of the bathroom; Clark's eyes were drawn to the other's peculiar choice of pajamas. Was that really a panda onesie? The clown plopped down on the sofa bed, before pulling up his hood and kicking his padded feet in the air, a little.

"You know, there's something to be said for ending up in a world where you're smaller!  I could never find one of these in my size, before!  **Hahaha**!"

The man of steel snorted, amused.

 _Cute_.

Before long, each of them had a plate of Chinese food in front of them as they watched the third episode of the current season of Survivor.

"Who's the blond bimbo with the big chest?"

"She's Sherry, a communications major from Louisiana.

"And who's that dude she keeps cozying up to at night?"

"That's Clark Davis. He's a lawyer from L.A."

"Another Clark, huh? Not bad.  Not bad, at all. Maybe that Sherry's not such a bimbo, after all. She's got good taste! Though, he's not nearly as _fetching_ as another Clark I know."

"What was that, Joker?"

Clark was pretending to have not heard the clown's muttering. Which was comical in and of itself, since they both knew he had super hearing. Still, the grinning clown decided to let this one slide; the poor hero's cheeks were so red, that they could be mistaken for ripe tomatoes.

"Oh, nothing!  Nothing at all, **ha**! Anywho, that was a fun episode! Too bad Sherry's still there, though. I don't think I like her; all boobs and no substance."

"That's not very nice, Joker."

"I never pretended to be, Clark."

The hero shook his head, before he turned the tv off.  He returned their plates to the kitchen and started turning the lights down low in preparation for bed. This Joker was a handful; he was demanding, spoiled and borderline savage. But, at the same time, at least he was honest. Which is why the next words that passed through those painted lips meant so much.

"Clarky-Clark?"

The man of steel paused at the head of the hallway, turning to look at the smaller man from around the corner, "Yes?"

"Thanks. For everything."

If that didn't put a smile on his face, nothing else would.

"Don't mention it, Joker. I'm happy to help you."

With that, the clown was left alone. He waited until he heard the subtle squeak of the mattress under the other's bulk, before he dug around in his pile of things for something he'd purchased that day. By the light of the moon shining in from the window near his makeshift bed, the clown opened a notebook and began to pen down his thoughts.

 **Day** **1**

**Clark likes:**

Chinese food  
Survivor  
Cooking

 **Notes** :

Clark = Hands on, but shy. Patient. Honest. Sweet. Gentle. A real boy-scout.  
Likelihood of him blowing up the Earth = .01%

**Memo to self:**

~~Try to get Clark to use his dreamy massage skills on my feet.~~  
Stay focused on the mission. Keep Lois from chatting up Fly boy!

With a nod, he tucked the notebook under his pillow and fell fast asleep with a smile on his face, excited for the prospects that a new day would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> The only time the clown tends to put pen to paper is to make plans! So, that's right, we have a clown on a serious mission! A clown on a serious mission in a panda onesie! Lol, it's the Joker, folks, what'd ya expect? XD Anyways, we must all wish our panda clad Joker the very best of luck! It will take everything he has ever learned to succeed in this mission!


	6. Why So Tempting?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker sees Clark doing something ordinary and finds himself distracted. (Stay focused, Joker!)

_The noise was jarring. The air was thick with smoke. The weight on top of him was suffocating him. He had one of two choices; live or die. Sleep, it felt so nice. Maybe he should just close his eyes; let it happen. It wouldn't hurt at all. He would just cease to be. Green eyes dripping blood shot open wide. A growl tore from his sore throat, as the arm he could still use clawed for the surface. Just a few more inches to freedom._

The Joker threw himself onto the floor in a tangle of sheets and blankets, fighting the fabric. The shrill beeping of an alarm clock brought him out of his dreams seconds before Clark rushed down the hall, dressed in a sharp, blue suit. The man of steel made a beeline for the coffee pot, his motions a blur as he got the device prepped and ready.  Said hero of justice and order, bounced on the balls of his feet, tapping the counter as he waited for it to percolate.

The Joker huffed a soft laugh, before freeing himself, his nightmares forgotten. It was so strange to see a super hero doing something so ordinary. The clown prince eased into place next to him, glancing from the coffee machine to the other.

"Can't you just use your heat vision or something to make it go quicker?"

"Tried that once. Had to buy a new coffee maker." Clark said, sleepily, before blinking twice and looking at his new housemate, who grinned and waved ever so coyly.

"Oh, Joker. Hey."

"Hi. Not much of a morning lark, are you Clark?"

"Not so much, no." the man of steel admitted, scratching the back of his head, sheepishly.

That confession seemed to get the biggest smile out of the slighter man, puzzling him.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing!"

"You're not getting out of it that easily, Joker. Why does me being a little slow to take off in the mornings make you smile like that?"

The Joker's grin fell and was soon replaced by a small frown that seemed rooted in contemplation more than anything else.

"Pretty sure that you wouldn't get it."

"Try me."

The Joker looked skeptical, but decided to give it a go.

"Well, I mean, look at you! Standing there, like an ordinary Joe, waiting on something you can't speed up or change! So drowsy and baggy eyed and do you know you have a cowlick? What I'm trying to say is.. Us hopelessly flawed slobs who slum it on this little rock called Earth look at folks like you and see gods! I guess that it's kind of nice to know that even with all of your special powers and superhuman strength, that you're still.. well, human."

"I'm technically Kryptonian-" Clark said, causing the clown to huff and look away.

But, he soon found a finger under his chin, making him look Clark in the eye; those beautiful, shimmering, crystalline eyes.

"But, I know what you meant. Thanks, Joker. It's nice that you see me as a person and not just a symbol. Not everyone does."

Was it his imagination, or was Clark's lips getting closer? The Joker froze. At the last possible moment, forehead bumped forehead. The clown prince blinked with wide eyes, making Superman smile; so warm, so inviting; so tempting. The Joker found himself still glued to the spot, even as Clark grabbed his coffee, said goodbye and shut the door.  What just happened? Eventually, shaking hands dug his notebook out from under his pillow.

**~~Shy.~~ A real tease. Chances of blowing up the world = .05%**

The clown prince placed his notebook down, before running a hand through his tussled, green locks. This Superman was nothing like the one he had met in passing in his own world. Or was he? Maybe this affectionate side was just something the boy scout kept well hidden, so that he didn't spoil his public image? Either way, the clown felt mildly scandalized at not having been better prepared by his partner in crime for this undertaking! 

"For Pete's sake! What kind of world did that imp drop me in!?"

But, just then, he was thunder struck by a passing thought that he couldn't decide was scary or enticing or both. If Clark was this hands on, what did that make Batsy? The clown found himself biting at his handkerchief, every bone in his body trembling, as he fought for control of his raging hormones.

"Stay. Focused. On. The. Mission-Life's-Not-Fair-Deal-With-It!"

With a howl of frustration, the clown flopped down on the bed. Eventually, all of the tension left his body. Once he was sure that he wasn't going to jump the first bus to Gotham City, he pushed himself into a sitting position and made his plan of attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Aw, poor Jokes. XD It's like he is a starving man who's found himself dropped off in the garden of Eden. The catch? Every tree is forbidden fruit! XD


	7. Pastel Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Joker gets distracted.

The Daily Planet loomed before him, prestigious. But, if the building was meant to impress, the architect had chosen the wrong target. The Joker strolled in, defiant of the tourists, who crowded around and gawked at the stately structure like a placid herd of sheep.

"Stupid tourists." the clown grumbled, "If they were in Gotham, they would learn better than to stand around like that. A good way to get pick-pocketed. Or blown sky high, **hahaha**! Really, it would depend on which baddie was skulking around that day."

"Can I help you, sir?"

The Joker found his personal dialogue interrupted by a cheerful receptionist, a young lady with blond hair and blue eyes, who, quite frankly, looked like she had never had a bad day in her entire life. The Joker should know; he was an expert on the subject. But, instead of giving her one, as he itched to do, he poured on the charm.

"You sure can-" he said, as he glanced at her name tag, "Kate! I'm with the ink delivery company and one of our shipments that was suppose to go to the print shop down the street is missing! Could you check and see if the boys delivered it here by mistake?"

"I sure can!" she said, returning her gleaming smile, before getting up and heading toward the back.

The clown watched her round a corner, before he made a break for the upstairs, snickering the whole way.

"Distracted today, Smallville?" Lois said, as she poked Clark with her pen.

"Huh? Guess I am. Sorry, Lois." he said, giving his best sheepish grin.

"Well, just don't let Perry see you staring out the window like that. You'll be doing a ton of overtime."

Clark nodded, as the woman picked up her purse and left for her lunch break. The man watched her go for a moment, only to get a face full of water.

" **Blff**!"

Once he recovered, he looked down under his desk to see none other than the clown prince of crime, himself.

"Joker!"

He got shushed by the villain, just in time for Perry to stop by.

"Did you get that article about the new library finished yet, Kent?"

"Not yet, Mr. White."

"God, Clark, you're the slowest reporter I've ever met! Better shake a leg, or get looking for a new job!"

Once the man had stormed out of sight, Clark faced the clown once more, sighing at that expectant face.

"You can't be here. I'm working."

"Working hard or hardly working? I saw Lois poke you with that pen, 'smallville'. There will be no flirting on MY watch!"

"If I promise not to flirt with Lois, will you go find something to do that's not going to get you into trouble?"

"Hm, since you're such a boy-scout, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. But, as for that last part? Well, no guarantees! **Ha**!"

The pale man crawled out from under the desk, his eyes staying locked on Clark's, as he made his way for the door. The Kryptonian shook his head; what a handful. Once the clown had crept down to the second floor, he found himself debating how best to escape the building without being seen.

"No fire escapes!? Another reason why Metropolis is no fun!"

But, just then, he spotted something just as promising. A vent? A smile flew onto the clown's ruby red lips.

"WEEEEEEEE!"

The ride was a lot more fun than the landing. The Joker had to wiggle out of a pile of newspapers, grumbling the whole way. But, at least he hadn't broken a limb.

The question was, what should he do now? Should he just sit around outside the Daily Planet for Clark to clock out? The clown drummed his fingers against his chin. That didn't sound very appealing, at all.

Just then, he spotted something across the street. A toy store! The man-child lit up like a firefly as he bolted for the door. The dolls didn't entice him at all and the balls were passed by with low interest. What he finally put his hands on was a box in which resided something special; just in time for someone to put their hands on him.

" **Ah**!"

" _Sh_." the man soothed as he held him from behind, before placing his chin on his shoulder to take a look at what the clown was holding, "Rainbow sidewalk chalk."

"Very good, Sherlock." the Joker groused, half-heartedly, with a smile on his face.

It was so good to see him. It was so good to hear his voice. This wasn't his Batsy, but at least, it was **_a_ **Batsy. And one that made wearing the guise of a billionaire look just as natural as wearing his Batsuit. Seriously, what was up with this weird world?

"You're a lot nicer today." the clown noted.

"I'm not working today."

"I think Clarky-Clark took me home, because he was worried you were going to beat me like a rug, **ha**!"

"Clark's all heart." Bruce's deep voice muttered, before he finally stood to full height, giving the shorter clown room to breathe, "Do you want that?"

"Yes. Can I have.. all of them?"

Bruce raised an eyebrow, before his smirk came to match the Joker's. He was soon digging out his wallet, willingly unleashing a force of chaos in Superman's city.

The man of steel sighed in relief as he was finally able to leave the Daily Planet. He loved his job as a reporter, but people would be surprised how dealing with a discontented boss was just as hard for Superman as it was for any other member of Metropolis' citizenry.  But, as he looked around, he realized that he had an even bigger problem; where was the Joker? Panic gripped him, causing him to dash into a phone booth and to come out fully clad in his hero attire.

What if he had gotten himself hurt? Or arrested? Or- The man of steel sighed; _Or_ distracted by a meddling billionaire.

A few moments later, a fully dressed Clark Kent emerged from a nearby alleyway, before taking a seat beside Bruce on the park bench. There, they observed the clown prince in a crowd of people from young to old, using the hundreds of cartons of sidewalk chalk to make the city of Metropolis a little less perfect, one pastel smudge at a time.

"You spoiled him." Clark accused.

"A little doting never hurt." Bruce rumbled.

"That's more than just a little. You always over do it, Bruce." the man of steel said, before observing the scene again, "He's a lot more docile than your Joker."

"He's not _my_ Joker. He's a menace. But, this one is-"

A little girl pointed to the clown's purple chalk, which he held back grudgingly for a moment, before she offered him her pink one. The clown put his hands to his cheeks, acting delighted, before handing over the his and taking the pink one, instead.  Both fully grown men sitting on the bench couldn't help but, to mutter at the same time,

"Cute."

By the time the sun went down, the entire park was covered in drawings. Joker stood up, wiping some of the powdery residue from his face.

"Now, that's more like it! Metropolis doesn't look like such a total snore fest anymore! Good job, everybody!"

Cheers erupted all around. With that, he turned around to face the two men, who looked like they'd been patiently waiting for him. The clown prince blinked twice in surprise. Bruce and Clark were in one place. They were smiling at him, Clark's wide and Bruce's subtle. It was a little intimidating. But, it was also a very welcoming sight. So, the Joker strolled over.

Both men scooted over, leaving room for him to take a seat in the middle. In comfortable silence, they enjoyed the cool of the evening and the beautiful sunset shining its last rays upon all of the rainbowed artwork on the ground. Maybe Metropolis wasn't such a bad place, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Getting Batman and Superman into one place is easy. But, getting their alter-egos into one place is typically a challenge! It seems that this Joker just has what it takes brings the boys to the yard. He's not even trying! In his universe, he is so used to having to rile Batman up to get him to have anything to do with him and Superman is a lot more stern with folks like him and not interested, at all. 
> 
> For the clown, this is all such a nice change of pace, even if it scares him a little. But, it begs the question, what is so different about this universe, than the one he came from? Little does he realize that it is such a small thing that makes all the difference. Can you see it yet? If you've got a guess, put it down in the comments below! ^^ You guys know how I love theories!~


	8. Leave It Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker has a nightmare and Clark is perplexed.

_**Fire** ; fire was everywhere. Buildings were crumbling down all around him. There was screaming in the distance, then, nothing. Understanding thunderstruck him. He was the last one; the last human standing on a dying world._

The Joker shot up in a cold sweat, his chest heaving for air. Pale hands began twisting the fabric of the blue blanket, until his knuckles ached, his eyes shifting to and fro, as he tried to soothe himself.

"Everything's fine. E-everything's f-fine."

"Joker?"

The clown prince jumped, eyes locking with purest blue, before sighing in relief.

" **H-ha!** Supey, don't startle a fellow like that! Don't want to give your ole' pal Joker a heart attack, do you?!"

"I didn't mean to scare you." Clark said, his eyes filling with worry, as he approached.

The man was not calming; he was still as tight as a bowstring. Clark slowly eased closer to the jumpy man, who was staring at him. Slowly, the Kryptonian sat down on the mattress and put an arm around the Joker's back. The man jolted, before stilling, save for his mild trembling.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

The Joker seemed to contemplate matters for a moment; maybe he didn't want to seem weak or vulnerable? However, it seemed that Clark's patience won out. Joker cuddled up to him, head coming to rest against his chest. His eyes slowly closed.

Superman smiled; the Joker's trust warmed him. This man, for all of his quirkiness and sense of fun, had obviously been through some things. Admittedly, he felt a little guilty that he hadn't noticed sooner. Clark couldn't fix everything, but he could be here now for him, at least.

"Get some sleep, Joker." Clark spoke softly, as he laid down and pulled the covers up, trying hard not to jostle the other man, who was still resting against him, "I'll be here."

He held him close, as the clown prince dropped off to sleep. Clark stared at the ceiling for a few minutes more. That look of terror didn't belong on the Joker's face. He didn't know what horrors put it there, but the hero had made up his mind; he would protect the other's happiness from now on.

The next morning, Clark woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. He slipped out of bed, only to find arms still locked around his middle. It would have been easy to pull away, being Superman, but he wanted to untangle himself as carefully as possible, given what the clown prince had gone through the night before.

After using his speed to replace his torso with a pillow, he continued with his morning routine. Only the smell of fresh coffee seemed to rouse the jester. Clark just got finished pouring his own cup, only to see the Joker at his side, eyes still closed with sleep, raising a cup in silent askance for the rest of the dark brew.

It drew a warm chuckle out of Clark; how silly could this man get? He poured him the rest, before asking, "Cream?"

"Mm."

"Sugar?"

"Mm."

"How many?"

"Five."

"Four. Too much sugar isn't good for you, Joker."

"Mm."

One sip and the clown woke, like a Jack-in-a-box springing to life.

"Whew! You make a good cup of Joe, flyboy, **ha**!"

"Glad you like it."

Clark fumbled for words for a moment. Last night, that scream. Did the Joker even remember it? Should he even bring up what happened? He decided to brave the choppy waters in hopes of helping.

"About last night-"

" **Don** ' **t**. Just, don't. It's nothing, really. Nothing I really want to talk about, that is. Some things are easier that way."

It was hard for Clark to let this go, but there was something to be said for respecting another man's boundaries, so reluctantly, he nodded. The clown huffed a soft laugh, as he saw the other's posture. So, this is what drove Superman to the point of mental pain; not being allowed to save someone they felt really needed it.

"It's alright, Supes." the Joker said, as he gave the other a pat on the shoulder, "It's just memories. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

Clark felt his heart twist as he watched the Joker set his cup down and stroll to his pile of clothes to put together an outfit, like it was any other day. The other's answers raised more questions than anything. And that look in the other man's eyes; why were they so sad? What hurt him? Why did the other man seem so keen to forget?

"You'd better fly along, Clarky-Clark! You're going to be late for work, **ha**!"

Much to his horror, the Joker was right. If he was late, he was sure he would be getting the boot. Perry seemed to have it out for him in particular these past few months. It wouldn't do to get into any more trouble than he already was. So, in a blur, he tore out of the apartment.

Joker watched him go with a smile, dropping it the moment Clark left. Out from under his pillow was brought his notebook.

**Day 3**

**Memo:** Is he sympathetic? Or suspicious? Either way, my nightmares are giving away more of the story than I want to tell. But, he's not pressuring any info out of me; yet. No, he wouldn't do that to me. This Clarky's a sweetie. Everything's fine.

Chances of him blowing up the world = .03%

**P.S.** If you're reading this, Bat-mite, you'd better get those systems back online, ASAP, bud! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Well, the plot thickens! Now, we know who Joker is working with! And Superman sees that not all is cake and party balloons with everyone's favorite clown! But, good ole' Clark, at least, is sweet enough not to pry, which makes the clown's job easier. Still, they say that things have a way of coming to light. What will Clark and Bruce find at the end of this? I guess we'll have to wait and see! 
> 
> I hope you all have a wonderful day, friends! ^^


	9. Last One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chocolate cake and confessions.

Joker didn't know how he'd gotten suckered into this; he was, after all, more accustomed to being the one doing the suckering! But, when Clark looked at him with those big, pretty eyes, how could he possibly say no? But, at least he had gotten an added bonus.

"Only if you say that you'll owe me one, Clarky-poo!"

"Okay."

"No, no, I want to hear you say it! **Come** on! Let those wonderful words flow from those angelic lips of yours, _hoo_!"

"I'll owe you a favor."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now, can we go?"

"Fine. Say, will Brucie be there?"

"Yeah. In fact, he's the one who came up with this idea. Having bad dreams every night's not good for you, Joker."

"Aww, it's so sweet how much you boys worry your pretty heads over little ole' me!" the jester said, as he folded his arms and leaned against Clark's chest, gazing up into those dreamy eyes of his. 

"He wants to run some tests. He thinks that you coming here could have hurt your mind."

" **Hurt** my _mind_!? **Hahahahaaaa**! That's the _funniest_ thing I've ever **heard**!"

"Why's that?"

He didn't get the joke; no one ever did. But, just this once, the Joker decided to humor him. Clark froze, his eyes widening as the clown put a hand on one of his cheeks in a caress that matched the gentleness of his smile as he said,

"Because making the leap to this universe was the best thing that ever happened to me."

The man of steel found himself frozen to the spot, his heart banging against his ribs like a tiger trying to get out of its cage. His cheek tingled where the clown's hand touched.

"You coming, Clarky-Clark?" the other man's voice called from down the hall.

Finally, he came unstuck from the moment and followed after the clown, his own smile as bright as a thousand sunrises.  One teleportation ride later and the Joker found them in the one and only Watch Tower. The clown raced to the windows and stared out at the thousands of stars, a ball of excitement. Superman looked on as the jester took in the views.

"Superman."

"Batman."

Once the two heroes acknowledged one another, they stood side by side, as they watched the awestruck prince. But, predictably, it didn't take long for Bruce to get down to business.

"Status report."

Clark suppressed an eye roll at the other's field jargon.

"He's still having nightmares and they're getting worse. Not even me sleeping with him is helping, anymore."

There was a moment of silence, but Clark could practically feel Bruce's eyebrow raising from under that cowl of his.

"Uh, that didn't come out right. What I meant to say is-"

"I know, Clark. I know."

Though, that Wayne-esque smirk that appeared for just a moment said a mouthful for how much he knew Clark wished that statement was _exactly_ like it sounded; he wasn't the only one.

"Anyways," he said, after clearing his throat, "he doesn't think it's the jump that's giving him nightmares."

"How did he come to that conclusion?"

"He said that ending up here was the best thing that ever happened to him."

There was a moment of contemplative silence from his companion. However, as usual, logic won over sentimentality.

"How he feels doesn't change the facts; shifting universes could have put his body under extreme electromagnetic pressure-"

"Bruce. What if that's not it? I think there's something bigger at work here. What if.. What if the place he came from was nothing like our world?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look around you. Sure, disasters happen, but usually, things come out okay. I think that maybe this universe has a lot of nice things that we take for granted."

"You think his nightmares are a result of having come from a universe more chaotic than our own?"

"A nightmarish version of it, yes." Clark said with a hint of a smile at the pun he made, before his look turned serious once again, "But, he won't talk about it to me, so I can't be sure. I'm all for the tests being done. But, if his cells come back normal, what then?"

Batman's jaw tightened, before he focused his vision on the clown, who was still gawking at the beautiful view of the milky way.

"We'll talk to him."

Superman smiled brightly, before giving the man a hug that lifted him off the ground. He knew how hard this was for Bruce. He could be sweet and doting, but he was also a man who found it hard to talk about feelings. Though, if they could get some answers out of the clown prince of crime, then perhaps it would be worth it; at this point, Clark would do anything to help ease the other's pain.

It was exactly an hour later that the Joker was skipping out of the doctors office of the Watch Tower, licking a lollipop given to him for being such a good patient.

"So, Batso, when will we know if I'm clean or not?"

"Sometime tonight." he said, as he walked alongside him.

"J'onn will send us the news via com." Superman confirmed, "In the mean time, since we're waiting on the results to come in, why don't we all get some dinner together?"

"Sounds good. I'll treat."

"Thanks, but I-"

"Clark, stop it. Let me spoil you."

The Joker looked from one man to another in shock, as Batman took both of Clark's hands in his own. They were dating!? Well, in hind sight, he supposed that he shouldn't be so surprised with how they gravitated toward one another. 

"No." Superman said, crossing his burly arms over that big chest of his with a grin.

"Yes." Batman made his rebuttal with a smirk of his own.

 **Oh** , so they had one of _those_ kinds of relationships, did they? It was sickeningly sweet; but, the Joker would be lying if he said that he wasn't envious. Those fleeting touches from both men always made him dream of having some of that for himself. But, he knew better than to even think of asking for it. For them to invite him into their lives with open arms, no questions asked and with a blank slate, was everything. How could he possibly ask for more?

Besides, he had a job to do. He couldn't let his needs blind him to everything he was trying to protect; he would save this world, even if the world never cared enough to return the favor. And that wasn't the only thing he would be saving, here.

"Oh, just let him spoil you already, Flyboy! Quit being too good for Brucie's money! I know I'm not, **hahahaaa**! Say, can we go somewhere where there's chocolate?"

Batman stared ahead, thinking for a moment, before smiling slightly, "I know just the place."

The Joker's mouth dropped open as a piece of chocolate cake covered in gold flecks was placed in front of him.

"Bruce, he should eat his dinner, first. You're spoiling his appetite."

The other man offered a half-hearted shrug, as he sipped his 1909 Pinot.  The Joker's cells were stable.  This was cause to celebrate, so why not indulge the colorful man?  Clark, on the other hand, feared that the clown was stuffing that cake down so quick that he would choke. But, the jester could always be counted on to come up for air at least long enough to flirt.

"Oh, _trust_ me, Clarky-Clark. Bruce could never spoil **my** appetite, _hmhmhm_ ~"

A scandalous sweep of green eyes was enough to get any man's motor going. But, they weren't here for that; such exchanges would have to wait. For now, they had a clown to question. He nodded to Clark, who also took up his own wine, taking a sip to steel himself.

"Did you enjoy your cake?" Bruce asked.

" _Mm **hm**_ ~"

"Good. Now, we'd like a little something in return; answers."

" _Ooo_ , going for the bold approach, are we?! Why, I wouldn't expect anything less from Gotham's Dark Knight, **ha**!" the harlequin said, licking the dark cream from his spoon, while raising an eyebrow in thought. "Okay, shoot! But, just like I only had half a chance of getting this cake, **_you_** only have half a chance of getting what you're asking for!"

"Understood. Where exactly did you come from?"

"Earth 749."

"Earth- there's that many of them?" Clark said, blinking in surprise.

"Billions more. Hey, can we get a milkshake over here!? Make it strawberry!"

Clark went to stop him, only for Bruce to hold up a hand, his eyes never leaving the Joker's. The clown was keeping it together so well, but Batman had spent enough time with his own Joker to know what the tightening of his smile at the corners and that dark glimmer in his gaze meant. This was a complex mind under great duress. If he needed sweets to soothe him enough to talk about the things he knew, so be it; every man had his drug.

"Why did you come here?" Clark said, getting a question of his own in.

"To save this world."

"Why?" Bruce said, knowing that a Joker would have no business caring about such a thing. 

The Joker took a long drag off of his strawberry milk shake, before fiddling with the straw and staring into the milky concoction as he finally confessed something that would change everything.

"Because it's the last one left."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Well, looks like they finally got an answer out of the clown. It's probably not one they expected or wanted. Now, things will get real.
> 
> Also, congrats to the folks who guessed that something was already going on between Bruce and Clark! You were absolutely right! And Joker is beginning to realize that he needs a new game plan, thus the confession of what he knows. But, you bet when this is all over, Clark is going to hear it from the clown prince of crime. He was seeing Bruce this whole time and yet, let him think that he and Lois were possibly a thing!? Oh, he's gonna get it! XD 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all have a great day! =)


	10. Cake and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Joker gets his cake, the heroes get answers and their all making plans.

"The last world-" Clark breathed in shock.

"-Left." Joker confirmed, sighing heavily, before pushing back some of his more rebellious, green locks.

Bruce could see the signs. The thousand yard stare, the rigid posture, the perspiration appearing on the clown's forehead; these were all signs of trauma manifesting itself. A Joker with PTSD? Bruce didn't know what happened to this man before he ended up here, but he was getting a pretty good idea and it wasn't pretty.

The Joker started when he felt something touch him. When he looked down, he found that Bruce had reached over and closed a hand over his own. Soon, he felt Clark taking his other hand. He looked from one of their faces to the other. What did he find there? Compassion. 

How long had it been since someone looked at him like he was a person and not just another problem to solve? The Joker couldn't help it; something in him broke. His evergreen eyes filled up with tears.

"Do you want to go somewhere more private?" Bruce asked softly.

"No, I'll.. I'll be fine." he said, withdrawing his hands long enough to paw at his eyes.

Once he managed to steady himself, he took the other men's hands again, pulling a deep breath in, before sighing out slowly. Bruce's firm grip and the way that Clark thumb brushed over his skin in gentle, soothing motions eased his troubled mind. It felt so good to be there with them; such a small thing that the world, no matter which one, so often took for granted.

"I _can't_ tell you everything." he stated as fact.

"You don't have to tell us right now." Clark said, empathy clenching his heart in a vice grip.

" _ **Mm**_ , that's sweet of you, Clarky-Clark. But, that's not the way this works. I can't tell you everything, but I'll do what I can. I mean, I get it. You boys have concerns. Probably worried that this little marble floating in space will be the next one to go, **ha**!"

" _Will_ it?" Bruce asked.

"Not as long as you boys let me do my job, it won't."

"What is your job, exactly, Joker?" Clark inquired as gently as he could.

He turned his eyes away from them, silent for a few moments more, deciding just how much he could reveal without making everything collapse.

"Damage control."

"So, you're crisis management?" Bruce supplied.

"Yep! My job's to keep this world from blowing up long enough to get the other universes back up and running."

"You mean, they can be saved?" Clark asked hopefully.

"More like.. _restored_. Let's put it that way."

"Is that why you were trying to keep me away from Lois?"

The Joker froze for a moment, before sighing and giving a sheepish smile.

"Looks like I've been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Yes. I'll admit it. One of the things on my check list was stopping you from wedding that Miss-I-stick-my-nose-into-other-people's-business!"

"So, in other universes-"

"That's right, Supey! You're _banging_ Lois Lane! **Hey!** Wait a minute! I've been chasing you around for weeks now to make sure that you weren't canoodling that girl and you've been seeing Brucie this _whole_ **time**!? Why, I outta-"

That's when the Joker began hitting Clark with his menu, drawing a chuckle out of the other men and easing the heaviness all around. Finally, the clown relented.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me, Flyboy!?"

"Well, guess I just liked your attention is all." Clark confessed, "Besides, I.. get lonely sometimes, since Bruce is always in Gotham, taking care of things.  I was worried that if you knew, that you'd leave. It's nice having you around, Joker."

"Clark." the Joker uttered with wide eyes.

Those beautiful blue eyes were nothing but, sincere and that wholesome smile that could melt ice cream on a warm, summer's day threatened to thaw his own cold heart.

"Why was keeping Clark from falling in love with Lois so important?" Bruce inquired, snapping the clown out of the almost hypnotic state Superman put him in.

The Joker almost said something, only to shut his mouth and really think about his answer. It was so odd to see a man who was so talkative and upfront with everything having to choose his words so carefully. Was it really that dangerous for them to know the truth?

"Can't answer that. But, I can say that Supes not loving that Lane girl is the best news I've gotten since I was dropped off here! Makes my job so much easier, **ha**!"

"Can we help in any way?" Clark asked.

Bruce nodded in agreement. This was a life or death situation for everyone on the planet. They were part of the Justice League. Their job was to safeguard the Earth at all costs.

" **Hmm.** "

They leaned forward.

" _Nope!"_ the clown declared blithely, almost taking a sadistic pleasure in how they eased back, disappointed, "Wait, no. There is one thing you can do."

They once again postured in anticipation.

"Just carry on as usual! Oh and getting me another piece of **cake** would help a lot!"

"No more cake." Bruce said, firmly, displeased at having been lead on and ready to lay down the punishment for it, "Like Clark said, you'll ruin your dinner."

"Oh, I knew you were just **buttering** me up! You heroic types are all alike! Feed me cake, get what you want, then make me eat broccoli!- Why are you both _looking_ at me like that!?"

The Joker's outrage was adorable. How could he not know that he was precious? And on top of that, he was a villain turned reluctant hero. And if there was something Bruce and Clark believed in, it was positive reinforcement. That begged the question; could this man be swayed to the good side, permanently?

While the clown continued his tirade, Bruce and Clark exchanged looks. There was a silent understanding between them. The clown prince had his mission, but they also had plans of their own. This Joker may belong to another world, but they both wanted him for themselves; they were going to make this Joker, **_theirs_**. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Sorry that the posts are getting farther and fewer in between! I just started a new job and it is really taking it out of me! 0.0 But, I think I am at least starting to adjust to the new schedule! I mean, I managed to get a post out, so that's some progress, at least! XD
> 
> Ohhh boy! Clark hasn't connected the dots, yet. He can't imagine that he would destroy the world or become a tyrant who rules over it. But, Joker knows better than anyone else to never underestimate anyone; all it takes is one bad day. I think Bruce knows, but is not saying what he believes he understands to be the truth. Some things are better kept to one's self, for his lover's sake. Although, some things are better shared! Like the Joker, cough, cough. XD Okay, I'm just gonna leave that thought there. XD
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments, below!
> 
> Thanks and have a fantastic day! =)


	11. Reasonable Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has his doubts.

"He's _Joker_. He could be lying."

"He's _a_ Joker. You said it yourself; he's not like the one from here, so it's wrong to distrust him without being given a cause."

A moment of silence passed between them, before Superman sighed and broke off his gaze, conceding to the skepticism lingering in the other man's eyes.

"Alright, let's say that he is pulling our leg. Let's say that he came from an Earth where everything is perfectly fine. Let's say that all of the other Earth's are fine, too, and he is just messing with us. What would he have to gain?"

"He is a _Joker_ , Clark." Bruce said, putting more emphasis on the words in hopes that he might get through to the other hero, "He doesn't need to have a reason for things. Fantasy over logic; whims over reason. He lies because he can. He kills because, to him, it's funny. I've seen-"

"That's the whole **problem** , Bruce! You're judging this Joker by what you know about _your_ Joker!"

"He's not **MY** Joker!"

Clark was taken aback. It took a lot to rile the usually unflappable Dark Knight, but seeing him shout like that warranted investigation. Why was this such a soft spot for Bruce Wayne? Why did he so despise the idea of being in any way associated with the other clown prince of crime, when he obviously had taken such a liking to this one?

"Bruce. Did something happe-"

"We need to keep an eye on him. That's all I'm saying. We also have to keep a close eye on his friend."

Superman sighed; leave it to Bruce to change the topic- wait a minute.

" _What_ friend?"

"Joker's are intelligent but, rely mostly on their natural aptitude for traps, tricks and chemicals."

"-Not on their ability to build an inter-dimensional travel gadget." the man of steel finished, earning a nod from a thankfully now much calmer Batman.

"However he got here, he didn't do it alone."

The Joker carefully shut the window, before digging for his journal amongst his sheets. He made a few quick scratches.

_They're onto us._

A few moments later, a blue ink bled onto the page below the clown's handwriting.

**Abort.**

The clown prince bit his bottom lip.

_I told them things. Things I thought they should know._

**What _kind_ of things?**

_That this is the last Earth._

The book went quiet. He nibbled his finger nails. He shouldn't have told them. He knew how important this mission was. He stood to lose everything all over again. It was kind of funny; he didn't know how much he had in his old life until he saw it all disappear right before his eyes. It really put things into prospective.

Perhaps that was how he was able to feel a simple happiness that had been missing before. Yes, life could suck and everyone was going to die someday. That hadn't changed. The joke was still alive and well; but, that didn't mean he had to be the one telling it. As ink bled onto the page a new, the Joker jumped and leaned closely forward to read every word before they even had a chance to dry.

**Looks like this version of Batman and Superman are willing to listen to reason, since you weren't locked up by now.**

_I think so. I want to stay and keep an eye on them. It's better than to trying hiding now. They'd just come find me, anyways._

**Okay. But, if you feel in danger, contact me and I'll extract you. Be safe, Joker.**

_Thanks, squirt!_

The clown prince sighed in relief, clutching the book to his chest. He couldn't just cut out just because they were close to knowing everything. He only got one shot at this. This was his only chance to make things right. The pale man sighed as he flopped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, dully.

"You'd think the kiddo would get it by now; I don't care what happens to me." he muttered with a tight smile, "I can't let what happened to those two ever happen again."

He rolled over, so that his back was facing the doorway just in time for Bruce and Clark to silently open the door and make their way in.  His eyes opened once he heard the bedroom door close.  He would never be the people's chosen hero; not that he ever wanted to be in the first place. But, he was the hero of the heroes, whether they knew it or not.  Because to _this_ Joker, some things were worth saving. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ Sorry that it's been a while and that this chapters short. My new job is kicking my butt, lol!
> 
> Anywho, I think that the next chapter, we will be getting more into one of the dangers the Joker is suppose to be protecting against. Let's just say that while the Joker has been preparing for it, to stop this event will be easier said than done, since he is fighting against the stream of this world's timeline. So, there's that to look forward to, if everything goes to plan! 
> 
> Anyways, have a great day, everyone! See you next chapter! ^^


	12. Boxed In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker faces the first threat to the last world.

A gush of chilled wind swept by, causing a certain clown who was nice and cozy in his nest of blankets and pillows to stir. A tuft of forest-green hair stuck itself out of the heap, followed by a set of equally green eyes. Clark felt a smile creep onto his face. The day may have been rainy and cold outside, but his mood couldn't help, but to brighten when presented with the sight of a sleepy Joker.

"Good morning."

"Mm." the clown muttered, before painstakingly pulling himself from the mattress.

He took the covers with him to avoid the chill in the air, sporting them almost like a fluffy cape. Clark huffed a laugh, before holding out the first cup of coffee for the clown, making it just the way he knew he liked it. He sipped at his own cup leisurely, while taking a seat on one of the bar stools. It didn't take long for the Joker to join him, almost missing the chair in his state of sleepiness.

"Easy there." the man of steel said, as he supported the other man.

"Mm." he muttered once more as he settled, nursing his coffee in both hands with bags under his eyes.

"And I thought Bruce was a bad morning person."

"Did Bats go home?"

"Yeah.  He got a call from Nightwing and had to get back to Gotham before sunrise."

The Joker didn't miss the way Superman's face subtly fell, before he picked it back up.  Bruce was right; Clark was all heart.  He put up with a certain Dark Knight's neglect, much like a certain clown once did.  For being so different, the clown prince found it amazing how much they had in common.  However, whereas the Joker would fuse about such neglect and wreak chaos in retribution, the Kryptonian sucked it up.  The entire world was lucky he took such a reserved approach to the injustice of being put last on everyone's list.  

"That's Bats for you! Always running off to save the day- er, night! Say, has that ever happened during sex?"

A spray of liquid bursting out of the hero beside him, made the Joker howl with laughter.

"J-Joker!"

"Oh, come now, Clarky-Clark! How could I resist!? You make it so easy- _heheheheeee_!"

Superman shook his head at the man who was now wide awake and practically in tears. But, soon, his attention was captured by the clock.

"Oh, gosh. I'm going to be late, if I don't get moving. See you later, Joker. And hey-"

"Hm?"

"Behave yourself."

"Oh, I will! Scouts honor!"

Clark stared at the other man a few moments, not sure how much he should trust that mock innocent smile of his, but duty called and wouldn't wait a moment longer. He had to keep a roof over their heads, after all. So, he zipped out the door, leaving the clown prince alone to his own devices.

The moment he was certain that Clark had left the building, the mischievous man opened the lid to the cookie jar on the counter and began eating with abandon.

"One cookie after dinner, he says! **Ha**!"

The rebellious breakfast was followed up by a binging of mindless, morning cartoons. The apartment was filled with snickers at Bug's Bunny's antics.

"Oh, Looney Tunes! Always a classic!"

Just then, however, something caught his attention. He fished his now glowing notebook out from under his blankets, only for it to burst open! A repeating pattern scrawled all over the page in a desparate S.O.S.

**MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03**   
**MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03**   
**MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03 MAYDAY, 3:03**

The Joker fumbled for a pen.

_Event?_

**PRIME**

" _Oh_ , **shit!** "

The Joker tore through the flat, crashing into walls, as he struggled to get dressed, falling on his face as he tried to hop into the pants of his skinny, pinstripe suit. Finally, the clown burst out of the door, just in time to come face to face with a woman in a pink hat, who took one look at him, before she pointed and started screaming. She promptly followed that up with a slap to the face, leaving the clown in the midst of confusion as she retreated down the hall to her own abode. The clown blinked in shock for a moment, before glancing down and realizing what had offended the woman's delicate sensibilities; his fly was undone.

" **Jeez-** _Louise!_ Another thing I hate about Metropolis. It's chocked full of **prudes**! It's up, lady, are you happy now!? Oh, wait. _Prime!_ I've got no time for this! I've got to get to that freak, before he gets to Superman!"

The Joker pushed up his sleeve to reveal a purple watch. A few taps on the screen and what was once a simple device became a highly advanced, miniature, super computer. A light began blinking on the screen, making a beeline for the White House, of all places.

"Oh, for the love of- Hope this thing's got enough juice!"

The clown prince found his way to the roof.  A few slides and taps on the interface and a robotic voice sounded out,

"Transport. imminent."

The Joker held perfectly still, shutting his eyes just in time to be whisked through time and space. After he came out of the warp, he shook his head to rid himself of the fuzzy feeling and tried to get his bearings. It didn't take long after he righted himself to find his target. Streaking across the sky was a figure with nothing but, bad intentions. Other than that, the resemblance was uncanny. If Joker didn't know any better, he would say that this was the Superman he had become familiar with; good thing he knew better.

"I have him on radar. He is on route to the White House-" J'onn said, before pausing and blinking in confusion, "How strange."

"What is it, J'onn?" Clark asked, pressing one hand to his com, as he and ten members of the Justice League sped toward the threat that had appeared on their planet.

"The one calling himself Superman Prime is gone."

Gone?" Wonder Woman asked, equally confused.

"He.. disappeared."

Clark entered his apartment a few hours later. There hadn't been any sign of the foe they had been meant to face, no matter how hard they looked. In the end, there was nothing left for them to do but, to disband and wait for news. And what was the first thing he saw when he entered his flat? None other a tuft of green sticking out of the covers.

"I don't know what I was so worried about." he muttered, as he shrugged off his coat and hung it by a hook near the door, "How can Joker possibly get into any trouble, when he takes all these cat naps?"

Joker opened his eyes once he was sure Clark was in the shower. Slowly, he clasped his arm just below where he was nursing a fresh burn wound. A smile appeared on his lips, in spite of his pain. Under the covers, the box wiggled frantically, before going still, causing him to snicker softly through his smile that stretched ever wider.

"Lights out, killer Clark."

The clown prince shifted enough to grab a pen, before nudging his notebook close enough to write;

_Superman Prime - eliminated._

**Good job. You okay, Joker?**

_Never better, kiddo!_

**You're lying, aren't you?**

The Joker sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. For a 5th dimensional being, Bat-Mite was surprisingly perceptive when the Joker, a human, wasn't shooting straight with him. But, then again, after all of their time together, he would be shocked if the other couldn't tell when he was lying.

_It's just a burn. He managed to get me with those flashy laser eyes of his, right before I boxed em. I'll be up and at em again in no time!  So, don't worry your pretty, little head about moi!  I'll be just fine._

He shut the book after that, making a clear show that the subject of him being wounded was no longer up for debate. The Joker stuffed the book and the box back under his pillow, before adjusting his arm, trying to get comfortable as he allowed his tired eyes to slip closed.

"One threat down; one million and one to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ Managed to get another chapter up! 
> 
> Joker finally faced his first threat to the last world! Yes, our Joker beat Superman Prime; THE Superman Prime. Yes, our Joker is OP. XD No, but seriously, without Bat-Mite's little box, he would have been toast. Still, even with the box, his work is risky business! Now, our clown has a boo-boo to hide from Supes and Bats! Will he succeed? With how poor Joker is at caring for his wounds? Do you even have to ask? XD 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all have a great day! ^^ See you in the next chapter! =)


	13. Promise Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker's booboo is discovered and he makes the two heroes promise him one thing.

"I called about Joker."

Clark rolled his eyes. Bruce never was one for small talk, was he?

"He's here, if that's what you mean." Clark said, before moving into the privacy of his bedroom, "But, he's not acting like himself, lately."

"How so?"

"He's more.. subdued. He's sleeping a lot more, too. At first, I thought he'd caught a cold or something, since he is running a fever, but he insists that he's fine-"

"I'll be right over."

Superman blinked in surprise.

"Do you think that's really necessary?"

"The Joker would say he's fine, even if he had an arrow through his head."

"Speaking from experience?"

Bruce was silent on the other line for a moment, confirming what Clark already knew.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Don't let him out of your sight."

"Why?"

"Because if he has any idea that he is going to be medically treated, he will get out of there faster than-"

Clark peeked around the corner, only to double take.

"Bruce, he's gone."

"Find him."

Clark wasted no time. A blur streaked out of the apartment complex. The moment he exited the building, it was Superman who was standing in Kent's stead, tall and strong, as he scanned the horizon with his x-ray vision, looking for anything even remotely Joker-shaped; the toy store!

"Bingo."

But, once he dug through the pile of teddy bears, there was nothing.

"Huh."

A lemonade stand, the bushes in the park, the museum of abstract art; every time Clark zeroed in on his target, he miraculously disappeared! The Joker was tricky. But, surely not _this_ tricky. In fact, if Clark didn't know any better, he would almost say that in order to pull something like this off, the pale man would have had to be on par with a meta-human. But, that wasn't possible, so- _**There!** _A flash of purple and green! He had him now-

"Gone _again_!? How on Earth is that man-"

"Got em."

Superman whipped around just in time to see Batman seize the clown prince of crime by his waist, drawing him close to his armored body to keep him from wiggling away.

"Wow, good job." Clark said with a boyish grin, "How did you-"

"I know Jokers." he simply said, as she heaved his quarry up over one shoulder, holding the fidgety clown, who was as sour as a lemon from losing their little game of hide and seek.

"Bats, put me **down**! I'm _fine_!  Really! I don't need any doctoring! **Honest**!"

"Yeah, uh-huh. Sure." Bruce said, as he made his way to the Batmobile, a bright and sunny Superman following close behind.

"Don't you think this is a bit much, boys?" the Joker said, chuckling nervously as the two men cornered him in the Batcave.

"Joker, if you'd just cooperate, this will be over in a few minutes." Batman said flatly.

"And we can go for ice cream afterwards!" Superman said, trying to sweeten the deal.

" **No**! Get your grabby hands away from me or I'll.. I'll-"

"Joker-" Superman said, as he flew a little closer, daring to close his hands over the harlequin's fists, lowering them as he stared into the other man's eyes with those sky blue orbs of his and uttered, "Please. Let us help you."

Green eyes burned hot with indignation at the heroes' gall. How dare he use those puppy dog eyes and that slight pout from that absolutely magnificent, chiseled jaw on him!? As if that wasn't bad enough, Batman, who seemed to have caught on to his weakness, stepped up to the plate to dump his own brand of temptation into the mix.

Down came the cowl. Sky blue was contrasted by an intense, stormy sapphire, as rich as a king's bounty. Instead of a pleading pout, that jaw set firm, as the owner of it took hold of both the jester's gaze, as well as his chin as he said in a deep voice that set him to shivering,

"Be a good boy for us, Joker."

That broke the last shred of resistance in him. Sexiness had a way of winning over secrets. 

"Damn you both." Joker muttered with a pout of his own, before he finally raised his hands in surrender to let them start disrobing him.

Before they got to his pants, which the clown felt some remorse over, they found what they were looking for.

"My God." 

The Joker didn't look at Bruce. He refused. When the _dark knight_ was shocked, you knew you were in for it. But, if he thought that Batman was the one he had to look out for, he couldn't have been more wrong. Hands were on him before he knew it; they gripped his forearms with the force of a steel vice.

"What the Hell **happened**!?"

The clown's mouth fell open in shock; he had never seen the happy-go-lucky, farm boy from Smallville look so angry.

"Clark-" Bruce tried, as he touched the heroes' shoulder, only to get shrugged off.

" **No**! He should have told us! Is that why you've been nursing this side?! You're acting like you're fine when you've got a hole blown through you!? How did you even get this!? **_How_**!?"

Sky blue bled into ruby brilliance. Joker froze from the sight.

"Clark, **stop** **it**!"

Bruce's demand finally snapped the man of steel out of it, just in time to see what his reaction was doing to the clown prince of crime. The man was staring at him like he was seeing his own death. Hands released him, leaving perfect indentations in the form of fresh bruising.

"Joker, I'm-"

"I know you don't mean it, Clarky-Clark." the clown murmured, turning away from the two men, hanging his head sadly, "I know that you're only mad because you care; it's sweet, really. **Ha** , touches me down in the deepest, darkest, most malicious sludge pit that is my heart!"

The man spared a glance over his shoulder at the vulnerable looking do-gooders, sparing a small smile, before once again facing the wall, his shadow looming large against the stone.

"But, you should know that when I signed up for this, I knew full well what I was getting into; that I was going to be bruised, mutilated and destroyed. I told you; I came to this world to save it."

"So, you're willing to make a _martyr_ of yourself just to-"

" **Yes** , damn it!" 

The new fury in the clown's voice and the way he whipped around to face them, silenced them. He turned on his heels and advanced on them, his hands digging into the 'S' of Superman's suit, as he dragged the man close to his face.

"What do you think this is, **huh**!? A _joke_!? Does it _look_ like I'm **laughing**!? Well, does it, boys!?"

He released the blue fabric, shoving back from Clark, before standing there, his fists clenched and his body trembling in silent rage. Or, was it fear? Or perhaps, it was a mix of both.

"I've seen things you wouldn't believe. I've seen.. I've seen worlds _shatter_ like Christmas ornaments knocked off the tree by a temperamental cat! I've seen countless versions of you, me and him **die**! Sometimes, for no good reason, at all. There wasn't even any punchline! Just, _poof_ , **gone**. There are one million and one ways that the Earth could go kablewie and I'm stopping every single one of them! I'm not going to let what happened that day, _ever_ happen again!"

Tears streaked down the clown's face, which he paused long enough to paw at. But, they wouldn't stop coming.

"I don't care what it takes. I don't care what it costs. I'm going to **save** you! I'm going to save everyone on this pathetic, little mud ball we call Earth! So, _please_ , don't make my job any harder than it already is. I was never made to be a hero, boys. I'm just a clown who wants a reason to keep on smiling-"

And that's when it happened. Suddenly, he found himself enveloped by two warm, strong bodies. The dam broke. The Joker buried his face into Bruce's chest and started balling. Strong arms closed tighter around him from both sides.

"You say that you're the hero of this world." Bruce began softly, the rumble of his voice soothing the clown's tremors a bit, " **Fine**. Then, let us be _your_ heroes."

The Joker's green eyes turned up to look Batman in the eyes; those beautiful, deep blue eyes.

"Joker, we _care_ about you." Clark said, soothing a hand over the other's ruffled locks, "We want to help you. We want to be there for you. Will you let us?"

Forest green then found sky blue. He seemed to be weighing his options. The offer was more than tempting, yet, he hesitated. Why? What was the man who knew no fear, afraid of?

"Only.. if you promise me just one thing."

"Yes?"

"That you'll.. kiss my booboos to make them better."

That actually got a smile out of both men. Before he knew it, he had two pairs of lips on him, one set of super-lips gently kissing the top of his shoulder, just above where the wound rested and bat-lips resting against his own. Joker moaned helplessly into their attentions, his will power made obsolete. Although, in the back of his mind, what he really wanted to say still lingered, like echoes in the dark;

_Promise me that you won't become the very thing that I'm fighting against._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ Another day, another chapter! 
> 
> Joker doesn't believe he is suited for the role of the hero. But, what he doesn't understand is that being a hero is not about the costumes or the backstories. Being a hero is a choice. A choice he is making. So, whether he believes it or not, he is suited for this role. What is especially telling is that Bruce and Clark are willing to trust and support him. 
> 
> But, he is scared that he is making a bad choice. He is getting even closer to this situation than he wanted to. Because, as I am sure you can imagine, some of the threats the world could potentially face are the heroes, themselves. For Joker's sake, let's hope that doesn't happen.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed and I also hope that you have a fantastic day! ^^


	14. A Dream Come True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - SMEXY CONTENT AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
> 
> Summary - One of the Joker's dreams come true.

It was late; the Joker had been dosed, bandaged and cleaned with the utmost of care. Powerful arms of steel closed gently around his prone form. He felt lighter than air, as he was carried bridal style upstairs, just like in the movies. But, unlike those love scenes, all the Joker could do was eat his heart out. His soul sank with the understanding that once they had tucked him soundly into bed, they would go their separate ways.

In spite of the smoking hot kisses from earlier, these two men were already in a committed relationship. It wasn't hard to see that they cared for one another, even if the way they expressed it was much subtler than a traditional love affair. Bruce was constantly opening his wallet, trying to shower the man who had everything but, wealth with anything his heart desired, while a man who could shatter worlds tried to get the emotionally deplete billionaire to open up to him, so that he might soothe some of his more deeply rooted wounds.

It was a good match; two handsome men who complimented each other nicely. They went together like salt and pepper. So, who was he to break that up? Like he would. Like he _could_. After all, he was just a Joker. 

A clown who had seen as much as he had could understand that he wasn't the center of the story like he once imagined himself to be. There was no point in trying to steal the show or be the center of attention. He had a part to play; nothing more, nothing less. So, why bother trying to flip the script?

That being said, there were some truths he just had to accept. In spite of his status as savior, in the big scheme of things, he wasn't that important;. He was only here for a yawn in time. He was resigned to his fate and would go about it as gracefully as he could. He would sacrifice himself, if it meant this world could keep going like it was just any other day. He would give it all, if it meant that Bruce and Clark could be happy; even though _he_ suspected that _he_ never would.

But, for just one moment, he could pretend. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his head against Clark's strong chest, taking comfort in his warmth. Bruce's footsteps could be heard ahead of them as he lead them through the dimly lit manor. Perhaps, for just a moment, he could imagine that they all lived here, together. That they loved him as much as he had come to love them. That he was the native Joker in this world and that life had lead him down a more merciful path.

Just then, his back touched a downy-soft mattress. He opened his weary eyes with a soft sigh to face reality in all of her vindictive glory. But, oddly enough, the thing he was dreading most hadn't happened.

"Wh-?"

Taking note of his surroundings said it all; this was no guest room. The four poster, king-sized bed, crafted of rich mahogany with gold leafing, the tastefully done crown molding, the peek of an extremely luxurious, marble themed bathroom- This was the Master bedroom; this was _Bruce's_ bedroom.

The knowledge of where he was sent a jolt to the system of the once sleepy man. As the other two men went about their business, unabashed in their various states of nudity, the Joker was unsure whether he should close his eyes out of respect or stare blatantly, luminous eyes glowing green with want; the later impulse won out.

However, when Clark caught him staring, raising an eyebrow at him, the Joker finally slammed a hand down over his eyes, biting his bottom lip to stop a stream of flustered giggles from escaping. Superman rolled his eyes, before nudging Bruce, who caught onto where his boyfriend was looking. A smirk formed on his face, complimenting Clark's amused smile. They both nodded at the same time, before making their way to the Joker, who was desperately fighting for control of himself.

"You're being such a good boy, Joker." Clark crooned into his ear, as he sank down onto the mattress, "You can look at us, if you want."

"I-I don't think I should- _heheheheeee!~_ "

" **I** think you should." Bruce stated matter of factly, as he took Joker's hands by the wrist and lowered them away from the pale man's eyes.

An open invitation was too far too much to resist. The Joker was trying to be a saint, but he would always be a sinner at heart. Hungry eyes swept over the Dark Knight's muscled form, before dragging along the man of steel's. Bruce was wearing a trim pair of black boxer shorts, while Clark was sporting a pair of blue briefs; their selections made sense, concerning their choice in costumes. Though, that was a moot point. The sight was thrilling, of course, but he was always a man who wanted more.

"Don't suppose I could talk you boys out of your tighty-whities?" dared the clown, a devious smile creeping onto his face.

The clown's deep chuckle threw a spark into the furnace of the other men's libidos.

"I'm sure you could." Clark said with a charming, boyish grin, "But, you don't have to. We'll take them off for you."

" _After_ we get you out of yours." Bruce added firmly, before he brushed down the other's side, allowing the clown prince to feel the strength behind his calloused hand.

The caress set the Joker to shivering violently and moaning. Bruce went slow, giving the clown every opportunity to refuse them. But, all that came from those pliable lips were small, soft sounds that were more than enough encouragement.

"He's so sensitive." Clark remarked softly, "Maybe we're his first?"

Bruce grunted in agreement to the suggestion, before curling a finger into the other's polka-dotted shorts, eliciting a gasp out of the Joker as he was freed.

"Not- _ah!_ A virgin! Just haven't done this in a while!" the clown said, propping himself up on his elbows, as both men began lavishing kisses on his neck.

"How long?" Batman asked in between nips.

The Joker stared up at the ceiling, having to contemplate for a while. A bite to his shoulder, right above his wound by an impatient Bat, who wanted the truth, not pretty lies and an apologetic, suckling kiss from Clark on his other was a combination that set  him to keening and pried an answer from his lips.

"Five hundred years!"

All activity around him stopped, as the other men had to pause long enough to process the words that had come out of the pale man's mouth.

"Five hundred-?" Clark began.

"Years." Joker confirmed with a nod and an honest gleam drifting to the surface of his lusty eyes.

"Is that how long you've been preparing to save this world?" Bruce asked.

"Just about that long- **_Woah_ _!_ **_Easy_ , boys, **ha**! You act like you're going to eat me alive!"

A frenzy had over taken the two heroes who were lavishing him with attention. It was as if they'd been possessed by the spirit of some amorous deity, who was seeking to overpower him with sensation.

" _A-Ah_! **Ohhh!** H-ha! _Bruce!_ Mmm- **Clark**!"

The Joker may not have known what had come over the men who were overloading his senses, but unbeknownst to him, a swell of a rare emotion swept them; **adoration**. They didn't know how he had lived so long. That wasn't the point. It was the fact that this man who had once tried to destroy everything that humanity stood for, having gotten the short end of the stick, was now standing for it. He had willingly spent five hundred long years trying to save everyone on Earth. If that wasn't worthy of praise, Batman and Superman didn't know what was.

"B- **Boys**! Slow down! I'm gonna-!"

His pale back arched languidly, like a bow being pulled taunt, as he came with a cry of ecstasy. Bruce and Clark both blinked in surprise. Meanwhile, the Joker hid his face in the sheets.

"Joker-" Bruce began.

" **No**."

"Joker-" Clark tried.

" _No_."

The clown was beyond embarrassed. They had barely **done** anything, yet! But, even if the Joker was beside himself, the two heroes were not discouraged. In fact, the adorable way he was trying to hide was making them want him all the more.

"Suit yourself, Joker. Clark."

The man of steel nodded, before clamping his mouth down on a pert nipple, earning a squawk of surprise from the jester as said man came up for air. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

" _ **What?**_ ** _!_** You're just gonna keep on _going_!? My bruised ego be **damned**!?"

"That's the idea." Bruce said as he leaned back to watch the show with a devilish smirk.

The Joker wanted to curse them both to the best of his ability, as his cheeks blazed red; that is until he felt Clark's hand moving south. It didn't take long for the forest-green eyes to flutter closed with the touch. In the end, he decided it wasn't worth the fuss. He finally flopped back with a resigned groan. That earned him a few Clark-kisses to the cheek.

"Don't worry, Jo." the man of steel said affectionately,"We'll help you get back in practice."

A few more kisses were planted here and there, making the pale man crack a self deprecating grin.  He finally swallowed down the awkwardness and allowed himself to enjoy the process. He supposed it helped to know that they weren't belittling him. In fact, they were looking at him like he was a decadent piece of cake.

It boggled the mind, but people liked what they liked; a fact punctuated when Bruce stopped enjoying the eye candy in front of him and went in for a few long licks, no longer able to resist. The Joker shuddered and whined wantonly. Who was he to tell them they were wrong?

The morning sun came up over the horizon. As the light warmed the room, filtering in through the sheer, silk curtains; a slender body was revealed to be tucked in between two strong, warm ones. Yes, there, in the bed of Bruce Wayne slumbered the utterly spoiled and thoroughly ravished clown prince of crime, who wore nothing but, a smile. He knew this happiness was fleeting, but for now, he would stay in the moment for as long as he could, blissful in the knowledge that some dreams do come true.

However, as the Joker slept, all the way in Metropolis, a certain someone else was very much awake and he wasn't living a dream; he was facing a nightmare. The book under the sheets trembled, before flying open, casting the folds of fabric aside. The fresh page began to fill with frantic strokes of ink.

**Three events erased; new ones created! Consequences; unknown.**

**Joker, what have you _done_!?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ Been a while since I've posted. Sorry about that. Work is kicking my can! Hard to write when you can barely keep your eyes open, you know? But, I think that is the story with a lot of creatives trying to make ends meet. XD
> 
> Anywho, Joker finally got something he wished for and never thought he could have! Sometimes, dreams really do come true! ^^


	15. Two Jokers, One Deck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark faces some personal problems and comes to a startling conclusion.

Clark Kent was many things; he was a good son, a good man and a good hero. But, first and foremost, once out of his red cape and blue tights, he was a salary man. It was why he was fully dressed and adjusting his perfectly knotted tie at the crack of dawn, while the rest of the world slept on.

Before he took the final steps out of the room, a groan was heard behind him, causing him to steal a glance over his shoulder. In his absence, the Joker had rolled over a bit, his head landing on Bruce's strong chest. One of those calloused hands had protectively looped over the clown's waist, painting such a heart-warming picture. Clark smiled, before he eased out of the room.

A knock sounded at the door. Bruce sat up, as if on reflex, causing the Joker to slide off with a mutter, before he grabbed onto Clark's pillow. The clown breathed deeply, before humming and easing back into a deep sleep right away, making Bruce huff in amusement. The knock came again, causing him to throw a glance at the clock nearby; it was already noon.

Bruce made sure they were both covered and decent, before calling, "Come in, Alfred."

In strolled the butler, wheeling a cart full of breakfast foods. Although, he blinked when he saw that there was something missing from his charge's bed. But, that look didn't take long to melt into his usual, schooled expression of polished professionalism.

"I see that Master Clark has evaded me once again and opted to skip out on the most important meal of the day."

"It's nothing personal.  He had to be at work by eight." Bruce said as he received a cup of coffee from the aged man.

"If you say so, Master Bruce. However, if I may speak my mind, I do believe that it is time your paramour accepted his position in this household, as a kept man-"

" **Alfred**!"

"The sooner you make an honest man of Master Clark, the sooner I can ensure that his dietary needs are being met."

Bruce shook his head at the elder's audacity, but he couldn't help the small smile that creased the corner of his lips.

"I'll pass it on."

Alfred gave a skeptical snort, as he pulled the coverings off of the dishes. The scent of classical, gourmet food filled the room and quickly, the Joker's nose. A few murmurs were heard from the clown prince of crime, before he sat up, rubbing one eye and then the other, before glancing at the food; he did a double take.

" _Ooohoohoohoo!_ Looks like I lucked out, when I woke up in **this** bed!"

The Joker's blithe mood, however was quickly dampened, when he found himself under the scrutinizing eye of Alfred Pennyworth.

"Coffee, Master Joker?"

The clown prince swallowed hard. How was it that this gentleman's gentleman could make an offer of a nice, warm beverage sound like a death threat?

"S-Sure, **ha**."

The clown could hear the sloshing of the brew in the cup, as it was poured.  Awkward.

"Sugar? Creamer?"

"Yes, please."

Bruce shook his head in amusement at the ace of knaves putting on his best manners, while looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Stop intimidating him, Alfred."

"Intimidate? Me? **Never**. Although, I must say that the furnace downstairs could always use more kindling."

With that, the butler, who took his eyes off of the Joker only at the last possible second, left them to eat their breakfast in peace. Though, it was questionable if the clown would be able to eat much after that.

" _Jeez_ - **Louise** , Bats! Alf is one _scary_ hombre!  Was he a member of the mafia or something?!"

"No. A member of the royal intelligence agency of the U.K."

The Joker was shocked into silence for a moment; one of the men he liked had a Queen's watchdog as his butler.  He felt like his goose was cooked. Bruce smirked, before his smile softened at seeing the other man pout. Joker found himself handed a plate the other man made up for him.

"Cheer up. You should hear what he told Clark the first time he found him in my bed."

"What was it, Brucey?"

"Trust me." the man said with a thousand yard stare, after taking a sip of blackest brew, "You don't want to know."

While Bruce and the Joker were enjoying a somewhat leisurely morning, Clark Kent was having anything, but. He had lived among humans for most of his life now and he still found that there were some behaviors of theirs' that he couldn't understand. Like how bosses could lose their temper and take it out on one of their most faithful employees.

"This is **garbage** , Kent! I don't know where your head is at, but it sure ain't at work!"

"Sorry, Mr. White."

The chest fallen look caused the hard but, fair man to sigh heavily.

"Clark, you're a good reporter. But, your head isn't here lately. Don't think your heart has been, either. Not for a long time. So, I want you to take a leave of absence."

That caused Clark's panicked eyes to shoot back up to meet his bosses'.

"A _paid_ leave of absence, Kent. I'm not firing you. Not yet. Take a rest, walk the beaches, wine and dine some new acquaintance. I don't care what you do. But, by the time you step foot in this office again, I want _all_ of you to be here. Got it?"

Clark slowly rose from the chair. His legs rarely quivered, even while facing his fiercest of enemies. But, he had almost just lost his job, holding on by the skin of his teeth. All of the super powers in the world couldn't effect whether he was kept on or let go. That is what folks didn't understand; even _he_ had his weaknesses.

"I-I understand, Mr. White."

"Okay, then. Get it together, Kent. And get out of my office, until I say so."

Once back on the street, Clark ran a hand through his hair. He could have easily flown back to his apartment at break neck speeds, but he thought some walking would do him some good. With his hands stuffed into the pockets of his suit, he wandered the streets of Metropolis.

Perry was right. He hadn't been himself, lately. Was it the appearance of this new Joker? No, it started before that. His passion in his job had slowly dropped off. It had been fine when he was younger, working for peanuts and chasing stories, but now, it had just evolved into the same, old, dull routine.

He caught a glance of his reflection in a shop window. Slowly, he came to a stop to really look at it.  Carefully, he scanned over his appearance. He still looked young. Heck, he still _was_ young by some standards and it wasn't a stretch to think that he would look youthful well up into his fifties, being of Kryptonian DNA. He would even go so far as to say that he stilled looked as young as he did on his twentieth birthday. But, as he looked closer, he realized something was different, after all; his eyes.

They were the eyes of someone who had lived hard. The eyes of a person who had chosen a double life, pulling it off with a hearty amount of finesse. But, he wasn't perfect, was he? It was all a facade. Because underneath the mild-mannered Clark Kent's eye wear was a hero with the weight of the world on his shoulders; a hero who had come so close to buckling under the strain and loosing his mind. Yet, no one would know it to look at him. This was a side to him that only one person knew.

_Bruce._

The man so many assumed was a cold hard-ass was actually a hidden gem.  To Clark, Bruce was a wealth of understanding and a wellspring of empathy. He was a light in his darkness. He was able to soothe the fire within him that threatened to burn out of control, whenever he made a mistake or found fault within himself. Whereas everyone else expected perfection out of Superman, there was Batman, who knew that even the most well intending had their flaws. He knew that Clark wasn't perfect and loved him anyways and always.

He turned to look back at the Daily Planet once again and sighed. For the first time in his working life, he genuinely didn't want to go back. He didn't want to stay in this city full of lights and smiling faces. It all seemed to pale when he thought of where he really wanted to be; by Bruce's side.

Before he even realized it, he was back at his apartment, shoving essentials into a suitcase. Maybe this was a quarter-life crisis. The thought _had_ entered his mind. After all, what he was doing was impulsive. He was packing his bags with the expectation of staying with Bruce for a while, without even asking him first. Would he be welcomed into the reclusive man's world for more than just a few fleeting hours? He wouldn't know unless he tried.

Just then, however, something caught his attention. The sound of pages flipping. Clark rose an eyebrow when he used his x-ray vision to spy out a tiny diary rapidly turning its own pages. He joined the odd phenomenon in the living room.  No open windows, no wind.

"How on Earth?-"

**Superman?**

Clark's jaw hung open for a moment, before he dared to reach for the journal. He and magic didn't really get along so well, but someone was reaching out for him. He would answer the call. 

_I'm here,_ he penned.

**Oh, thank goodness! Joker wasn't answering!**

_Who are you?_

**That's not important right now! However, two Jokers, One Deck is!**

_What's that?_

**It's an event that has a five percent chance of happening in any given universe and it's happening right now! Please, take this book with you and get to the Joker as quick as you can!**

_Is he in trouble?_

The book seemed to quiet for a moment, before the hesitant, shaky words appeared on the page, as if penned with an anxious hand.

**If you aren't there to help them, Joker and Batman might die.**

A gust of wind ripped through the apartment, rustling the curtains so violently that they almost came off of their rod. Clark's red cape cut the sky, as his heart thundered in his ears.For the first time in months, he felt his soul vibrate with purpose.  He would stop this from happening.  He would save the men he loved. _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ I'll admit, when I started out this chapter, I didn't know it was going to be about Clark sorting through some of his emotional baggage and Alfred making the Joker worry for his safety. But, hey, happy accidents? XD
> 
> Anyways, the Two Jokers, One Deck event has been triggered! Who triggered it? Why? What is it? Post your theories in the comments below! Or if you liked the chapter, post. XD I just like hearing from my peeps, really. Let's me know that folks still care about this fic. 
> 
> See you next time and I hope you have a lovely day!


	16. A Taste of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clown comes clean about one of his concerns, after Bruce uses a talent that the Joker has so rarely seen him capitalize on in other worlds.

The naughty clown managed to steal a bite off of Bruce's fork, giving him a saucy smirk, even as the other man's eyes dared him to do it again.

"I'm not Clark." he warned the Joker, "I won't spoil you."

" **Ha!** Says the man who bought me a whole truck load of side walk chalk!"

Bruce parted his lips, only to shut his mouth at the Joker's raising eyebrow, ready and willing to call his bluff.  He had been caught; caught at being a softy.  With that defeat, Bruce decided that he'd earned five minutes of brooding for having to take that hit.

But, at least, he got a consolation prize. The laughter that trickled out of the Joker was unlike any version of it that he had ever heard before. The chiming of a small dinner bell, a tinkling of glass, a sweet feast for the senses. It was magic; it was music; it was life; and it was at that moment that Bruce realized an impossible truth.  It wasn't just lust; he was in love with this man.

"You know, I think I've figured it out! I understand why this world is so different from all of the others!"

"How is that?" the Dark Knight said, snapping out of his dizzying revelation.

"Because you and Clarky-Clark aren't playing _pretend!_ You see, the other versions of you boys wear your day-selves as masks! Bruce Wayne is a playboy to the public, but the truth is, it's just a facade other Batsy's wear, so that he can live out his true life as the caped crusader when the lights go out! Supey is much the same way! Being Clark Kent is a cover for him being the high flying boy in blue! But, in this universe, well, you boys are yourselves, no matter what persona you're wearing! **Hey** , wait a minute! If I'm right, then that means, you're a _man_ - _whore_ in **this** universe!? How many folks you banged, Bats!?"

Bruce thought about it for a moment, then a few moments longer, seeming to try to come up with some kind of score, causing the clown to blink twice, before rolling backwards and laughing his ass off. That got him rolled on top of. Soon, he found himself staring up into a pair of what could only be described as bedroom eyes. Joker felt his body heat up, immediately. The clown swallowed, before speaking through what felt like cotton,

"Why so close, Bats?"

"Is me being in touch with my sexual side a problem?"

Such a low, rich tone. The Joker had to distract his thoughts, lest he give in to temptation. Because that's exactly what Bruce Wayne was; _temptation_ , itself. What a beautiful weapon of disarmament. The Joker slowly shook his head, before daring a smile.

"I'd rather you have smashed all the people in the world, than to be a prude. That way, I can get some of you, too."

That made Bruce roll his eyes, but the amusement was clearly there, causing forest green eyes to shimmer.

"I love that I can make you smile. I spent so much time trying, you know. So much time trying to get you to laugh in other worlds. I even spent so much time trying to reason with you, after-" the Joker shook his head, "No, that doesn't matter now."

A strong hand found its way into his hair, stroking gently and causing the clown's heart to ache, bitter-sweetly. There was a time when he would have given his life for something like this.

"Sometimes, I think this is all just a dream. I mean, how could there exist a world in which I've got it so good? And no, I don't think this will last forever or anything, but- **Ha!** Oh, Hell, Bats, you've got to quit looking at me like that. It makes me start talking and you know very well that I'm not suppose to be sharing all of my secrets with you boys. Especially not _you_."

"Why?" Bruce asked softly, as he moved his hand down to cup the clown's face, his thumb stroking along the other man's pale cheek.

"Because I don't want you worrying."

"That's only half the truth, isn't it?"

" _Ohh_ , you're **good** , Bats. You can tell when I'm lying, just by looking into my eyes?"

"You've got a few tells." Bruce said, as he rolled off the clown, to rest by his side.

" _Interesting_. Tell me more."

"No. Not until you tell me why you don't want me knowing things. Me and Clark are going to watch your back. We need to be privy to what you know to do that effectively."

The Joker gave a long suffering sigh.

"Alright, Bats. But, don't blame me if you can't sleep at night. And you can't tell Clark. He wouldn't.. he wouldn't be able to take it."

Bruce was silent for a few moments, seeming to mull it over in his mind. The Joker's eyes narrowed, before he hissed,

" **Promise** me."

"I promise."

The clown relaxed once more and took a few minutes to collect his thoughts.

"It was a hot day in July and I was up to no good. It had been a while since me and you- I mean, _my_ Batsy danced together. So, I was cooking up something big! The crime to end all crimes! But, it wasn't meant to be. Because something bigger was happening in Metropolis.  Something had been set into motion that would change.. _everything_."

The Joker took in a swallow breath, as he felt Bruce's hand brush green hair now kissed with perspiration out of his face. He reached for that hand and placed it over his chest, holding it over his racing heart. Bruce left it where he put it, as if he could understand that he needed something to tether him in the here and the now, as he reached back for things he would rather forget.

"I was getting everything ready. But, that's when the Earth started shaking. Before I knew it, it was light's out! By the time I came to, I realized that I was trapped; my hideout collapsed and I was pinned underneath it."

"How did you get out?"

The Joker looked at the other man. That broken smile in turn broke Bruce's heart.

"I _clawed_ my way out."

Bloody hands, bloody arms, bloody face. The memories rushed back to him, each more ferocious than the last. The Joker remembered finally breaching the surface.

"I saw the light."

"The light was the sun?"

" _Oh_ , it was the 'sun', alright. But, not the one you're thinking of. Although, that's what I first thought when I saw it, too. But, I realized when snow started falling from the sky on that hot July day, that something had gone terribly wrong. And the light in the sky was moving around. **No** , that wasn't the sun. It was the _son_ of Krypton; and he'd gone stark, raving mad."

There was a few moments of heavy silence.  The Joker finally decided to put the tense crusader out of his misery.

"The televisions in the repair shop nearby were mostly broken. But, one of them in the center, turned on its side was still working. The signal was weak, but the reporter on it said to abandon all hope; Superman had destroyed the sun."

"Why would Clark-"

"Bat-Mite had watched the whole thing. He told me that Lexy had done something stupid that got Clark's main squeeze, Lois Lane, killed. I didn't know what caused him to snap at the time. And I didn't care. I ran off to find you. But, by the time I did-"

A mangled body, a torn cowl, empty eyes.

"You were dead. Clark killed you, along with the entire Justice League. Lex was also there, with all of his limbs torn off. Ha! And I thought that _I_ had cruel and unusual ways to kill people! It's amazing, really. Heroes who are pushed past their breaking points, often times become more dangerous than the villains they're fighting against. I've said it before and I'll say it again; all it takes is one bad day, Batsy. _One_. **Bad**. Day."

"What.. happened afterwards?"

"I sat there, cradling your dead body. I realized that I was the last person alive on Earth. Until finally _he_ landed nearby. I raided Lex's suit. Sure enough, there was a lead box filled with Kryptonite. Don't know why ole' cue ball never got a chance to use it. But, I wasn't going to pass it up. Not when _he_ killed **you**. So, I stalked toward him. But, when he looked up at me-" the Joker shook his head, "I dropped the rocks. I couldn't do it."

"Why?" Bruce breathed.

"Because.. Because his eyes were an exact copy of the way _mine_ looked the first time I saw myself in the mirror after I crawled out of that damn vat of acid! He was in so _much_ **pain**. So, I held him. I held the hero who'd destroyed everything he ever loved. I held him, because I was the only one who could understand. We were there for the longest time. But, without the sun, Supes got weaker and weaker. Without the light, I got colder and colder. Not sure who died first. But, I'm pretty sure we both bit the big one. Not the way I thought I'd go out, but hey, it was better than most of my other deaths."

Finally, it clicked. Understanding entered Bruce's eyes. The reason why the Joker knew that there was one thousand and one ways for the Earth to be destroyed was because he'd lived them. This man had martyred himself, over and over again, trying to save the world. He had failed each and every time in spite of his best efforts. There was a high chance he would fail again. But, he had chosen to come here, regardless, for everyone's sake.

"You said this is the last world. If it is destroyed, what will happen to you?"

"That means it'll be my last dance, Bats. No more chances."

"If you had stayed with Bat-Mite in the fifth dimension, could you have survived?"

"Yes, but, without you and Clark and the other folks of this world.. what's the point?"

Jokers were selfish by nature. But, somehow, tragedy beyond imagination had changed this one. He had a heart of gold. Understanding the value of such a thing, Bruce would do anything he could to protect it.

But, he wasn't naive. He knew that if the Joker had seen Superman destroy the world once, he had probably seen it a dozen times over. And if the incorruptible Superman could be coaxed into causing a world ending event, that meant that even Batman wasn't exempt.

He and Clark were liabilities. That much being said, he needed to keep an eye on himself and the rest of the Justice League to insure something didn't happen to push them over the edge. Because it seemed that the clown prince had been right, all along. It all came down to one bad day; an irony the Joker would surely appreciate, if he, himself, hadn't fallen victim to it.

"Do you see why now? Why I kept things from you?" the Joker asked, staring dully at the ceiling.

"Yes. And you were right."

I was- wait, what? You admit that I was right about the whole not telling you thing!?"

"No. That I'll be losing a lot of sleep over it."

The Joker blinked twice, before a wide smile swept onto his face. It was contagious; Bruce found himself cracking a small grin, himself. Not a single word was needed between them. He was sure that the Joker understood; he didn't care what the other man had seen before. Things would be different this time. They would be his support, no matter what. They would protect him; even if they had to protect him from themselves.

But, shattering the moment's peace between them was a universal law coming into play; no matter the world, no Joker could anticipate the actions of another version of himself. That being said, the clown prince of crime couldn't have ever imagined the danger barreling toward Wayne Manor. But, the first clue was when glass shattered nearby. The beeping of the bomb's little, red light clued them in to what was coming. The Joker peeked over the bed at it. A clown bomb with three seconds on the clock.

" _Oh_ , **shit**."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ Decided to jump to Joker and Bruce's POV real quick! 
> 
> Well, our Joker seems to think that he has discovered the reason for this world being so different from all of the others he has visited! That the heroes are just as much themselves behind the masks as they are with them on! Kind of like a perfect work-life balance thing! Or is it more than that? Guess we'll have to wait and see! Either way, the Joker is liking this version of Bruce and Clark. XD Bruce is in touch with his sexy side and Clark is more human in his eyes. But, now, the original Joker of this world has come a-knockin'! How will things pan out for our heroes and reluctant do-gooder Joker?! Tune in next time to see! ^^
> 
> And, as always, if you are enjoying this fic, please leave your thoughts down in the comments, below!
> 
> See you later and I hope that you all have a fantastic day! =)


	17. Clown vs Clown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two Jokers come to blows!

Batman's mind raced, but not as quickly as his heart. Three seconds- Could he grab it in time? No, it would go off- Two seconds- Could he throw something on top of it to stifle the blast? No, there was nothing large enough to take the force of the blow- One second- They could run! They would- it was too late. Bruce wrapped his arms around the Joker and twisted them, so that his back would take the brunt of the impact.

But, it never came. By the time Bruce opened his eyes, he realized that he no longer heard the mechanical laughter that usually came with the Joker's brand of bomb. However, just because it had left the building didn't mean that it had mysteriously disappeared. In the distance, it could be heard detonating; **BOOM**.

"Are you two okay?"

Bruce let out a sigh of relief, before turning his head to see a smiling Superman.

"Cutting it close there, Clark."

The other man rolled his eyes at the Bruce's mock criticism; he knew the grumpy ole' bat was glad to see him. And he wasn't the only one. He soon got an armload of enthusiastic clown. Smeared red lips, still messy from last night's activities collided with his own. It was a dizzying kiss; the kind that made him feel like the man of the hour.

" _Mmmm-_ **wah**!~ _My_ **hero** , **hahaha**!"

"Hey, mini-me!"

The shout from below got the clown prince racing to the window to see the original Joker shaking his fist in his general direction.

"Get down here, so that I can kick your ass, **haha**!"

"Oh, you just _wait_ until I get down there, bub! You know damn well not to bother a clown before he's had his coffee!"

"Wait, you drink **coffee**!? What the heck is the matter with you!?  _Hoo!_ That stuff just gives me a headache! I'm hyper enough on my own!"

"No coffee?" the smaller of the two clowns blinked in shock, " _No_ **coffee**!?! I mean, I get it, we have our differences, but that practically makes us two separate species of clown! No wonder we don't see eye to eye, **ha**!"

"Not going to wait for you to chug down a cup of Joe, pal! Either you get down here, or I'm coming up!"

"You'll at least have to wait for me to get my clothes on, buddy-boo! Not coming down there in my birthday suit, _hoo_!"

The Joker could be seen hopping into his pants from the window, before racing to the other side of the room to retrieve his shirt, only to have to retrace his steps to fetch his vest. The clown on the ground shook his head.

"Musta been a hell of night, **ha**!"

However, his smile went from amused to downright poisonous, "Hope it was good! He's not going to get another ride on _those_ carousels, if I have anything to say about it."

Out of the window sprung the smaller clown, who landed perfectly on his feet. Clark watched from the window as his clown lover straightened his vest, before the two princes of Gotham began to circle one another in a fashion that could only be called primal.

"I'll make sure they don't hurt each other too bad. Better go get dressed, Bruce."

The Dark Knight didn't like the idea of parading around in broad day light, especially at Wayne Manor, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice. This realities' Joker had brought the fight to them. He had to answer the call, as he always had. Especially since he couldn't let their Joker take him on alone.

He knew that he shouldn't underestimate the fun-sized clown prince of crime. His petite stature was not a good representation of his skill sets, most of which he had a feeling had been purposely hidden from the two men he was sleeping with. But, when he thought of how the other man towered over him and what he was capable of- A stormy night, a dirty alleyway, a knife in his side- _No_ , he had to get ready for battle. He had to block it all out, like he always had.

As Batman wrestled with old demons and his armor, Superman took a seat on the balcony. He used to be a reactive hero when he first started out; a real touchy trigger finger. But, with experience came a sense of calm and stoicism. Or perhaps the cool head that Batman was known for had merely rubbed off on him, over the years.

Though, all of that painstakingly built grace-under-pressure went flying out the window, when the colorful men came to blows. His heart jumped every time their Joker had a near brush with a jack knife. His first instinct was to fly in between them, scoop their prince up in his arms and shield him from any harm.

But, he couldn't do that. There were rules to these kinds of things. Deep and unspoken codes of conduct, that not even Superman should upset. Even more importantly, he didn't want to _upset_ the little prince, who, if truth be told, looked like he was having the time of his life going toe to toe with the much larger reflection of himself.

Blade brushed blade, throwing sparks with every strike. The Joker wished they had been doing this after dark. It would have been one Hell of a light show! But, that did beg the question.

"Hey, lanky!  Why'd you decide to attack in the middle of broad daylight!? We sleep until noon, remember!? Or is that something else we've got that's out of sync!?"

"No, we're both still morning haters, short stuff! I just had to get here as quick as I could after watching last night's home video!"

"Last night's- _Holy_ - **Moly** , you've got this place bugged, don't you!? You watched me, Bats and Supes do the horizontal tango!? Then that means- **HAHAHAAAA**! You're here because you're _jealous_!"

"I am not!" the other Joker shouted, his cheeks burning a not so subtle shade of pink.

" _Oh_ , but you **are**! What, did I muscle in on a fantasy of yours by sleeping with the two most eligible men this side of the solar system?"

"No, but I do hope that having relations with the dork knight and captain underpants was worth it! You see, word around town is that I've been seen making nice with them and it's ruining my hard earned reputation! You break my rep, **ha** , I break _you-hoohoohoohoo_!"

" _Ooo_ , **big** words! **Big** man! Well, come at me, then! Let's see you put your money where your mouth is! God knows it's big enough, **hahahaaaa**!"

A flash of black, however, landed in between them, right before the two clowns could get serious about their grudge.

"Batsy, get the Hell out of the way!"

"I agree with the small fry! Move it, Bats!"

" **No**. Playtime is over."

"Over?" the taller of the two said with a menacing, low chuckle, " _Hoo!_ It's barely even begun-"

Before he could even pull the pin on the grenade he produced out of thin air, he found that it had been taken from his hands by a flash of all American color.

"Blue boy, you aren't suppose to interfere! This is Gotham, **dammit**!"

"I will when my boyfriends are at risk."

"Your- Oh, sweet Jiminy Christmas." the larger clown moaned in despair, "You've already staked a claim. Which means Lex is going to win that little bet we made. Which means that I'm going to be the laughing stock of Gotham, soon, because they'll think you're ME! What the Hell am I suppose to do about _this_!?"

" _Why_ ask **me**!?"

"You started this mess, that's why, half-pint! You just had to prance in and upset the apple cart, didn't you!?"

The smaller version of the Joker in this match was a man on a mission, but that didn't mean he wasn't sympathetic to the other clown's case. He placed his hands on the visibly upset villain's shoulders in a show of solidarity.

"Hold up, buddy-boo! I'm not this destroyer of fun that you think I am! I came here to save this rock rolling around in space, not rain on your _parade_! You really think that I'd ruin your life on purpose? I mean, as one clown to another, I know bloody well what it means to you to be able to give the GPD a headache or Batsy the run around! Hell, on your worst days, it's all you've got that can motivate you to drag your keester out of bed!"

Superman's eyes widened a bit. Was their prince implying that the larger clown was suffering from clinical depression?

"I'm not here to muscle in on that. I'm really not." the smaller Joker said, offering a small smile, which caused the larger clown's lips to quirk upwards slightly in turn, "But, I can see where us looking too much alike could cause some problems. Don't you worry, **ha**! I've got the perfect solution!"

It was exactly noon when the smaller Joker waltzed out of a salon, the lush green locks he was known for now sporting charming purple highlights. 

"Looks good, Jo." Superman said, all smiles, as the man twirled around to show off his new style.

"It suits you." Batman added, trying to keep the smile off his face, since he was suppose to be the stoic, Dark Knight at the moment.

"Not bad! Not too shabby at all! Now even from a distance, folks will be able to tell us apart!"

"So, no hard feelings, big foot?"

"None at all, smol, **ha**! As long as you don't muscle in on my turf or ruin my playtime. I get that you're on a mission to save this little slice of madness we have here from imminent destruction and all, so I'll try to stay out of your way while you're here, so long as you do the same for moi!"

"Sounds good, ole' chum!"

The two clowns went to shake on it, only for Batman to roll his eyes and stop them. They both had their joy buzzers on and were ready to roast their counterpart like a pig on a spit. Both men blinked as they got a better look at the other's hand, before laughing hysterically.

Bruce supposed he should be grateful that things worked out so well. This had the potential to turn into a war. Instead, the two nutcases had opted for a more diplomatic solution. Would wonders never cease? Still, he didn't like the idea of them getting too cozy.

"Joker. You have a ten minute head start." Batman said, narrowing his eyes in such a way that got his villain scrambling.

"You really going to go after him?" Superman asked with a raised eyebrow, once the lanky menace was nearly out of sight.

"No."

That answer caused the other two men to smirk, before the prince and the god leaned in to give the dark knight a kiss to either side of his face. Batman managed to maintain a straight face. But, that tint of red peeking out from under his mask was more than obvious to the men who had claimed him as their own.

"Home."

That's the only word needed. Superman wrapped his arms around each of them and when next they opened their eyes, they were in Bruce's room. They ended the morning much in the same way it had begun; all three of them, under the sheets, cozied up to one another.

"Clark."

"Hm?" 

"Didn't you have work today?" 

Clark's face fell some, as he looked Bruce in the eyes.

"I, uh.. decided to take some time off." 

Bruce gave a grunt, before he slowly allowed his eyes to slide shut. Clark sighed and shook his head. He'd just lied through his teeth. Right on cue, guilt began to eat him up. But, he couldn't tell them the truth.

He was Superman. He was suppose to have his act together. What would these men think of him if they knew that he had almost lost his job that morning?

But, a hand soon closed around his own, snapping him out of his worrying thoughts. He found himself being gazed up at by a set of admiring, shimmering green eyes and somehow, his troubles seemed to melt away. Slowly, the clown and the hero joined their vigilante in a deep, dreamless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Okay, this chapter is weird. XD I am very self aware that it is. But, perhaps it is endearingly so? I'm not the one to judge, lol. That is my reader's jobs to decide that for themselves. XD So, let's see what we have here; a clown compromise, three sleepy men, a vigilante, a superhero and a reluctant do-gooder all in one bed and purple highlights. XD Did you enjoy this random piece? If you did, feel free to post it in the comments below! ^^ I always love hearing from my fans! 
> 
> I hope you all have a lovely day! =)


	18. Rush Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next event presents some interesting challenges that Bruce is surprisingly ready for.

The weeks passed by and the Joker contently split his time between two worlds; the nice, cozy apartment nestled in the overly bright and cheerful Metropolis that the clown prince was slowly developing a tolerance for and the beautifully-ugly city of Gotham, where he, in spite of his garish colors, always felt right at home. After Bat-Mite had given him a good chewing out for leaving the book out in the open for someone else to find, which the harlequin felt the need to point out was a good thing, since Superman found it and rushed to his rescue, he conceded to his gross lack of responsibility and vowed to carry it with him at all times.

All times that he was clothed, anyways. He had put that little caveat in that agreement since nowadays, he found himself nude more often than before; compliments of the two hot men who'd come into his life, both with a healthy sexual appetite and a taste for clowns. Not that the Joker minded. In fact, with the recent lull in trouble, he needed some rescuing from own boredom.  There were few things kept him entertained like a little hop in the sack with his two most favorite heroes in the entire world.

Though, idle hands still made for trouble. That's probably why he found himself setting up a bucket full of ice water over the door of Bruce's bedroom.

" **Mmhmhmhmhm**! Oh, this is gonna be _perfect_!"

Footsteps!

_He's coming!_

The Joker rushed to the bed, throwing the blankets over himself and doing his best to look innocent. He just needed to contain himself long enough for gravity to do the rest of the dirty work for him. Sure enough, Bruce pushed open the door to get a gander at his prince, only to find himself drenched to the bone!

" **AAAHAHAHAHAAA** -Uh oh!"

Before the clown could flee, Batman was on top of him, wrapping him up in the blankets, until he resembled a sausage roll!

"It was a **joke** , Bats! Have some mercy- _heheheheeee!_ "

Bruce wanted to be mad. He really did. But, damn if this little stinker wasn't cute when he was being absolutely horrible. Still, he couldn't let him get away without punishment. It set a bad precedent.

"Ten spankings. A sore ass will help you think before you act next time."

"Dunno about that, Batsy. A sore ass never stopped _me_ before."

Bruce shook his head at the shit eating smile the Joker gave him, as well as the uncalled for eyebrow waggling. Just for that, Bruce decided, he was getting five more. He quickly hauled the other man onto his lap and commenced with his punishment. The first hit got a yelp. The next few got a bit of struggling, but for the most part, the clown took it in good stride, besides some high pitched whining that got a certain someone else's attention.

"What the heck's going on in here?" Clark asked as he exited the bathroom, wearing only a towel, "Aw, stop that, Bruce, you're hurting him."

Clark saved the clown from the last hit, bringing the roll of Joker into his arms and earning a smooch to the cheek in return.

"You spoil him." Bruce accused.

Though said accusation held no bite to it. In fact, Bruce was wearing a smile. It was no secret that he loved seeing his boyfriends together.

"Of course I do. He deserves it."

The pale, petite man nuzzled into his chest with a hum of contentment.  Or was that a sound of agreement? He loved when he was spoiled; that was no surprise. But, what did come as a shocker to the Joker, a man who spurned the approval of others all for the sake of his fun, loved when Clark said that he deserved the good treatment he was being given. The Joker had given up everything he believed in just to try to save everything he realized that he loved. It was nice to be acknowledged for his sacrifice.

Just then, however, a flop and a scratching sound caught their attention. The **book**! Joker wriggled like a worm on a hook, until Clark carefully unwrapped him and set him down. The message seemed jarring with the way that the clown prince was starring at the words on the page.

"What does it say, Joker?" Bruce asked, his tone dropping into a more Batman range.

"The event is Rush Hour." Joker said with a heavy sigh, before running a hand through his hair, "Boys, I can't believe I'm saying this, but can you call the Justice League in on this one?"

Both men glanced at each other, before looking back at the clown; the pale man looked visibly shaken, though he was still wearing a typical smile; Clark and Bruce had come to recognize that as the clown's way of putting on his brave face. If he felt the need to do that, then whatever was coming wasn't just a drop in the bucket. It had the potential to really wipe out all life on Earth.

"I'll assemble the league." Clark said, getting ready in a blur, before making a mad bid for space.

As for Bruce, the man rose from the mattress with a lion's grace, before taking wide strides for the door, only pausing long enough to give the Joker a glance to see if he was coming. The jester bounded after him. It was a dangerous situation they were going to find themselves in, a real pickle, but he still loved seeing Bruce in Batman mode. As the other man put his suit on, it was like the persona of the Dark Knight was being layered on piece by piece.

As Batman turned around to face him, however, he quickly finished his makeup. Bruce was his spicy sweetheart but, once he put that cowl on, it was all business; a policy he had learned to respect. The Batmobile roared to life with the push of a button on Batman's gauntlet. Once they'd both hopped into their respective seats, they sped out toward the outskirts of Gotham.

The Joker side eyed Batman a few times, before slowly reaching for the radio. Right on cue, without even having to look at him, his hand was batted away by his darling in black, who knew his every move; no Whitney Houston for him, he supposed.

"Joker. **Focus**. Tell me what you know about Rush Hour."

Reminded why they were out and about in the first place was like receiving a shock to the system. Ah, that's right. He had almost forgotten that they were in danger of losing their lives for a moment there.

"Rush Hour is an asteroid event." he said, collecting his thoughts, "It's extinction level and on Earth three fifty-two, it took us all out because Earth's heroes weren't prepared for it. Not that I could warn them ahead of time."

"Why?"

"Because none of em _believed_ me! As soon as I showed up, **wham** , they locked me in an isolation chamber! I didn't get to _see_ the event, myself, though I heard it."

"The asteroids didn't kill you?"

"Nope! My containment chamber was deep underground! I was as safe as a turtle in its shell!"

"Then, how-"

"It wasn't the rocks that killed me, darling." the Joker deadpanned, before focusing on the road straight ahead, his smile dropping into a grimace, "It was starving to death."

At that, silence fell between the two. Batman didn't know what the Joker was thinking, but his own thoughts went to putting himself in the clown prince's position. If he had died a tragic death like that and so many others, would he have been able to pick himself up and try again? Would he have been able to put himself at the mercy of others on other Earths, not knowing how they would react to him when he showed up? Would he have been able to make the ultimate sacrifice time and time again?

He would like to say yes. He would like to think he would. But, the human mind could only take so much. The question would be if he even _could_. Suddenly, it became crystal clear why Bat-Mite had chosen the Joker to aid him in his quest to save the Earth; he was the only one who could take the level of punishment required to achieve the right result. The Joker was the only one who could take this level of pain.

Yet, it made his sacrifice no less valiant. In a way, to Bruce's mind, it made this Joker a saint. The man had no stake in the common comings and goings of Earth. He wasn't a member of society and stuck out like a sore thumb. He had no true allegiances, no family, no property, no wealth. Yet, when he realized that every version of what he had known was going to be gone forever, he had answered the call to action. He stood in the gap, between them and certain destruction, all the while knowing that he would be getting nothing out of it. _This_ Joker was selfless. _This_ Joker was worthy of love and admiration; **_this_ **Joker was a true hero.

"Joker."

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

The jester blinked twice in confusion, before understanding filled his eyes. If the Joker's smile was the sun, Clark would have all of the power he could ever need. How any Batmans had seen that smile? How many others had told this Joker that they were grateful for him, that he was a wonderful person or even given him a simple thank you? He knew the answer, without knowing any of the other versions of him. That look of confusion the clown had given him told him everything he needed to know; he was the first.

Once they stepped into a field of wheat, Batman activated his com.

"J'onn, come in. This is Batman. I'm at location seven. I need transport for me and one more."

**_I read you, Batman. Starting teleportation sequence in three, two, one-_ **

" _Ooohoohoo_! Beam us up, Scotty!"

A flash of light later and they were soon standing on the main floor of the bustling hive of activity known as the Watch Tower. Suddenly, a voice called out from the crowd, bringing everyone to a stop, as they came to attention.

"Everyone, assemble please!"

The clown prince of crime had once been a man who loved being the center of attention. But, all of those heroes' eyes on him, some of whose gazes were more than just a little judgement, caused him to take an unconscious step in between his two men, just as Superman touched down at his side.

"As some of you can tell, this is not this world's Joker. He is from an alternative Earth and has traveled to many versions of this planet. He's here to warn us about many disasters in order to keep the human race from dying out. I'll turn the floor over to him."

The Joker swallowed hard. He had asked for the Justice League to be called together, that much was true. But, he hadn't been expecting to address them like this. Still, this was no time to be bashful; because time was something they obviously didn't have.

"Hello, Justice League, **ha**! Uh, Joker here! You see, there is this hugeeee wave of asteroids barreling toward our little burg as I speak and if they touch down, well, civilization as we know it will cease to exist! So, if you could get out there and find a way to stop them from hitting us, I think you may just make it onto Santa Clause's nice list this year!"

"Superman," Batman said, stepping forward and taking control of the situation, "Find which direction the asteroids are coming in from. I'll call the United Nations. Every flight capable hero, gear up. Those who can't go to the bottom floor."

"The bottom floor? Isn't that the empty one, being renovated?" Flash asked, mildly confused.

A rare smirk appeared on Batman's face.

"Not anymore. The project is complete."

And what did the heroes find on the bottom floor? A new launch room, where twelve space capable rocket ships were being docked. The Joker gave a low whistle.

"Look at all the toys, _hoohoohoohoo_! Hey, Batsy, can I-"

" **No**. And you can't come along, either."

"What!? Whaddaya _mean_ that I can't tag along!? This is my world, too-"

Two strong hands gripped his shoulders. The other man looked him directly in the eyes.  The man in black's next words were so full of conviction that the clown prince felt them hit him with the focus of a baseball bat as he said,

"You've suffered enough."

The clown froze in his tracks, his forest green eyes growing large.

"Batsy?"

As for the man in the cowl, he couldn't get out of his mind Joker's words from earlier. He'd starved to death. He'd probably been killed many times, not by horrible events he had been sent down to Earth to prevent, but by the residents of Earth, themselves. How many of those residents had been heroes? The ones he was working with right now? Himself, even?

The odds were not in his favor that fate had been kind enough to spare the Joker from taking Superman's laser to his brain or a deranged version of Batman's batarang to his throat. Over and over again, Joker had probably seen every kind of death from every kind of person imaginable, most of which he was seeing here tonight. He endured it over and over again, all because he was trying to save them all.

Knowing that, Bruce would do everything in his power to spare the Joker any unnecessary pain from now on. Clark would spoil the man, while he would protect him from any misery that came for him. It was the least he could do for the man that he now recognized as the closest thing humanity had to a guardian angel. A fallen angel, but an angel, nonetheless; an angel they didn't deserve.

"I want you to stay here, where it's safe. We'll be back."

When Batman turned to join the first crew, he felt resistance; a hand had grabbed his cape.

"Batsy," a softened voice croaked, "Can I give you a kiss for luck?"

That's when a historic moment happened in full view of everyone in those ships loaded full with heroes waiting for the signal to launch. Batman took the Joker into his arms and gave him a kiss worthy of the silver screens. At first, the Joker squeaked in shock, before his arms came up to cling around his Dark Knight. He didn't want to let him leave. This could be the last time he saw him! But, reluctantly, using every ounce of self control he'd gained over the years, he relented. He willingly peeled his grabby fingers off and let Bruce go for perhaps the last time.

"Be safe, Batsy." he uttered softly at the retreating, dark figure as it disappeared into a ship.

As the fleet roared off into the distance, a horrifying thought struck him.

"Oh, God. I didn't get to kiss Clarky-Clark goodbye."

And that's when the Joker crumbled, sitting down on a nearby curb, before burying his face in his knees. The place was empty save for him, he was sure. At least in space, no one could hear him cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> Sorry that it's taken so long to get a new chapter out! This week has been nuts. XD Plus, I wanted to get this as good as I could before releasing it, since it was an important chapter with a lot of revelations. Clark already came to the understanding that Joker should be spoiled. Not only because he finds him absolutely adorable, but because if he is Earth's hero and they are his hero, then he views it as their job to make the man happy. As for Bruce, he has come to an understanding of his own. If Joker is Earth's hero and they are Joker's, then it is their job to save him from horrible unhappiness. 
> 
> So, they are now attacking this from two different vantage points. They both believe the Joker should be treasured, one of them focusing on making the clown happy and the other focusing on guarding him from unhappiness and terrible fates that could befall him. 
> 
> Working together and being prepared for any contingency, like Bruce was with his finished program, guessing that there might be danger from space that could befall them at any time, they might just help the clown prince succeed in his endeavor to save the world this time around! ^^ Let's wish them luck!
> 
> And as always, if you liked this chapter, please leave a comment down below, letting me know what you liked about it! I always love hearing from my Lovelies! ^^ And I'll see you in the next one! Have a fantastic day! =)


	19. If Looks Could Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroes strike out into space to destroy the asteroids tumbling toward an assuming planet Earth.

The Joker was strange. But, in no way was he unique. Some would call him just another freak shot out of the womb of one sick, sick city. The clown prince of crime would have been inclined to agree with them. Why shouldn't he? For one, it was true and for another, it was always good for a laugh to play with the idea of Gotham being the mother of all monsters.

Yes, _monsters_. A man eating croc, a living scarecrow who wanted all to know fear and a genius gone mad, who's macabre puzzles punished the ignorant in grotesque ways. They were numerous, blood-thirsty and all cut from the cloth of the same failed society.

However, without meaning to, the Joker had risen above his origins. Tragedy had reshaped him yet again. He had been molded into something more than a mere monster. Yet, as he stood there, on that platform, staring off into the vast void that was space, he came to the realization that whatever he was now, wasn't enough. And because of that, he'd been left behind.

His heart ached; his two champions had run off to face a sea of asteroids, risking their lives without him. He understood that Bruce's intentions were good; sugary enough to induce a cavity, even. His Bat didn't want to cause the Joker undo suffering. Yet, in trying to do what was best for him, he'd cut him to the core, giving him the most bittersweet pain the clown prince of crime had ever known.

"Don't you boys understand?" the clown breathed, his gloved hands pressed to the ice, cold windows of the observation deck, tears glistening in his eyes, even as his lips spared a smile, " _I'm_ suppose to be the one protecting **you**."

Meanwhile, the Joker's emotions were the last thing on Batman's mind. He had a crisis on his hands and while preparing the space faring vessels ahead of time was a great bit of insight on his part, preparation alone wouldn't win this war of attrition. Only good timing and all of the Justice League's fire power combined would be enough to save the last planet Earth from the volley of treacherous asteroids.

"Lantern, flank right. I'll take the left. Superman, lead your group through the center. Spearhead maneuver, alpha."

"Copy that." Superman and the Green Lantern answered back in unison, before the teams split up to divide and conquer.

The threat had been a level ten; a true Earth extinction event. It was nothing the heroes of Earth couldn't handle, however. Finally, the last space faring rock was punched to dust by Superman, causing a sigh of relief to go up among their ranks.

"That's the last of them." Clark spoke into his com.

"It's a good thing we figured this out ahead of time!" Flash interjected.

"Yes, it is. Thank you, Batman, for your diligence." Manhunter commented.

"Don't thank me." the man in black said, before a rare grin made its way onto his face, "Thank the Joker."

Everyone listening in on that conversation were given cause for pause; they had almost forgotten that the key to saving the Earth from this disaster had been given to them by the most unlikely of candidates. However, in spite of the display between the clown prince and Gotham's dark knight earlier, Wonder Woman couldn't help her growing suspicions.

This Joker may have been from another Earth and possibly even from another time, but a clown was still a clown. Even if he was sleeping with Batman, why would he have any reason to want to save the Earth? Had his love for their second in command really grown stronger than his desire to see the world burn?

That burning need for answers straight from the source had Wonder Woman storming off her plane, the moment it landed, as she made a beeline for the pale man staring down at them from the higher vantage point of the observation deck.

"Joker! I have questions that need answering!"

But, it was like he didn't even hear her; or see her, for that matter. In fact, the clown had his eyes on someone standing just behind her. The Joker went barreling down the stairs of the observation deck, almost tripping over his own feet in an effort to get to that person. She stepped aside with a sigh. Let him have his time with Batman, then perhaps they could get down to a proper interrogation-

"Holy Hera!"

Joker's lips hadn't locked with the Dark Knight's; instead, he had jumped into the arms of none other than Superman, who was, much to the shock of everyone present, eagerly returning his kiss.

"I-I'm so glad." Joker's voice shuttered, "I didn't get to give you a goodbye kiss."

Clark's mirthful eyes softened, as he tenderly brushed a stray, green lock out of the clown's face. He may not have been the world's greatest detective, but he was super good at reading between the lines. _I was afraid I wouldn't get to kiss you ever again_ ; that's what the Joker meant. And grasping the full meaning of those words and that look deep in the smaller man's eyes sent a thrill through Clark like few other things could; the Joker really and truly loved him.

The clown prince then slipped out of his arms and bounded up to Bruce, giving a twirl, before clasping his hands together sweetly as he smooched the Bat on the lips. Superman smiled as bright as the sun. No, he loved _them_. He loved them **both** and acted as the glue that held the three of them together.

Suddenly, that thought spurred an epiphany in his mind, causing the world around him to slow. He was living the dream. The Joker had dropped into his life and had given him everything he thought he could never have, but always wanted.

" **Woah!** Easy, big guy! What's gotten into you?!  _Hoohoohoohoo!_ ~"

Superman had scooped up Bruce and the Joker in his arms, before he knew it, hugging them tightly, like he would never let them go. He didn't know what challenges were ahead; it was certain to be more than a few. But, if they stuck together, he knew they would be able to handle anything that was thrown at them.

"Clark."

Flashing a sheepish smile, he carefully set Batman back down on his feet again, as the Joker laughed all the while, content to be in held by those powerful arms and in no mood to get down anytime soon. Just then, a throat cleared. Once they turned around, they saw that Wonder Woman was front and center in a crowd of on lookers.

"Uh oh, **ha**. I think we owe the peanut gallery some kind of explanation! Whaddaya think, boys?"

"We don't owe _anyone_ an explanation." Batman said, drawing his long cape around him.

Joker sighed softly in bliss. He thought that he could almost feel the non-existent hearts floating up around his head. His Bat wasn't the boy scout Clark was, but he did try to cultivate a certain image; a responsible, mature, brooding image. For him to buck against something he, himself, created by not denying that this was exactly what it looked like lit a fire in the furnace of the clown's tummy; **_oh_** , how it made him want to find a nice, private place to jump his Batsy's bones.

"But, we'll give them one anyways?" Superman offered, trying to ease tensions in the room.

Joker sighed for a different reason now and pouted into Clark's shoulder.

"Way to be a buzz kill, Clarky-Clark."

"Sorry, Jo." the man of steel said, as he scratched the back of his head, "But, you were right in the first place. If we don't tell them anything, we'll all get questioned individually, which will take up a lot of time."

Joker felt his hair stand on end, as Clark leaned close to his ear and whispered hotly,

"And we have better use for that time, don't we?"

The rekindled flame flickered back to life; now, he just wanted to shove both of his men into the aforementioned, private place and keep them there, all to himself, for as long as he could.

"Okay, but make it snappy, since we have, **ahem** , _places_ to be, _hehehe_!~"

It wasn't the most comfortable conversation to say the least. Especially with Diana's sharp, blue eyes boring holes into the Joker; he suspected that he had just taken away both of her dating options in one, fell swoop. But, at least, the rest of the league looked somewhat okay with it, even if this union was anything but, typical.

"Looks fine to me." Flash said with a shrug, "What? They look happy together and we're all adults, here. If they love each other and it's a healthy relationship, why would anyone want to stand in the way of that? Besides, Batman's right. They really didn't owe us an explanation. It's their business, you know?"

At that, everyone nodded in union. Well, everyone save for a very jaded Wonder Woman, who was still glaring as if she wished the clown prince would combust before her very eyes; needless to say, the Joker was never so grateful that Clark was the one with the laser vision and not her. Still, in his opinion, it was time to bounce.

"Boys, don't want to over stay our welcome, do we?" he whispered into Batman's ear, knowing Clark's keen hearing would be able to pick up on it, "Now, get me to bed, so that I can give my heroes a **proper** welcoming home, _hmhmhm_ ~"

The jester grinned from ear to ear, at the immediate effect his honeyed words had on his men. They both stiffened, their eyes a tad wider, as their minds filled with images of what that night promised.

"Uh, anyways, w-we've got-" Clark began, his voice thick, as he tried to find a quick way out.

"-Matters to attend to." Batman helpfully filled in, before spinning on his heel and motioning to Clark, who power walked his way out, a giggly mischief maker held bridal style in his arms.

Green Arrow shook his head in wry amusement.

"Got them wrapped around his little finger, doesn't he?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez, been gone a long time! Sorry about that, friends! Life has been getting nuts around here and I don't think you would even believe me if I told you half of the nonsense that's come up within such a short period of time! But, here's to hoping that life slows down a bit, so that I can write more and worry less! XD
> 
> Now then, onto the story! Yeah, Joker took Diana's prime dating choices. She isn't happy about this in the least. Also, Joker isn't happy that his men left him behind! He knows Batman is trying to protect him, but since he is supposed to be protecting them, it kind of defeats the purpose. Will Joker find a way to make his Batsy realize that without them, he has no reason to be? That the last thing he wants is to be kept out of harm's way? Is that something either of his men will accept? Guess we'll have to see on the next chapter! ^^
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope that you have a fantastic day! =)


	20. Eat Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark and Bruce get the Joker come for a little fun in bed. Also, Joker makes plans that Bruce will not be happy with, but the clown prince is a man on a mission! Conflicting viewpoints ahead!
> 
> *Note, this chapter is a little spicy and at least mature, so read at your own risk*

It had taken at least thirty minutes for the men to get back to Wayne Manor. The wait had been agonizing, but certainly worth it, as the clown prince found himself to be the center of their desire. Which was quite the unexpected turn of events; he had, after all, meant to be the one pleasuring them. But, if they wanted to consume him, like a buffet of sweet treats, then who was he to tell them no?

And consume him, they did. The Joker vaguely wondered if there wasn't an inch of them that their lips hadn't been on him, as they tasted, a nip here, a lick there. But, while their teasing was downright delicious, the Joker was at his limit. He was only one man; he could only take so much.

"B-boys!" he gasped out as Clark latched onto his neck to make marks to match Bruce's on the other side, "Please!"

"Please what?" the rich man asked with a smirk, placing a calloused hand on their quarry's lean belly, enjoying the way it quivered under his touch.

"Tell us what you want, Jo." Clark prompted sweetly, before he took to gently tugging on his earlobe with his teeth, making the clown prince groan with complete and utter want.

However, Joker clammed up, a rebellious smile taking over his face, causing Bruce to raise an eyebrow. He wanted to play hard to get, did he? Well, he knew how to crack the other man's resistance wide open. All it would take was one simple move on his part and he would do so with the same impunity by which he defended the streets of Gotham City.

Deceptively sweet kisses were peppered down that ivory skin, trailing down, down, down, until he heard snickering escape through those ruby, red lips. Bruce smirked in the darkness. Joker thought he was going to get one thing, when he really had another one coming.

Clark startled upwards when the Joker howled with pain, a ragged sound that that soon washed into a breathy moan of pleasure. Clark directed his eyes downward only to see Bruce come up for air. Superman could hardly believe his eyes. Bruce hadn't been sucking the other man; he'd bitten down on the inside of a sensitive, milky-white thigh; hard. So much so that he had actually broken skin.

Blue eyes glimmered like two cold gems as he licked the red off his lips. He looked like a living vampire in the moonlight. Seeing this display seemed to send a shock of arousal through their shared lover's body and he wasn't the only one; the man of steel didn't believe he had ever been so aroused in his entire life.

"Please, fuck me!" the Joker squealed, made pliant by Bruce's out right act of passionate violence.

"Don't know if I should." Bruce's rich tone dropped, "You're being obstinate. But, then again, you did wait patiently for us to get back. What do you think, Clark?"

Being acknowledged caused Kent to finally snap out of the trance the scene before him put him in.

"Yeah, he did wait and do as he's told. I think he deserves some love."

"See! Clarky-Clark said I deserve it!"

"Clark's all heart." Bruce said, before leaning in over the clown's prone body and breathing into the skin of his neck as he mouthed it, letting the Joker feel every tooth, "But, I'm not."

He bit down once again, making the clown's toes positively curl. Clark was content watching for now, if truth be told. Bruce was a man who was right about a lot of things. He was all heart; too soft to use his strength against either of them. Too kind to inflict damage like the jester obviously wanted them to do.

Still, it made him sigh a little. Was he just a third wheel? What if this is what the Joker wanted all along and he had out grown his use for him? What if this is what Bruce had needed all along, a Joker who was a bit easier to control and Clark was just along for the ride?

He may not have been from Earth, but there was something so very human inside of him that ached in that moment. Perhaps he should just slip out. They wouldn't notice him, most likely and then, he wouldn't- But, just then, a hand closed over Clark's. He looked up to meet Bruce's eyes, before the man guided him forward, whispering into his ear.

Joker watched the two with curiosity, before he saw Clark's baby blues widen. What had the Bat told him, he wondered. But, he didn't have time to ask. Instead, he was transfixed by the imagery of Clark, a god amongst men, lowering himself down to pay some tender attentions to the bite his Bat had just given him.

Now, it was Bruce's turn to enjoy the sights. Clark's tender kisses, some chaste and some open mouthed, set the clown from moaning to whimpering and panting beautifully. Yes, this was what their prince wanted. Sweet and sour, pleasure and pain. They each had their part to play; and now that Clark understood, he was really getting into his new role, settling in nicely. Almost like a long lost puzzle piece falling into place.

"Brucie, please." Joker whined.

That was his cue. Bruce brought his nails down the Joker's pale sides, leaving grievous, red streaks that were soon soothed by Clark's tender touch. A possessive bite here, a soothing lick there; **oh** , _yes_. The Joker had taken all sorts of drugs over the years, compliments of Arkham. But, nothing forced into him ever managed to get him quite as high as this. It felt so good that it was almost hard to believe that any of this was real; that a man who had known misfortune to a comical level most of his life should be so lucky now.  That he should be brought to the apex of pleasure by his only true soul mates.

As dawn broke over the horizon, it revealed a thoroughly sated clown prince tucked neatly between his two lovers. He wore nothing but a smile. Perhaps his fear of not being enough was misplaced. Just as misplaced as Clark doubting for even a second that he didn't belong there. They all belonged, because they all completed each other.

Still, even if that thought warmed him, that didn't change the fact that he was unable to help his men. The clown prince peeled open an eye to gaze at Bruce's handsome, sleeping face. A pale hand brushed over the vigilante's cheek; a feathery touch.

_**Bless your heart, Batsy-baby. I know you don't like the idea of me getting hurt, but I can't stay in your bubble. Got to make sure that I can be there to save the day. I'm not a hero, but I'm going to do the best I can.** _

By the time Bruce woke up, he found him and Clark alone in bed. A small note rested on his bedside table, which the Dark Knight couldn't help but, to narrow his eyes at.

_Going to see a man about a dog. Don't want up for me!_

_Hugs and kisses,_   
_J._

"Clark." Bruce said, shaking the other man by his shoulder.

"H-huh?"

Superman sat up, his usually pristine hair sticking out in every direction.

"Joker's gone."

He flashed the note to the man of steel, who quickly pulled himself up from bed. The two men got cleaned up and started donning their costumes. It was only about the time Superman pulled up a boot, that a question surfaced in his mind.

"Wait, why are we going after him?"

Batman paused at his cape, turning to listen to him, with an eyebrow raised.

"I mean, I know we put a lot of emphasis on keeping an eye on him to keep him out of trouble, especially in the early days, but we trust him now, don't we?"

Bruce pondered it over for a moment, "True."

"Okay, so why don't we give him a little room? I mean, you gave him a cellphone, right? And I don't see it, so he obviously took it with him. He'll call us if he needs us. Or, if he's in trouble, all he has to do is say my name and I'll be right there."

His reasoning slowly convinced the other man, if him taking off his cowl was anything to go by. Clark smiled, happy that he was able to talk the Dark Knight down, understanding that logic was as comforting to Bruce as a cup of hot tea was to others.

By the time they had both fallen back into the sheets for more much needed sleep, the man of steel felt something tickling at his neck. He glanced down just in time to see a lusty Bruce Wayne, who seemed to be in the mood for something a little more energetic to start the day off with.

"Clark." Bruce murmured, before letting the other man feel his sharp teeth clamp down on his throat with a low growl, "I'm still hungry."

Clark could swear that he felt every last drop of blood go south. He licked his lips, feeling his mouth go dry, as he dared to whisper,

"Then eat me."

Alfred Pennyworth had just finished preparing breakfast for two, considering how the clown prince of crime had made his exit earlier that morning, a cup of Joe in tow. He wheeled it toward the dumbwaiter; only to notice that the chandeliers started to sway and the China-wear had begun to rattle. The butler glanced up, before he gave a long suffering sigh. The covered plate was plucked off the cart and placed in the oven.

"I do hope they are fine with the reheated cuisine, considering how they've found.. _other_.. uses for their morning time."

But, even though Alfred's tight schedule had been interrupted and there was a chance that the feast he'd prepared might go to waste, the butler found himself smiling. Maybe, just maybe, this time, his charge would be so lucky as to keep someone he set his heart on. Maybe Master Bruce would make an honest man of the man of steel, yet.

However, just then, the gleam off of something nearby caught his attention; a purple cell phone was resting innocently on the counter top. The elderly man sighed, as he picked up the phone.  That devil had either left it here on purpose or by accident and he was sure he knew what the answer to that was. Though, softening his resolve was a discovery on the phone's screen; it was a picture of Bruce, Clark and the Joker enjoying ice cream in the park.

Alfred looked thoughtful for a moment, stroking his chin. It was an unconventional thought, to be sure. But, maybe, just maybe, Bruce would be lucky enough to keep two. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> It seems that their relationship is making some progress! Clark is insecure right now. Especially since I maintain that the boys are more their alter egos in this fanfic; which means that Bruce is a lot more sexually experienced and Clark is a muffin. He needs to know that his presence is wanted in that bed. That he is not just some third wheel that is no longer needed. Let's just say with seeing how Joker responded to his comfort, after Bruce's sensual wounding, well, he knows well enough that he is very much wanted. And as if that wasn't enough, well, Bruce chose to make passionate love to him over sleep, even without the Joker there, so there's that. XD 
> 
> As for where the Joker is off to so early in the morning? Guess we'll just have to wait and see. XD But, let's just say that Bruce and Clark are not going to be happy about this. Not at all. Got any guesses as to who he is off to see and why? Place them in the comments below! Or, if you wanna just stop in to say hi, that's fine, too. XD You all know how much I love when you visit. ^~ 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you have a fantastic day, everyone!


	21. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Joker reveals a secret in exchange for power; Batman is rightfully suspicious of where their wayward clown snuck off to.

"Lexy, baby!"

A solitary man in a lab coat leaned over the most recent gadget he had been laboring on and groaned.

_First, a raid by Superman and now, a visit from the Joker. Can anything get any worse?_ Luthor questioned himself, before he ran a hand over the curve of his genius, albeit, bare scalp.

"What is it that you want, Jo-"

That's when he found himself coming eye to eye with a man that was all too familiar and yet, didn't recognize, at all.

"You're not the Joker."

Lex's hand inched toward a panic button under his work bench. Before he knew it, a blinding flash of light caused the button to transform into a charred mess, right along with his unfortunate finger tips.

"Oops, **ha**! Didn't mean to do that. No, _really!_ I'm just a little high strung lately! One might even call me **wired**! _Hoohoohoo!_ ~"

Lex seethed out through clenched teeth, as he forced his injured hand into a fist. " _Who._ Are. **You**?"

"Oh, no one important, really." he said, picking up a paper weight obviously inspired by the Atlas Shrugged and examining it idly, before putting it back and taking a few more measured steps toward the other man, "Just a clown passing through."

Much to Lex's dismay, the jester parked his keester right on the table he had just been working on, ignoring the highly delicate materials he was shoving aside to do so. This wasn't his world's Joker, which meant that the clown had been telling the truth concerning his whole 'double' problem.  But, they were pretty close in nature, weren't they? Both still had a disregard for his personal things, for instance.

"Passing through to see _you_ , Lex ole' chum!"

Luthor resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the other man poked him squarely in the chest with a lithe, pale finger; and the same disrespect for his personal space, obviously. He eyed the new clown's expectant face as his eyes glittered with the thinly veiled threat of incoming mischief, if he was turned away. With his lab under threat, he decided to humor him; the sooner he founded out what this menace wanted, the sooner he would leave.

"Fine." the genius said with a sigh, "I'll tolerate you for a few minutes. What do you want?"

" _Want?_ **Me?** Oh no, my precious cue-ball-headed friend!" he said, patting the other man's noggin.

Two pats, precisely. Anymore than that and Lex would toss him out on his ass. If his travels had taught him anything, it was the existence of that one constant which rang true no matter the universe.

"You see, I'm here to help you!"

"Help me?" Lex muttered, almost huffing a laugh at how the word help and Joker went together like oil and water, "And what could you possibly bring to the table, except a migraine? And let's say that you do have something I want. Nothing comes for free, especially not from you. So, I'll ask you again; what do you want, Joker?"

"Well, now that you mention it, we really could help each other out." the Joker drawled, as if that hadn't been the plan from the start.

Now, Lex really did roll his eyes. The clown wasn't as full of surprises as he liked to think himself to be. That's what Lex would have thought, anyways, if the Joker's next request hadn't been so perplexing bizarre.

"I need power, Lex."

"Don't we all?"

"No, I mean literal power. Electricity. Enough to fuel Metropolis ten times over!"

"Why would you need that much in the first place? Where on Earth would you possibly put it? Not to mention, that's millions of dollars worth of electricity; what could you possibly have to offer me that would be worth the inconvenience?"

The new Joker gave an almost, dare he say it, shy smile, before gesturing to the security cameras.  Ah, so here was where the similarities ended between the two trouble makers.  They may not have been bosom buddies, but Lex had worked with the other clown enough to know that he couldn't have pulled off a look so modest, if his life depended on it.  

"I would rather talk about this more privately, Lex. Wouldn't you?"

Luthor eyed the security cameras, before glancing back at the clown prince with a raised eyebrow.

"You've never wanted them off before."

This man lived for an audience. Knowing that made the billionaire instantly suspicious of this doppelganger. But, also, intrigued.

"Either you want those off to kill me, without leaving any evidence or you've got a secret."

The Joker smiled wide, chuckling through his grin. He liked Lex, no matter the world; the man always asked the right questions.

"Turn em off and find out."

It was foolhardy; of course, Lex knew this. But, he was never a man adverse to a little risk. Especially not with the prospect of a very profitable reward on the horizon.

"Authorizing Camera shutdowns in sector 9." he said, not taking his eyes off the other man.

"Authentication needed."

Lex turned to face the camera, so that it could do a scan. The cameras all around them soon went dead. With that, he faced the Joker and for once, wasn't disappointed by the killer clown. The underground lab bore witness to a flash of light. Lex gasped in awe as he bathed in his new discovery.  He dared to step closer, as he took it what should have been impossible.

"Extraordinary."

Elsewhere, Clark began to stir. He sat up and glanced at the clock. It was so very tempting, that plush mattress.  It made him want to give up on consciousness and lay back down. But, something didn't feel right.

"Clark." Bruce groaned, as he rolled over to see why he was no longer being spooned.

The other man's posture had him sitting up right away.

"What's wrong?"

"Joker's not back yet. And, I think something could be w-"

"Look at you two! Still sleeping in at this hour!? Talk about a couple of Rip Van-Winkles, **ha**!"

The two men soon found themselves pounced. Kisses were pressed all over their cheeks, causing Clark to laugh and Bruce to grin. Finally, he was caught up by their arms, snickering as they held him tightly.

"What's gotten into you, Jo? You've got a lot of energy today!"

"Practically vibrating with it." Bruce noted, as he ran his fingers through the clown's hair in hopes of getting him to calm.

"Sorry, boys! Just feel _charged_ today is all, **hahaha**! Say, we should go do something fun!"

Clark was nodding here and there, as the Joker animatedly described all of the possibilities the day could hold. But, the sound seemed far away to Bruce, as the man retreated into the sanctity of his own mind.

_Charged?_

Subtly, he lifted the tracker he'd put on the back of the clown's neck off. He was a man of many secrets. Everyone had at least one. So, it should have been fine for him to let his boyfriends keep theirs', right?

He eyed the two carefree men in his presence, before sighing and tucking it subtly into his pajama pocket. Being Batman, he just couldn't do it. It might have made him a hypocrite or a bad person, but more than anything, it made him protective. Clark was too kind for his own good and the Joker? Far too reckless. It was time to see where their smaller lover had been that morning; it was time to unearth his secrets.

For in knowing, he could make contingency plans around the clown, protecting him like a layer of shields. He could keep him safe. He could.. He could..

"Hey, **Bats**! Stop zoning out! We're trying to decide between a picnic in the countryside or a day at the beach! I mean, sure the scenic views of those rolling hills must be nice and all, but there's nothing more special than burying the ones you love most alive in a pile of sand! Don't you think so?"

Both pairs of eyes, pure blue and whimsical green blinked at him in inquiry, causing Bruce to sigh. Oh, who was he kidding, anyways? He really just wanted to have reassurance that he could stop worrying about them so much.

"The beach sounds fine. But, only if you aren't fussy when its time for us to put more sunblock on you, Joker."

The clown snickered, flustered, at the thought of big man hands rubbing him down with oil, before winking animatedly, "You've got yourself a deal, Batty-cakes!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, my Lovelies! Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it? But, I've not abandoned this fic, I promise! Life's just been kicking my butt, lately. XD 
> 
> Anywho, Lex got to see one of the Joker's secrets before his lovers even get to. But, Joker had to exchange something for the thing that he needed. Now, the question is, what do you think the secret he is carrying is? What do you think he exchanged to get the power he'd been seeking from Lex? Please post all your theories in the comments below! You know how I love hearing them!~ ^^ 
> 
> And I hope that you all have a wonderful day!


	22. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A vigilante, a hero and an reluctant do-gooder all spend time at the beach.

"For **Cripes'** _sake_ , Bats!"

Bruce startled at the sound of his strange bed fellow's voice, nearly dropping the tracker he was preparing to scan. His heart thundered in his ears as he heard the other's footsteps draw closer.  He did thank fortune that the sound of his uncharacteristic fumbling was covered by the clown as he continued to nag.

"Can't you leave whatever it is that's bothering that batty-brain of yours until tomorrow!? Or, at least, can't it wait until we get home!?"

The other man was approaching his right side, prompting him to tuck the device away in his fist and school his expression. He couldn't let Joker know what he'd been up to; or Clark for that matter. His attempts to spy on the Joker's activities would be seen as a breach of trust on both sides. It was something he needed to handle more discreetly. It was something he couldn't get caught red handed doing. It was something-

"-All I'm saying is, I think that I deserve your undivided attention, especially dressed like _this_!"

Dressed like-? When Bruce turned his head to look at the clown prince of crime, who was posing just so, the tracker he'd been trying so hard to hide hit the floor with a thankfully subtle clink. The billionaire's jaw might as well have hit the ground, as well. All of that glorious, snowy skin was on display. Long limbs, so smooth and soft, that his finger tips longed to touch; a pale column of throat his mouth watered to be on; that pert ass clothed in only a playful shade of lavender; the Joker was in a speedo.

"Like it?" the man smirked, shaking his bottom a little, satisfied that his more brooding lover couldn't seem to take his eyes off that part of his anatomy by this point.

"Uh huh." he muttered, as he muddled through the lust clouding his judgement.

Lilting laughter brought him out of his stupor, causing him to shift his eyes back up to the other's face. Somehow, the jester's full smile was contagious by that point; he caught himself grinning. That was when a startling revelation struck the Dark Knight. _God_ , the things this man did to him; did he even know how wonderful he was?

"Joker."

"Yes, Batsy-boo?"

"Come here."

The Joker shrugged, before he approached, only to be pulled onto the man's lap. The clown yelped for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Bruce's neck and chuckling deep in his throat, as he peered down into those deep-ocean eyes. That smirk; oh _yes_ , the little shit knew. It was impossible to hide the feelings in his eyes and the growing need pressing insistently against the clown's rear. Joker had him and Clark right where he wanted them; they were hopelessly addicted to the mad man's love.

" _Hoo!_ Got your attention **now** , don't I, Brucey?" he muttered, wiggling, just to tease.

At that point, the vigilante got a bit grabby, prompting him to rise from his seat like a prince from a throne.

"Naughty, naughty! **Ha!** We're suppose to be getting ready for the beach, not copping feels! Now, come on! Let's get you into your swim trucks, so that we can all have a nice day out!"

Before Bruce knew it, he was being dragged upstairs. The tracker was still glistening on the floor, a vague twinkle in the darkness of the cave's dimly lit expanse. A mystery always had the ability to intrigue the Dark Knight. He wasn't just the world's greatest detective out of necessity; a piece of him truly enjoyed the chase.

But, a piece of him also enjoyed the Joker's zest for life and need for stimulation. It was refreshing, this change of pace and atmosphere the other man brought, even if it did take him away from work here and there. The need to see where the Joker had wandered off to early that morning was off set by his need to see one lovely venue, two smiles and three sets of footprints in the sand.

That's precisely why he was now driving his two lovers in one of his exquisite, albeit, underused sports car convertibles, enjoying the sun on his face as they drove out from under the oppressive cloud cover of Gotham city, toward a popular beach location. They even had an umbrella hanging out of the back and a picnic basket beside the Joker, who was not so subtly munching on the grapes Alfred packed before they even got to their destination. It was oh so domestic. _They_ was oh so domestic; **God** , what was happening to him?

"Jo, you promised Bruce that you wouldn't complain."

Said man glanced away from the shore and found a hint of a poorly suppressed smirk on the pale man's face as those giant hands began to smooth the sunscreen all over his back. Bruce shook his head; Clark was being played. Joker was putting on airs, when he well and truly enjoyed all of this attention and the physical caressing.

But, if the small smile on Clark's face was anything to go by, he knew the Joker's game and was all too willing to play along. So, Bruce turned his eyes back out on the horizon, as he lounged under the umbrella, miraculously without noticing that he was now brandishing a smile of his own. As the day wore on, many sandcastles were built and destroyed by the tide, many goodies were eaten and many coats of sunscreen were applied to ivory kissed skin; many, many coats, some necessary, some indulgent in nature.

"Say, now that I'm all slicked up, why don't we play a game, hm, boys?"

"What game?" Bruce murmured.

Soon, he felt a finger press against the tip of his nose, prompting him to open his eyes and raise a brow at the coy clown prince of crime.

"Tag~ You're it!"

The Joker took off like a shot. Bruce rolled his eyes, before poking Clark's shoulder.

"It."

In a flash, Clark had caught up the Joker and brought him back under the umbrella.

"It."

"No, no, no!" the Joker whined, "That's not fair at all! Stop making Clarky-Clark do your dirty work! You need to chase me properly, **dammit**!"

Bruce wasn't inclined to take the clown seriously. Until one word was spoken with so much conviction, that he was forced to lower his designer shades to take a look into the face of the one who spoke it.

_"Please."_

Such a sad face; such a bitter-sweet pout. Bruce ran a thumb over those plush lips. Joker took his hand in his own, holding it like a life line.

" _Please_ , Bats. It's been so long."

Bruce wasn't one to go running around in the hot sun. He preferred the cover of darkness and the cool of the evening for when he exerted himself. But, those words hit him like a freight train. This poor man had taken upon himself the weight of one million worlds and the pain of one million deaths. It made him a saint in Bruce's opinion, but he had never really stopped to ask himself what this jester's life had been like before he developed into the man he knew today.

He had mentioned being up to no good; a plot to end all plots. So, scheming, joking around, playing deadly pranks? These were all par for the course for any Ace of Knaves, to be sure. But, for jester to want this so badly from him to plead, it told Bruce that all of those things came second to one simple thing; the chase.

"Joker." he said, taking his pale lover by his chin when he bit his lip and tried to glance away, "Look at me."

Vibrant, green eyes shifted to look into his own; somehow, the bombastic prince full of charm and pizazz had turned downright shy. Clark tightened his hold on the man who was seated in his lap. It seemed the Joker's new found demureness wasn't only affecting him; he was adorable like this.

"Do you want me to chase you?"

"Yes." he admitted, his cheeks flushing a delicate shade of pink.

The Dark Knight seemed to mull this all over for a few moments, but in truth, his decision had already been made. How could he deny him so small a thing? It was a pittance in comparison to everything he gave them; not just in him saving the world, but in the joy he brought into his and Clark's lives everyday. Yes, for once, Bruce Wayne, Gotham's Dark Knight, Batman, was happy; and he owed it all to the Joker.

"You get a ten second head start."

The Joker's face lit up like a forest of fireflies, before he sprang out of Superman's lap, dashing off down the beach, a giggling, giddy mess, which Bruce was soon in hot pursuit of. Clark, meanwhile, took the other man's spot, getting comfortable, as he watched his two lovers playing as the sun began to set. It was easy to see how much happier Gotham's brooding vigilante was; incidentally, Bruce wasn't the only one who felt like a hole in his life had been filled.

Clark had spent so much time trying to please everyone else and while he couldn't say that it was wasted time, considering how many lives he'd saved and had many hearts he'd touched, all of that running around being the hero had kept him from focusing on himself and what he needed. The Joker had been a distraction at first, that melted into a fond bond that made him look forward to waking up every morning. And what's more, the love that grew so slow and tenderly between them had also netted them  the man of their collective dreams; it was more than Clark had ever dared to hope for.

Yet, even as these thoughts filled him with joy, the feelings began to slip away like sand through his fingers as the worry droning in the background of his mind leapt forward like it always did when he was content. He was suppose to report in to the Daily Planet tomorrow. He was suppose to go back to work and prove to Mr. White that he deserved his job as a reporter. He had proven it before, he could do it again. But, the question remained, even with all of this time off to think about it; was that really what he wanted?

Alfred Pennyworth's words he pretended not to hear, that had been spoken at least fifty times, rang in his ears; _Master Bruce, when are you going to make an honest man of Master Kent?_ **Marriage.** That was what the aging butler had been implying. And while he was ever so grateful that Bruce's father figure was progressive enough to be perfectly fine with two men being bound by Holy Matrimony, would that make him happy, either?

A deep sigh escaped him, before his attention was captured by the squealing sound the clown prince made as he was finally caught up in Bruce's arms and tossed into the water without much fanfare. His smile was reclaimed. Decisions, responsibilities, future possibilities; would it be too much to ask to just live in this moment, forever, instead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ Let's dive right in, shall we?
> 
> Have you ever been stuck, impossibly trapped by decisions you are supposed to make? That is where Clark is right now. In truth, he wants what he has at that moment to last forever, for well knowing that this can't continue. He has to decide where he stands. But, either way, that entails letting go of something. So, the question remains; does he give up his job as a reporter and the life he's known before and trust Bruce to catch him, or does he retreat back into that life where he may not be the happiest, but he is certainly comfortable and safe. It's time for Clark to put on his big boy shorts and decide who he wants to be; anddd that's something we're going to address in the next chapter, I think, along with a revelation about who Joker really is. Which will leave poor Bruce in the middle, wondering when he expected things to be simple and easy, when underneath, they had never stopped being complicated. XD 
> 
> So, in short, we have a lot of drama coming up, folks! Stay tuned!~ And as always, thanks for reading and for any comments you may leave. <3
> 
> Have a wonderful day! ^^


	23. More Than a Man of Steel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark finally makes a decision and confronts his old life.

A lone man stood in front of the Daily Planet in the wee hours of the morning. Besides himself, there was only one other person in the immediate vicinity; Mr. Perry White, who had just unlocked the door and was making his way up to his office. The moment the man was seated in his high back, leather chair, Clark shut his eyes, taking in a deep breath in to steel himself, before making his way inside.

"Ah, Clark! Come in and sit down! I trust you had a good vacation-"

"I'm here to turn in my resignation."

The man seated behind the desk nearly spit his coffee across the room, gagging and quickly succumbing to a coughing fit, which Clark helped him through with a wince of guilt.

"W-what!? But, why!? Is this about you wanting a raise or something!? If it is, then this is a terrible way to-"

"No, Mr. White. It's nothing like that." the mild mannered man sighed as he sank down into the chair across from his once-boss, "I took the time you gave me to really think about my life and the direction it was going."

Silence filled the room as Mr. White allowed the other man to gather his thoughts, something for which Clark was truly grateful.

"I love this job, Mr. White."

"-But, you found something you love more."

The elder man looked amused for a moment, before he sauntered over to a wall and took a picture from it. He looked thoughtful, before he blew the dust from the old memory.

"Think I was always a hard-nosed reporter who turned into a grizzled paper pusher at the top? Think again, Kent."

He handed over the picture of a much younger version of himself, barely sixteen, standing on the bow of a ship with a man that looked so much like how Mr. White did now, that it was almost uncanny.

"Is that your pa?"

"Yeah. We used to take trips on that second-hand house boat of his every summer! I told everyone I was going to be a sailor when I grew up. So, I joined the navy to get experience, before getting a secondary job to save up money for my own vessel. I was planning to sail all around the world!"

"Why didn't you?"

"Well, I found something I loved more."

The next article from the past that he produced astonished Clark. It was a newspaper clipping from ages ago, one that involved him. He had given a certain, small-time reporter an interview when he'd gone by the handle Superboy; that reporter had been none other than Perry White.

"You.. Interviewing Superman changed your mind?"

"Yeah. That's when I realized that reporting was my one, true love; all because of a big scoop I got that no one else could. You know, sometimes, life doesn't turn out the way we expect. Especially not for the people we think we know."

Clark watched as Perry rose from his desk and went to stand by his window, staring out at the rising sun with his arms tucked behind his back.

"I thought a fellow like you'd be here forever, Clark. Always thought of you as a plain Jane, who had nothing better to do than to chase down people and things more interesting than you."

At that description, Clark almost pouted. He had always tried to make the Kent side of him seem ordinary. But, it didn't mean that it stung any less to hear that he was essentially boring. Was Superman really the only interesting part about himself? Insecurities like snakes began to surface from the hidden holes in his confidence. They would have eaten him alive, if not for a caveat that was most unexpected; especially coming from Mr. Perry White.

"-But, clearly, I was wrong. You're not just plain Jane Clark Kent anymore. Not when you're finally striking out on your own, deciding what kind of man you really are and what you really want out of life. That being said, I accept your resignation. There's no hard feelings, Clark. If you ever need to come back, you'll have a job waiting. Now, get out of my office and go get your man."

Clark swore he almost swallowed his tongue hearing that last line. It caught him completely off-guard, sending him from warm, fuzzy feelings at this parental side in Mr. White that he so rarely got the chance to see to a straight up panic.

"H-How did you..?"

Perry turned to Clark with a shit eating smile on his face.

"Why do you think I've got windows that look onto the streets, Kent?"

At that, Clark flushed all the way to his hairline; Perry had seen him with Bruce. It was the only explanation he could think of. Oh God, the scandal this would produce! Clark knew journalism; the media would be all over this-

"By the way, he's an awfully scrawny fella, Clark. Better feed him up right, or he might just blow away, heh!"

_Scrawny?_

The man of steel breathed an internal sigh of relief. The Joker; Perry had seen him with his clown prince, not his Dark Knight. That meant the chaos that would come from Bruce Wayne having a 'new squeeze' wouldn't be something they would have to deal with publicly. At least, not yet. And besides that, where did the Joker fit into all of this?

_In between us_ , his brain unhelpfully supplied, the risque thought bringing the slightest color back to his cheeks as he let himself out of the building.

Bruce must have really been rubbing off on him, if that's the first thought that came to mind.

_Not that I mind._

A somewhat silly smile emerged on his face as he realized that he had finally turned a corner; he was the wallflower ever in his alter ego's shadow no longer. Now, he was Clark Kent, the fool in love. And it felt pretty damn good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies!~ I hope you're all having a wonderful day! 
> 
> I know this chapter is a wee bit small, but I wanted to make it short and sweet. Not just to move the story along, but to emphasize how something Clark thought was so big and complicated, actually was quite simple, all along. Isn't that just the way? Most of us (Myself included, cough, cough), tend to make mountains out of molehills. He needed a change, but was reluctant to do it. He was afraid of the consequences. For not even being Superman makes him immune from the effects everyday life has on Clark Kent. 
> 
> But, now that he has stepped out of his comfort zone, he feels like a new man. Now, however, even if he has fixed some old problems by closing up his chapter in Metropolis, he has created a few new ones. For example, what should he do for a living, now? He doesn't plan to sponge off of Bruce. He's always had a problem with how liberally the other man throws money at him. He doesn't want Bruce to think that he has to buy his love, after all. So, that means, he will have to find a new job in.. wait for it.. Gotham City! What job do you think he will find? Feel free to post that in the comments, below! ^^ 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and for your comments!~ See you all next time!~


	24. Here to Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker has an anxiety attack.

The Joker rarely took naps. Not just because he was a given to a rambunctious nature, but for the simple fact that it was hard to sleep, knowing that the world was going on without him. But, his Batsy looked oh so inviting lounging there in their four poster bed, that handsome face pressed against a pillow in such a way that it was scrunched up most adorably.

_Almost like a pug._

That thought set him to giggling, which caused an arm to loop around his waist and haul him into bed.

"Sh."

That was all he got, before his darling Dark Knight drifted off into an even deeper sleep. Though, even as the man's body relaxed, his hold on the clown didn't; not one inch. Not having much wiggle room or choice in the matter, the jester mentally shrugged, before settling in. What would one, little nap hurt? He was sure he would still be able to hear the book on the dresser nearby, burst open if a crisis was headed right for them. So, he allowed himself to indulge, all the while forgetting that every vice had its price.

Three hours later, the Joker began to stir; and when he did, he found himself alone. Wayne Manor was usually an inviting place. But, a strange wind blew through those empty hallways as the jester's feet touched down.

"It's quiet." he muttered with narrowed eyes as he clutched the book tight to his chest, "Too quiet."

The first place he stopped was the kitchen. Alfred was usually preparing lunch around this time. Lo and behold, what did he see? No Alfred.

"Alfieeeeee?" he called, as he wandered.

No _sound_. His next stop was the Batcave.

"Batsyyyyyy?"

No **sound**. His heart thundered in his chest. He checked the drawing room, the library, the lounge, the pool, the garage- Soon, all the rooms started blending together. The house had become a maze that made no sense. Perspiration slipped down his throat as he swallowed thickly.

"B-Bat-mite?"

He threw open the book. But, the new page was blank. There was nothing. No emergencies. No crisis's. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. But, why, then, did he feel so-

"Scared." he whispered while wringing his hands, "M' Scared."

Slowly, the jester's back hit the wall, as he slid down. Tears joined the cold sweat on his face, even as nervous laughter bubbled to the surface. Where was everybody? Where was Alfred? Where was Bruce? Where was- Clark! The one person he had yet to call out for! He licked his lips, about to shout for Superman at the top of his lungs. But, then, he remembered something. Clark worked at the Daily Planet. If he called for him now and he left, wouldn't he be fired?

Vaguely, Joker remembered that he suspected his White Knight had been having some trouble at his job as of late. His boss seemed like a hard man; maybe he wasn't pleased with him. If he called for him to come and Clark did, wouldn't that be the straw that broke the camel's back? And so, with a heavy heart, the clown let his forehead touch the top of the book he was clinging to, as his entire being was gripped by panic. He would wait, praying that sooner or later, someone would come find him. That his fears were the result of an episode and that everyone wasn't gone, again. That the people he loved would come home.

The sun began to set. The orange glow gently cast a long shadow of a lone man huddled in a corner of the drawing room. Did a door just open? No, that was just his imagination firing off for the thousandth time. There was no point checking. There was no one there. It was all in his mind-

"Joker?"

His face snapped up at the sound.

"Clark?" his voice croaked, "Is that you?"

That handsome face looked taken aback, before those powerful arms reached down and held him in his arms. Joker's heart broke.

"Oh, God. You're here. You're really here. I th-thought-"

He was sure he was speaking nonsense. But, Clark was just letting him do it. Letting him get out all of those feelings he'd bottled up.

"Could you believe there was a time when I wasn't afraid of anything?"

Laughter followed as more tears squeezed out. He clung to the other man, not wanting to let him go. Almost as if he feared him disappearing the moment he wasn't holding onto him.

"This is your fault, you know. And Brucie's. And even Alfie's! I'd gotten over it. I'd gotten over being afraid of losing people, even if I didn't want it to happen! And now.. And now-"

Clark held the other man all the tighter, like he was the only thing keeping him from falling apart. His heart ached for him. It was easy to forget with the way this Joker smiled that he'd seen horrors others couldn't have imagined. He didn't know all of it, but he knew enough to understand how prone to PTSD and anxiety attacks this jester was.

They all knew it and yet, they hadn't been careful enough to make sure that they coordinated their schedules to make sure that their clown prince wasn't left home alone. Guilt filled Clark to the brim; he'd been so busy dealing with his own inner turmoil, that he'd forgotten about his lithest lover's.

"I'm so sorry, Jo. It's gonna be okay now. I've got you."

As Clark carried the Joker to bed, he realized that he'd made the right decision. Metropolis would always hold a special place in his heart. But, he was needed here. Bruce may have prided himself on being Gotham's silent protector and the Joker may have prided himself on being the world's, but at the end of the day, they needed someone to lean on; Superman- no, Clark Kent would be that man. He would be their protector; their own, personal hero.

"Don't leave." Joker pleaded as he was being tucked in.

"I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry, sweetheart."

Clark crawled into bed on the other side and wrapped his arms around the clown, cradling him to his chest. That pale body wrapped itself around him, fitting with his like a puzzle piece. They both shared a sigh of relief. Yes, this was where Clark belonged; In their bed, in their lives and in their hearts.  He was here to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies!~ ^^
> 
> Poor Joker. Have any of you ever experienced a panic attack/anxiety attack? It feels like you are dying and afterwards, you feel completely drained. It's almost like a person is being hijacked by their own terror and often times, the sentiment or thought that caused it is completely irrational. Or perhaps it is more appropriate to say that the person was triggered by a memory of a past trauma that holds no bearing on the here and the now. 
> 
> Not being able to find anyone in the house threw the Joker into an attack. But, never fear, because Clark is here! If he had any doubts after quitting his job and closing up that chapter of his life in Metropolis, they were gone the moment he realized how much his clown prince needs him. And for getting to be his personal hero for the first time, Joker gets a more intimate nickname from his White Knight; sweetheart. I think Jokes will call Bruce 'darling', as is typical and will call Clark 'love'. Ah, but I digress. XD 
> 
> Anyways, this chapter didn't turn out like I thought it would! I was planning to do a reveal of what Bruce learned from his interrogation of Lex! Looks like that will have to be next chapter. Thanks so much for reading and I hope that you have a wonderful day! ^^


	25. Blinded by Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman confronts Lex.

"I knew you would show up, eventually. You always do."

Lex Luthor set his glass of 1787 Chateau Lafite down, before turning to behold the Batman, who stepped in through his balcony door. The red, silk curtains billowed up around him, crimson framing black, like some sort of evil omen; good thing Luthors were immune to superstition. Heavy boots carried the vigilante into his quarters, prompting the rich man to roll his eyes.

"Oh, by all means, do come in. Want me to offer you a drink, too? Since you seem intent on making yourself at home in MY house?"

"No more dramatics, Luthor." that deep voice rumbled, "The Joker was here today. Why?"

"Ah, yes, Joker. All roads lead back to the clown for you. Why else would you show up in my tower unless it had something to do with him?"

Bruce narrowed his eyes from behind the cowl; Lex was too blithe. Too smug. Fearless, even. What did the tiresome tyrant of Metropolis know that he didn't? Gloved hands slammed down on the wooden desk on either side of Lex, as Batman allowed the tip of his nose to nearly touch the other man's. He leaned large and in charge, allowing the fellow billionaire to feel every inch of his intimidation.

" **Talk**." he barked.

"The world's greatest detective and you've been left out of the loop; by your own ally, no less."

White eyes widened for just a fraction of a second, filling Luthor with satisfaction; he'd hit the nail right on the head. The Joker of his world had his side of the story confirmed; the out-of-towner's presence was enough evidence of that.  It was also plain to see that the lither clown was on the Dark Knight's side and he'd been the one making nice with the Justice League. Lex may have lost a bet because of it, but what he had gained in return was priceless. And it wasn't just Batman's humiliation, either. Though, that really was the cherry on top.

The other man knew that he'd been beaten. Slowly, the vigilante withdrew, until his cloak folded around him, as he all but, brooded. Lex wasn't much into flying rodents but, even he could admit that this sourness was a good look for him. Though, as he drummed his finger tips on the mahogany wood of his desk, observing the distraught Dark Knight, he supposed he could offer up a consolation prize.

"I would normally call security. But, I'm feeling charitable tonight, Batman. So charitable, in fact, that I'll give you a clue. Have you ever heard of the Higgs boson?"

"The God particle."

"Yes. It's the most powerful particle accelerator on the planet. Perhaps even in the entire universe. It proves the existence of the Higgs field, an invisible dimension of energy through which particles receive their mass."

"And how does this relate to the Joker?"

"You're the detective." Lex smirked, "Figure it out."

Getting a tip from Lex Luthor was like squeezing blood from a stone. The fact that he had even gotten this far was a miracle in and of itself. Which meant that whatever the Joker had given him or let him in on had put Luthor in a very good mood. Which, in turn, put him in a very bad one. Not just because the Joker had been keeping things from him, that he'd let Lex in on, either. It was because he had been put into the most difficult situation of all; either he let go of this whole thing and allow himself to fly blind on the winds of trust or he confess to his sin of spying on the Joker in hopes of securing the information he so desperately needed.

Either way, he couldn't win. And what was worse? Lex knew it.

"It must really eat you up inside. Knowing that you can't trust the man you're sharing your bed with."

He looked away for just one second and like a shadow, Batman was gone. Lex had been talking to an empty room. He should have felt like a fool. But, all he did was smile instead, as he raised his glass to his lips, confident that he was still quite wise compared to some; after all, the greatest fools of all were those who let love blind them to the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies!~ I'm here again, dropping yet another bite-sized chapter. So, let's look at what we have so far!
> 
> Joker has secrets, Lex keeps secrets and Batman wants those secrets. As for Clark? He just got finished sorting out his own issues and has been too in his own head to worry about what's perhaps even more important. But, don't we all get like that, sometimes? So stuck in our own heads, that we are missing the bigger picture? Too bad we all don't have our own Batman to keep track of that, while we're in our own heads, right? XD Either way, things are at boiling point. Batman needs his answers! The only question is, will he even get a chance to get them, before disaster strikes? Well, stay tuned and find out! ^^ That being said, have a wonderful day, dear readers and see you next time!~


	26. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce finds that there are some things more important than answers.

The rain was coming down in sheets.  A drenched man pulled himself from his vehicle and into the cave he knew so well.

"Welcome home, Master Bruce.  Shall I get you a hot beverage?"

"Yes, Alfred.  Make it a strong one, please."

"I trust that means that will have you burning the midnight oil?"

"Yes. I got a clue from an unlikely source, but I believe it to be the beginning of a bread crumb trail."

"A bread crumb trail, sir?"

Batman paused for a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Lex mentioned the Higgs Bosum particle; I believe that it relates directly to the reason why the Joker visited him.  Not only that but, it also reminds me of something Joker said, when Clark and I brought him to the cave for the first time."

_"This box practically makes me a god!"_

"He was doing what he always does; leaving a little truth out in the open to see if anyone finds it.  It's a game to him; it's always a game."

It was clear where Bruce's thoughts were going; while he may have wanted to trust the Joker with all of his heart, not having all of the pieces to the puzzle wasn't an option.  Inquiring minds needed to know and one would be hard pressed to find a more inquiring mind than Batman's.  His thirst for knowledge was understandable to Alfred.  But, his distrust was not.  

The butler was privy to the deeds of this clown prince, as much as everyone else in the household.  He had saved the world a few times and that was just the events they knew of.  He was tight lipped, but his intentions were good.  His heart was in the right place.  That meant that seeds of doubt had no place planting themselves in his ward's heart; not toward one of the men who shared a place in it.

"Sir, if I may be bold, have you ever thought of asking your paramour about this?"

Batman stepped into the locker room and began to shed his suit. 

"Getting him to tell me anything about his past has been difficult."

"And why has that been?"

Alfred gathered some light clothing for Bruce to wear after he finished up with his shower.

"He.."

Bruce's mind went back to that time in bed.

_"You can't tell Clark. He wouldn't.. he wouldn't be_ _able to take it."_

"He might believe.. that my mind wouldn't be able to handle the truth.  That it would break under the weight of the knowledge he is carrying."

"And what do you think, Master Bruce?"

"I think Lex Luthor was a field test.  Joker wouldn't mind if he shattered Luthor's mind.  If he could handle it, I would be able to."

"Then, does that not mean that he has plans of imparting the truth, soon?"

After a long pause, Bruce admitted, "I don't know."

The unspoken bit left in the air, between them?

_But, I wish he would._

"Well, I do believe that's a subject you can take up with Master Joker.  After he awakens that is."

"He's asleep?  That's unusual for him at this time."

"Indeed.  However, it was for the best. Master Clark managed to lull him to sleep.  He was unwell this afternoon."

His words had the desired result.  Alfred had to suppress a smile as Bruce all but, threw on his clothes and headed out of the locker room, straight for the stairs.  The Bat computer was all but, ignored.  

"It seems that Master Bruce will not be needing that strong beverage, after all."

"Bruce." Clark uttered quietly, as he lowered the book he had been reading from a settee in the corner.

The Dark Knight shifted his eyes from one of his lovers to the other; it went without saying that even in his sleep, the Joker was looking shopworn.

"What happened?"

Clark motioned for Bruce to take a seat beside him.  After a deep breath, Clark confessed,

"We left him home alone."

Bruce's face instantly grew concerned.  That only added to Clark's guilt; they all knew that the Joker had PTSD and abandonment issues.  They all knew what leaving him alone for hours and hours once they had bonded with him could bring.  And Bruce's suspicions about what had happened were only confirmed by the way Clark could not even meet his eyes.

"He had a panic attack." Bruce stated.

Clark sighed and nodded tiredly.  Bruce was a level headed man.  Flying off the handle about things, especially things that were already over and done with, never helped.  So, he chose his next words carefully, trying to get to the bottom of this. 

"You said you left him home alone?  But, today is your day off.  Weren't you-"

"I wasn't here.  I forgot that Alfred had running around to do.  I thought he was going to be here all day, so I left.  I left to-"

Clark bit his bottom lip.  It was now, or never.

"I went to Metropolis.  I.. I quit my job at the Daily Planet."

Bruce's deep, blue eyes widened a margin, before they calmed.

"Why?"

"Because ever since the Joker dropped into my life, he made me question everything I thought I believed in."

"He does tend to have.. that effect." Bruce admitted slowly.

"Spending time with him and.. and you made me realize that I'd been missing something in my life for the longest time."

"Which is?"

"Happiness."

Both men stared at each other for a moment, before they felt the need to shift their gaze away; it was amazing how sex was a non-issue, but talking about their feelings left them both more bare than they ever were when they were naked in each other's arms.

"I see." Bruce said, as he pushed back a few dark, rebellious locks from his face, "You decided that you needed a change of pace.  What will you do now?"

"I.. honestly haven't thought about that yet.  I mean, I need a job that's pretty flexible, since I want to make sure that Joker is not alone again.  I thought about getting an online job, freelancing articles, editing and that kind of thing since I already have experience- Uh, I mean, as long as it's okay with you."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

Clark's cheeks colored; he couldn't have been any more unprepared for this, if he'd tried.

"Well, I just.. I mean, I would be hanging around Gotham more and I know how you feel about other heroes in your-"

"Clark."

"Um, yeah?"

A hand so much more calloused and clever than his own came to rest on his knee.  The Dark Knight was a little emotionally constipated.  He knew that, being a very self aware man.  But, perhaps that was why this show of support and the words that came next felt so important; they would mean something to Clark, which meant that they were worth saying.

"I like having you around.  These past few months have been.. nice.  Getting an apartment in the city would be a waste.  Also, if you worked freelance, the only place you would be able to afford in Gotham would be in crime alley and I don't want that.  Besides, it would be better if you stayed here, if your goal is to look after the Joker-"

"What are you trying to say, Bruce?"

"I.. want you to move into Wayne Manor; Permanently." 

Sky blue eyes widened in utmost shock.  He felt like he had wandered into a dream.  Because Bruce inviting him to live with him, where he could be around him and their lither lover all the time was more than he could have ever hoped for.  One of his hands claimed the rougher appendage on his knee.

"You mean it?"

"Yes.  I want you here with me.  I like having you where I can see you.  It.. helps me worry less."

Bruce flashed a charming smile that just came off as adorably self deprecating, causing Clark to grin, as bright as the sun.  The man of steel swooped forward, stealing a kiss, which Bruce quickly relaxed into.  From the bed, unbeknownst to them, a green eye had slipped open.  Plush lips smiled, before relaxing again.  Anxiety attacks were the worst; but, maybe, just maybe, something good had come out of this one.  

_Good for you, Bats.  I'm proud of you.  Proud of you, too, Clarky-Clark.  Ha, my boys are finally growing up!_  

A sweet smile creased the edge of his lips as he rested there.

_I'm happy that I got the chance to be part of you two.  It's the happiest I've ever been in my whole life.  I wouldn't trade this for anything; not anything in all of the worlds._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my Lovelies!~ Well, well, well, Bruce and Clark are finally living together, officially, now! With Joker, of course. ^~ And while Bruce didn't get the answers he was seeking, he did come to the understanding that Joker is preparing to tell him the truth. And the clues we have to that truth? A mysterious box, Bat-Mite and the Higgs Bosum particle. What could this all mean? Guess we'll have to find out! But, if you have any theories, feel free to post them in the comments, below! ^^ 
> 
> I hope that you all have a wonderful day!~ =D See you next time!


	27. I Love You, Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is he just an extra in Bruce and Joker's relationship to the clown prince of crime? Clark honestly couldn't say with any sort of confidence that he wasn't; until now.

The day before had been rough on the Joker.  In the midst of his panic attack, he had been forced to question if tragedy had struck him one last time, leaving him all alone in this cold world after he had finally found all of the things he needed, but never before dreamed he could have.  However, a new dawn brought with it a new day and a new smile, as he found himself cocooned by two sets of warm arms.  

The Joker hummed and nuzzled in; this was nice.  So warm, so comfortable, so safe.  However, the longer this domestic moment lingered, the more a strange urge welled up in him.  Joker's eyes dilated and he began trembling with suppressed laughter.  He shouldn't do it; he knew that.  But, impulse control had never been his specialty.

Clark started awake as he felt something clamp down on his ear; hard.  No, it didn't really hurt, but the sensation was enough to jolt him from dreamland into the present to find a certain man's smile latched on to that part of his anatomy.  Blue eyes met green.  Snickers poured out of the clown's clamped teeth, causing a smirk to appear on the man of steel's.  So, this was how the Joker wanted to start the day?  It was on.

Bruce woke up to jostling.  He opened an eye just in time to see Superman pin the Joker beneath him.  The clown was trying his best to keep as quiet as possible, but his body was trembling with the effort.  The Dark Knight rolled his eyes.  Did they really think their best efforts were enough to sneak a quickie passed him?  He was Batman.  But, it really was too early for this, no matter how sexy it was.  So, he rolled over and pulled the covers over his head.  

That was their cue.  Clark discreetly scooped up his giggling bundle, before flying as gently as a passing breeze out of the room to have their fun elsewhere.  Bruce grinned slightly in his sleep; somehow, all was right with the world.  

The man of steel tossed his prize onto a bed in a spare bedroom.  In a flash, he'd locked the door and was on top of the clown prince, before the man even had the chance to stop laughing.  However, once their eyes met, they shared a more quiet, heart-felt smile, before their lips were drawn together, like magnets latching on.  

Something felt different about today.  The Joker just couldn't put his finger on it.  But, that didn't mean that he couldn't put his fingers to work, as they helped Clark get out of his plaid pajamas.  His own warm, fluffy, flannel ones followed soon after, as they let their eyes and hands explore the curves of each other's bodies.  As their lips connected once more in lazy kisses, it finally occurred to the pale man why this time felt different; this was their first time.

Joker was used to sharing his intimate moments with two men, not one.  Threesomes had been all he had experienced since he came here.  Not that he minded; on the contrary.  In fact, there was something powerful and heady about being in between two of the world's finest heroes and being the focus of their world, sexually or otherwise.  But, this?  

Hands once so eager, began to glide more slowly over those powerful muscles.  Clark paused, as he watched those ghostly finger tips ease over his arms, as if trying to memorize every inch.  The mood changed.  Joker's expression was fond and his smile, almost shy.  Like they were both new to this.  And Clark realized that they really were. 

This was the first time that they'd ever been in bed solo, without Bruce.  Suddenly, Clark felt insecure; more naked than nude.  But, as he shifted his eyes away, soft finger tips grasped his strong chin and eased it forward, as the clown prince urged him to look at him.  The results were as startling as they were immediate; with the way the jester was looking at him, it wasn't hard to see that he wanted him.   **Truly** wanted him; Clark Kent, not Superman.  Suddenly, it was as if he'd found himself wandering around in a madness entirely his own all of this time.  The clown prince was raw madness, yet in just one look, he'd finally seen the light; it was suddenly laughable to believe that the Joker had considered him to be a mere perk that came with bedding Batman.      

The man of steel smiled, as his heart soared with that realization; the Joker wanted _him!_  And he wouldn't disappoint.  Lowering himself down to rest some of his weight on the other man, letting their flesh press tantalizingly together, he earned a groan out of the harlequin, who adored the pressure.  Clark took to lavishing the clown's collarbone in open-mouthed kisses, while his hands explored.  

"C-Clark." Joker moaned out, as one of the heroes' hands squeezed at the other's plush rear, "Feeling a bit bold today, are we?  Ha!"

The man of steel growled softly in approval.  Yes, Clark.  Not _Clarky_ , _Supes_ or _SteelMan_.  No knicknames meant he was doing his job right, if the Joker couldn't even think to put his own unique spin on just who was going to be plowing him into the mattress.

"Maybe I am." he rumbled, as he licked a path downward, until he latched onto a snowy bud, getting a squeak out of the other man for his efforts.

" _Mmm_ , **good**.  I like you like this." the Joker confessed, as he buried a hand into the other's dark hair, a smile on his face as his body was showered with attention.

There was an unsaid understanding between them in that moment.  Joker knew Clark's little secret.  He had been too nervous before to take the Joker on his own.  He may have spent the most time with him, but it was like Bruce instinctively understood what the Joker needed.  

It made sense, of course.  Batman and the Joker had been arch nemesis's forever and while it may have been another Joker that he'd been playing against, there were enough similarities for the Dark Knight to understand this man.  And while some may have called it cliche to believe that opposites that extreme could attract, Clark had seen it happen time and time again.  Batman and the Joker went together like peanut butter and jelly.  They were opposites that belonged together; they knew each other, inside and out.

But, that much being said, Clark could never figure out where he belonged in all of this.  He knew Bruce truly wanted him there, as of late night, when the man who was usually so brooding and mysterious, finally opened up to him about how he really felt and how the clown prince didn't just think of him as an extra just by giving him that one, all important look but, where was his place?  It was a strange notion, but perhaps in a sandwich so rich with peanut butter and tangy jelly, he was the bread.  The stable, wholesome element that while it wasn't the most interesting part, was what held the meal together.  And the funny part was?  He was okay with that.    

" _Mnnn_ , **Clark**!  Feels good!" the Joker gasped as those hands of steel gripped his hips snugly as he plowed the clown with a force only likened to a battering ram.

The clown prince growled aggressively, as he raked his fingernails down the man of steel's back as hard as he could, causing a pleasant tingling to go down his spine, as he told him, "Kiss me, my fool!  Hahaha!"

And he did.  Clark kissed the Joker as if he was dying of thirst and the man below him was a river.  To that end, his prince reciprocated and didn't disappoint.  He rose up and met the force of his kiss, pouring into it pound for pound.  Clark was soon overwhelmed.  If the Joker was a river, then he was drowning in him!  The current he was caught up in, the backward and forward motion of their bodies rocking with the tide of their passions- it was almost too much!  Yet, not nearly enough.

But, if that was their poison, the Joker was the antidote.  Clark cried out, breaking their lips apart, as the clown clenched down on his member, as he came unraveled.  It was as if the Joker had grabbed him by his wrist, taking him with him as he flung them off the point of no return!  His vision whited out, as the sensation of completion filled him with Heavenly euphoria.

Bringing him gently down from the clouds was a pale, slightly cool to the touch hand, stroking his cheek.  When he looked into his lither lover's eyes, he loved what he saw.  The Joker's expression could only be called sweet, with that soft gaze and balmy smile.  This man struck terror into the hearts of men with just a cruel twist of his lips.  So, to see him like this, he knew, was a privilege reserved for the lucky few; as was the words that came next.  

"Love you, Clarky-Clark." 

Clark's eyes widened.  An 'I love you', just for him.  His heart skipped a beat when he heard it from those beautiful, rose-red lips.  It was everything he'd ever wanted; everything he'd ever hoped for.  

"I love you, too, Jo."

And with that, they cuddled together, as the sun began to come up over the horizon.  They both had things to do.  But, some things were more important than the hustle and bustle of everyday life; this was one of them.  Clark sighed as he relished the feeling of holding a dozing Joker in his arms.  Yes, the day could wait just a little longer.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, my Lovelies! ^^
> 
> My goodness, it's been such a long time since I've posted! Sorry about that. But, I hope that this chapter finds you all well and if not, I hope it at least helps bring some sunshine in to brighten up your day! =)
> 
> Anyways, so, Clark's insecurities have finally be resolved. Now, he can be the best man of steel he can be! ^^ And Bruce has finally realized that he, after all of these years, is finally happy. So many wishes are being granted by our favorite nutcase! But, the real question is, can his own be granted? And Batman still has stuff he NEEDS to know! Will the Joker ever come clean? Better tune in to next chapter to find out! ^~ 
> 
> And always, thank you so much for reading this fanfic and for those who have been so supportive of it and me, through an admittedly rough time. It's your support that helps me keep writing! And I hope you have a wonderful day! See you next time, dear readers! ^^


	28. Super Suits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman and Superman's suit suits go missing!

He'd looked for them everywhere; in the attic, in the pool shed and of course, in every nook and cranny of the cave.  But, as sure as the Gotham nights were long, Batman's Batsuits were gone.  Desperation growing, Bruce popped into the section of the cave where he stored memorabilia from a time long gone by.  His eyes narrowed at the sight of the empty mannequin.  Even here, too.  What was going on?

"Alfred." he asked, as the butler passed by, a dust cloth in hand, "Have you seen my Batsuits?"

"I can't say that I have, sir.  Perhaps asking Master Clark will yield some results."

But, what should he find, when he finally located the man of steel?  A distressed hero who was rummaging through his new bedroom closet.

"Clark."

"Oh, hey, Bruce!  Listen, have you seen my suit anywhere?  I can't find it to save my life." 

Clark may have been scratching his head, coyly, truly under the assumption that he had merely misplaced his crime fighting uniform, but the parts of this mystery were all coming together, clicking seamlessly into place like the pieces of a puzzle.  

"Joker."

It didn't take long to find the clown prince of crime.  When he wasn't napping, saving the world or making random Youtube videos for his five hundred subscribers, he enjoyed lounging in the library on the velvet sofa, reading.  And sure enough, that's where they found him, laughing it up as he indulged in a Calvin and Hobbes comic book.  

"Oh, God!  He really locked the babysitter outside!?  Ha!  Hilarious!"

But, interrupting his fun was a meaty hand that lowered the book in front of his face.

"Oh, hi there, boys!  What can I do you for?"

But, Bruce knew him all too well.  The way he crossed one ankle over the other and folded his fingers together in an oh-so-satisfied fashion had given away the game.  

"The jig is up, Joker.  Where's our super suits?"

"Why, I'm surprised at you, Batsy!  Accusing little ole' me of petty theft!  Besides, what makes you think **I** _took_ em?!  I mean, it's not like I could even fill them out like you big, strapping men, can I!?  What use could I possibly have for-"

Both men crossed their arms and gave the clown a pointed look, causing the steam to go out of the jester's sails; he knew when he was caught.

"Okay, fine.  I wouldn't believe me, either.  I _did_ take them.  I took them and I hid them!  And I'm not sorry!"

"But, why would you do that?  It doesn't make any sense." Clark began, perplexed, until struck by a sudden revelation, "Unless.. You're using them as bribery."

Bruce looked at the Kryptonian, impressed, while the clown prince giggled delightedly, kicking his feet in the air a little, thrilled.

" _Ooohoohoohoo_ , you're getting to know me so well, Clarky-Clark!  I **love** it!  And bingo!  I am using those suits as leverage!  You see, you two have responded to-"

The clown pulled out a notebook and flicked it open,

"Thirty-five calls for help this week!  And they weren't even all that important!  Let's see.. a girl's cat got stuck up in a tree, three petty thieves tried to loot a local jewelry store, Eddie busted out of Arkham to get away from Johnny, since the two are having a lover's spat- I mean, _really_ , boys!  Those are jobs for Gotham's and Metropolis' finest!  God knows the officers could use some exercise." 

With the muttering of that last part, he tossed the book over his shoulder.  Meanwhile, Bruce had a hunch.  But, he was never one to make blind assumptions.  

"What are you getting at, Joker?" 

The prince smirked, before he flipped onto all fours and crawled across the couch to get up close and personal.

"All I'm saying is, you've been spending too much time on those petty annoyances and not enough time with **_moi!_** "

Suddenly, understanding hit both of the men like a lightning bolt.  They exchanged glances.

"So, let me get this straight." Clark began, his old reporter's intuition kicking in, "Is it safe to assume that you hid our suits, because you're jealous of everyone else getting our time but, you?"

"In other words, he hid them, because he is jealous of the suits."

The Joker sputtered.

"What!?  And they say I'M crazy!  It's not so much that I'm jealous of your suits!  I LOVE your suits!  Why, they're your Sunday best!  And there's nothing better than a couple of well dressed men at my finger tips, _hmhmhm_!"

The clown flopped back and drummed his fingers against his chin in thought.

"It's more that I hate that you boys wear your suits for everyone but, me, really.  And you've been so busy.  I mean, what am I, chopped liver?!  Aren't I important, too?"

That pout!  In all of Superman's and Batman's battles, they had yet to face a force as potent and Earth shaking as the clown's lips, when he exhibited displeasure.  

"...I see." Bruce began slowly, "A trade, then.  We'll spend the day with you-"

"And you'll tell us where you hid the suits." Clark added with a smile.

It was amazing how quickly a frown could turn upside down.  It was even more amazing how quickly the Joker could get ready for his day when he was motivated by the prospect of fun.  And the other two men had to admit that this was perhaps long over do; it was nice to get some time away from it all.

Since Bruce was their guide, no expense was spared.  They placed bets at the racetrack, wined and dined downtown and even boated in the Ambergreas bay, where the whose who of Gotham sailed their yachts.  Bruce preferred more quiet living, despite his playboy reputation and his nightly calling, but watching the two men he loved being able to enjoy some of the finer things in life was more satisfying than trying to enjoy it alone.  

That being said, perhaps the Joker was right.  Perhaps they really were working too much.  Perhaps it was time, at long last, to trust the GPD and Metropolis to handle some of their own minor upsets.  It would be hard to let go for the Dark Knight.  This was his city, after all, just as much as Metropolis was still Superman's.  But, sometimes, there were more important things than micromanaging every little thing.  Case in point, the two souls Bruce was sharing a sunset with at that very moment.

Finally, it was the end of the day.  The nighttime held even more promise, as they chose to spend it in Bruce's modern and sleek penthouse suite, that the Joker considered nothing short of sexy.  Speaking of sexy things, the clown prince of crime came on strong, whispering sweet nothings into each of his men's ears, only to dodge their advances to tease.  But, the Joker was not a patient man by any means.  It was only a matter of time before he got down to the brass tacks and what he fancied that evening didn't disappoint.

"I want to ride Clarky-Clark, while our handsome, brooding Bat takes him from behind, **ha**!  Sound like a good time to everyone?"

All the blood began to travel south as the Joker gave them a look that was downright criminal; needless to say, a good time was a foolproof guarantee.  A few hours later, they laid there, panting in a heap on top of four hundred thread count, silk sheets.       

"That.. was amazing." Clark breathed.

Bruce hummed in agreement, only to be slapped in the chest with something.  Clark had gotten the same treatment, before the clown prince flopped down in between them and snatched up a pillow to snuggle into.

"What's this?" Bruce asked lazily, as he eyed the slip of paper.

"Laundry receipt.  Your suits are down at the Dry Cleaners on 5th street.  Don't worry, I told em they were rentals for costume parties and they were none the wiser.  But, seriously, how often do you clean those suits!?  They practically needed fumigated!"

And that's when Batman and Superman realized the truth; they'd been duped.  The Joker hadn't hidden the suits per say.  He'd just made the whole thing up on the fly, when they came looking for them, rigging their suspicions to work in his favor for a fun day out.  The Joker gave a semi-guilty, but still highly amused smile as they eyeballed him; he quickly tried to crawl out of bed before they could make him pay for his evil doings.  But, he was quickly dog-piled and tickled into tears of karmatic justice.

" **EEEEEEE-** Okay, I'm sorry!  I'm sorry- _heheheheeeee_!  S-Still meant what I said- **AAAAHAHAHAAAA**!  Y-You boys need to take more time off and pay attention to meeeeee!  Just wanna spend more time t-together- _HOOHOOHOOHOO_ -Is that such a crime!?"

Bruce and Clark finally relented, sitting back to think on this.  No.  No, it wasn't a crime.  Because how could they fault him for wanting to spend his time with them?  For loving them?  If what the Joker did was a crime, then it was the sweetest they'd ever seen.

"Forgive me?" the Joker asked as he gave each of them a smooch on the cheek.

"Forgiven." Bruce rumbled as looped an arm over the pale man's middle.

"I forgive you, too, Jo.  But, next time, just tell us that you're lonely, okay?  And while I appreciate you doing the laundry for us in your own way, please be careful with my suit.  Ma made it for me and it's the only one I've got." 

"Just one suit!?   **Ha** , talk about your minimalism!  Say, Batsy, why does Clarky-Clark only need one and you've got like fifty?  I had a Hell of a time hauling all of those downtown, you know!"

"Because not everyone's suit can be made of a highly elastic, nearly indestructible polymer from an alien world."

"Wow.  What do you know?  Someone finally has something that Billionaire Bruce Wayne CAN'T buy!   **Hahah** -"

The Joker was cut off when his back was pulled up against a sleepy Dark Knight's chest.

"Sh."

Joker grinned, because he had a suspicion that Bruce didn't want him to rub it in, only for Clark to scooch over and snuggle in at his front.  The warmth of both men's flesh pressed up against his own, sandwiching him in, began to take its toll.  He yawned wide, before allowing his own eyes to slip shut.  On each of their faces rested a hint of a smile.  It had been a wonderful day; one to remember.  But, little did they realize that it was only the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay folks, this is the chapter before things start hitting the fan and getting a bit more serious. But, with this one, I wanted to have a little bit of fun. ^^ Anyways, special thanks to Wizard_of_Ozzie for suggesting that I put some jealousy into the mix! Er, it didn't come out like most jealousy does, but it is still a kind of jealousy, nonetheless, I guess. XD *The Muse beckons, I go, no matter how weird, lol* 
> 
> And thank you for reading this fanfic, everyone! And I hope that you have a fantastic day! =)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my Lovelies! ^^ I'm back! Like I said in the description, this is a less serious rp than the last one for the most part. Going to keep it casual and even a bit fluffy. Let's have fun together, shall we? =)


End file.
